My ideal for a girl is one with about a 99.9999999% rarity. I'm not particularly looking for anyone to date actively, and most likely won't for a while. What I'm wondering though, is if this is the same thing a girl may be thinking, and if so is it a wish that ever gets fulfilled? For reference purposes, I'll list her characteristics:
Avid reader, fantasy prone (prefers to indulge in image of self as an Elven woman possibly), extremely artistic, has many academic interests as well, honest and unprejudiced (I don't tolerate people who squirm under social opinion in any form), and unclingy yet deeply romantic.
Have at it.
thats rare?
Now if you said all that and good looking, then it would be very rare.
My ideal woman is beautiful, hispanic (cause them bitches are bangin), likes to cook and clean butt naked, and loves to fuck....
Thats the shit right there.
thats rare?
Now if you said all that and good looking, then it would be very rare.
My ideal woman is beautiful, hispanic (cause them bitches are bangin), likes to cook and clean butt naked, and loves to fuck....
Thats the shit right there.
You killed my thread.
thank you.
Aaaaarggh.
"unclingy yet deeply romantic."
Sorry, doesn't exist.
hahaha OP, girls like that aren't all that rare.
I have all the qualities you mentioned, and am at least reasonably good looking too. I fantasise almost constantly,no elves though. I'm definitely not clingy, and very romantic. Love to read, extremely artistic, various academic interests, etc, etc. I've met a few other girls who have most of these qualities too... I wouldn't know whether they fantasise about elves or not, though lol. Myself, I am thinking not now, but at some point in the next year or two I'll start dating again.
The Elven romanticism is a must, though.
>>11 Fanfiction.net
Don't expect hotties or intelligent people, but they'll like elves. And they might know a good-looking chick who swears to the heavens she won't touch FF.net who also meets your other criteria.
I should have expected to be redirected there.
>>1
haha u think you'll have problems, listen to this:
Humble, upright, honest, dedicated, not superficial, generous, likes to clean and cook, has no problem following yet isn't afraid to speak her mind, down to earth, mild, loving, hospitable, forgiving, easygoing, family WAY ahead of friends, reasonably good looking, preferably virgin.
Not a feminist
Doesn't read beauty magazines and crap like that
Will not let the TV be a future babysitter
Like the outdoors, spending time with the family
Spends less than 5 minutes each day on makeup and shit(preferably, she doesn't even use it)
Intelligent enough to know when to shut up, calm and gathered
Handy
Doesn't talk shit about anyone
Proper, yet isn't uptight about anything
Healthy sexdrive
Finds personal satisfaction in pleasing others, while still having dignity to choose right above wrong
Sensibility above senses
Doesn't assume to be half as good as this, but damn well strives to be
Off the top of my head, I can think of at least three girls with most of those characteristics. Join a fantasy book club or take a writing class and you won't have a hard time meeting those sorts of girls at all.
You'd probably like me, as I have about half of those traits. But you'd also probably drive me away by being so picky.
>>15 doesn't seem to realize that "Not a feminist" conflicts with "Handy", sexdrive, right & wrong, <5 minuites, no beauty mags, & speaking mind.
How deep. Yeah, right. You just want a girl who is independent enough to not follow the masses, yet still defers to your chauvanist tendencies. The faint calls of a thousand Myspace whores rings in the distance....
Also-
I'm in an Honors writing class at college. It's horrible. Everyone around me is an opinionated politician waiting to bitch and moan about the latest development on CNN. They're so idiotic that my teacher crosses out entire sentences from my papers because "...sometimes people say those things without knowing what they mean...", which leaves me sitting alone and wondering at how she can possibly lap up what everyone else writes.
>>15
Join a Mennonite community.
You'll easily find a woman who fulfils almost every single point, except that she's probably scared to death of your penis.
What I look for in a women:
Good looking
sex fiend
sexy and playful
average intelligence
somewhat clingy
>>21
Indeed she should be, it is a fearsome device.
And about your advice, I'm reading up on the mennonites as we speak, I actually might just do that
I should have been more specific: take a creative writing class. You'd probably be best off just joining a fantasy book club or something.
>Humble, upright, honest, dedicated
To the extent any human can be. I know I'm not the best person out there, but I'm proud of myself. I tell lies sometimes, but most are to protect me or another person (read: I have secrets, and I know secrets of others. I keep those secrets).
>not superficial
Check.
>generous
If I like you.
>likes to clean and cook
I can be a huge slob, but I love cooking. I'd expect my other half to hold up their part when cooking and cleaning though.
>has no problem following yet isn't afraid to speak her mind
On one hand, I want to go "Uhhh, what?" but on the other hand that does describe me. I have my beliefs, and I'll speak up for them, but if someone obviously knows what they're doing and I don't, I'll follow.
>down to earth, mild, loving, hospitable, forgiving, easygoing
That's me.
>family WAY ahead of friends
I have a wonderful family far enough away that I don't have to see them all the time. This is perfect.
>reasonably good looking, preferably virgin.
Check on both.
>Not a feminist
I believe men and women are different, but both have equal value. Is this feminism? I honestly don't know.
>Doesn't read beauty magazines and crap like that
I don't think I've ever seriously read a beauty magazine.
>Will not let the TV be a future babysitter
I'm not going to have kids until I am fairly sure that I can give them a good upbringing. This may mean I'll never have kids.
>Like the outdoors
Sometimes.
>spending time with the family
I get the feeling you're looking for a wife and mother, not just a girlfriend... I honestly can't answer this question, because I'm way too young to start thinking about family.
>Spends less than 5 minutes each day on makeup and shit (preferably, she doesn't even use it)
Check.
>Intelligent enough to know when to shut up, calm and gathered
I usually guard my words very carefully, but if I feel comfortable with you, I will carry on long conversations.
>Handy
Haha, no.
>Doesn't talk shit about anyone
I fail at this too.
>Proper, yet isn't uptight about anything
This is me, to an extent. How I act normally is quite different from how I act when I'm in a situation I'm comfortable with.
>Healthy sexdrive
Yeah.
>Finds personal satisfaction in pleasing others, while still having dignity to choose right above wrong
Yeah, but my version of right and wrong may differ drastically from yours...
>Sensibility above senses
I honestly have no clue what you mean...
>Doesn't assume to be half as good as this, but damn well strives to be
I am who I am, and I like to think I know who I am. Oddly enough, I don't even think most of these traits are my best traits.
Oh, okay. Yeah I think a creative writing class would be appropriate.
>>20 A woman can't contradict an analytical truth. (ie, truth by definition)
>I believe men and women are different, but both have equal value. Is this feminism? I honestly don't know.
Feminism = equal rights for women, though equality not being identity (ie, men and women are different, so ethical approaches to them should be different insofar as men and women are different). This includes the ability to be whatever kind of woman one wants to (ie, not being restricted to stereotypical ideas of beauty, etc).
Excerpt from Wikipedia: Feminism has altered aspects of Western society, ranging from culture to law. Feminist political activists have been concerned with issues such as a woman's right of contract and property, a woman's right to bodily integrity and autonomy (especially on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care); for protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape;[6][7] for workplace rights, including maternity leave and equal pay; and against other forms of discrimination.
>>25 Wow, do you want a fucking brain?
>>I honestly have no clue what you mean...
No wonder, my lack of understanding for the english language led me to misenterpret the word "sensibility". What I meant was; putting morals above emotions, or something like that.
>>Oddly enough, I don't even think most of these traits are my best traits.
>>Yeah, but my version of right and wrong may differ drastically from yours...
I think so too, yeah.
>>Is this feminism? I honestly don't know.
Not necessarily.
>>On one hand, I want to go "Uhhh, what?"
Well then to put it bluntly; I do not want a woman who isn't ok with me being the head of the family/relationship.
Anyway, thanks for being so forthcoming, you do seem like a nice girl, although people talking shit about others, pretty much makes me revolted. So that's a rather big turnoff. Out of curiousity, what do you think your best traits to be?
>>A woman can't contradict an analytical truth. (ie, truth by definition)
Yes and ofcourse these things are so simple that you could say; if you're not a feminist, you are definately bound by the faults and ideals of what I percieve to be the opposite. Right?
I don't need to call myself a feminist to believe all humans have equal rights, that's just so readily obvious in my mind. At the same time however, a large portion of the feminist movement stands for ideals and ideas I do not agree with. So I would never call myself that. And from what I've seen, those who typically call themselves feminists are not the kind of people I like to associate with. I've met plenty enough women who are outspokenly non-feminists to not feel a need to go there. Not surprisingly, I've also found these women to be some of the more intelligent and likeable persons I've known.
>>28 You don't believe in equal rights. This is evidenced by your desire for a woman to be subordinate to a man.
>>29
You don't know what I believe in, you know your preconcieved ideas about things. I have never viewed or treated anyone as anything less than an equal.
I base my values on personal observations, not some shit I've been fed with by others without asking why I should eat it. This is what I think; people who percieve functions as having anything to do with value or equality have a very sick view of humanity, and are part of what is wrong about this world. I can't believe in womens rights without believing in mens rights and childrens rights, human rights in general, what is ultimately best for people, what best fulfill our needs.
I've been around for a while, I've seen how people work, how they think and act. And I repeat, I will not have a relationship with a woman who isn't ok with me being the head of the relationship. Ofcourse then, it is her choice to have it that way, and I have not deprived anyone of their rights to anything, unless you believe it is every womans right to have a relationship with me.
If you say feminism is about womens right to choose their part in society, then it is womens right to choose to be subordinate to their husbands. Am I wrong?
Perhaps I'm wrong, but
>I base my values on personal observations, not some shit I've been fed with by others without asking why I should eat it. This is what I think; people who percieve functions as having anything to do with value or equality have a very sick view of humanity, and are part of what is wrong about this world.
seems very indicative of a traditional, fundamentalist Christian idea of men & women's "Equal rights through different roles", that actually subjugate women. This was also my point above.
If a woman chooses to relinquish her rights, she chooses to do so, that's within her rights. (And we All relinquish our rights for certain things.)
You cannot, however, say that men and woman have equal rights if the woman is forced to be subordinate.
And for the record, it's hilarious that you characterize others as not having thought through things. I was formerly to be a minister and have thought all views such as these through philosophically to reach my conclusions.
IT'S DEAD.
>>seems very indicative of...
If it does, it's because fundamental christian values still have roots in natural human behaviour.
>>that actually subjugate women.
I guess that's your view. I cannot draw to mind a single passage in the new testament where women are forbidden under penalty to leave the faith or their husbands, thus not being forced to follow christian values and principles.
I know Paul writes that neither the man nor the woman is allowed to leave the relationship, however he makes an exception for women stating; "but if she chooses to leave anyway...". He makes no such exception for men however, and it's rather clear to me that this is in respect to cases of abusive husbands.
>>You cannot, however, say that men and woman have equal rights if the woman is forced to be subordinate.
I don't believe I've said that anywhere.
>>And for the record, it's hilarious that you characterize others as not having thought through things.
No dude, look: That's how I characterized myself of not having done. You were the one telling me what I believed in, I stated you were wrong, writing; that's your preconcieved idea. Don't give me this shit, if you want me to believe you think things through, stop throwing hasty statements around.
In fact, when it comes to women I do nothing but look for one where I believe I wouldn't have to exercise some kind of fucking veto to have the relationship run smoothly.
However, seeing how this search has proved ultimately fruitless, I'd rather be safe than sorry and make sure the woman I get with is ok with subordinating herself already from the start, so we don't have to endure a hefty surplus of retarded spats over ultimately useless shit throughout our married life. Ok?
Can I retain that right without being percieved as a machiavellistic pig? I sure hope so
I hope you find your dream girl (and not just in your dreams :)
The reason people cant get a dream girl is beacause they're too busy talking about womens rights instead of talking to a real woman.
And now... MY obsurdly overly picky list of qualities for my perfect man:
Artistic, while opinionated about art and hates what modern art has come to. Loves to ponder the big issues in life. Aims to use his life to make the world a better place. Passionate. Isn't afraid to speak his mind, enjoys intelligent debate. Is at least decent to look at, prefferably has nice hair. Likes music, but isn't the type that obsesses with it too much. Has a good sense of humour, idealy, shares my sarcastic one. Is not christian. Has well thought out moral values, and sticks to them like glue. Is very open minded. Romantic. Not a pussy. Likes to travel. Likes to read. Is good in bed. Has dignity. Would not want to have children until he was in a position to be an excellent parent. Does not lie. Or cheat.
Heh, OP here. I'd disappoint you greatly. The reason I included a few important absolutes in my ideal woman is because all the details could be discovered, woven, torn apart, and generally cherished by the both of us. Of course, this would have to be concretely understood by anyone I choose to impart my heart upon. I only want, at the core, an honest, highly intelligent, discriminating, unive sal partner, to travel through temporal and physical space with. Elven conviction is only a connotation for someone incredibly and unwaveringly convinced of the beauty in nature. I've nothing phony to confess. Hell, I let my ex stick vibrators and things up my butt, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I want a woman who doesn't bleed when menstruating (meaning, never eats processed foods). Women are purty, yuck, ugh, GWAAAAAAAARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!
Then the usual:
Pretty/Beautiful face
Nice perfectly sexy/curvy body
Nice boobs and ass
Perfect pussy
Doesn't have to have brains
Virgin
LOL
> If it does, it's because fundamental christian values still have roots in natural human behaviour.
L-O-L You Wish.
>I'd rather be safe than sorry and make sure the woman I get with is ok with subordinating herself already from the start, so we don't have to endure a hefty surplus of retarded spats over ultimately useless shit throughout our married life. Ok?
Ultimately useless shit like Her: "No, honey, you're wrong." You: "STFU Bitch! God Says gb2/kitchen/!"
>Can I retain that right without being percieved as a machiavellistic pig?
As the above example illustrates; clearly not.
>>36 That can't be that rare. I fit some of that (I'm not an artist of any sort, you could call me a pussy sometimes, I've never traveled, it depends on what is to be read, and I'm a virgin), and thus there must be others who fit the full bill.
Try hanging out at coffee shops and going to philosophical events in your community. No, seriously. I'm sure there must be some group of people that fit about that description.
Furthermore, I recommend Facebook & searching by "Interests -> art" or "philosophy" or "traveling" or something along the lines of what you're looking for.
Well with that rarity rating, there are 3.5 women for you on the planet currently. You have a chance at meeting about 0.01% of the total human population in your lifetime, and thats only if you travel to every big city on the planet and spend some time traveling everywhere in it. About 45% of the worlds population lives in rural areas however, so you will probably only meet about 0.05% of the women out there who are perfect for you in an extraordinary lifetime.
I expected just as much. Time to lower my standards and affix my name wit 'da' and 'king'!
Err, wait... There's a midget like that?
> Artistic, while opinionated about art and hates what modern art has come to.
I used to take a painting class in middle school, but that's way in the past. Nowadays, I rarely do much with art, but when I do, non-artistic types still think I'm a great artist. I don't understand modern abstract art, does that count? I don't like to judge things, so I don't really "hate" modern art, but I don't really appreciate it, either.
> Loves to ponder the big issues in life.
Yep.
> Aims to use his life to make the world a better place.
Oh yes.
> Passionate.
Bit too much sometimes.
> Isn't afraid to speak his mind, enjoys intelligent debate.
That'd be a semicolon, not a comma. Also, yes.
> Is at least decent to look at, prefferably has nice hair.
Meh. I've heard that I'm "above average" from practically everyone; I've heard no one say worse, and a few people say better, but I think they were lying.
> Likes music, but isn't the type that obsesses with it too much.
Ehhh, I suppose I like music, but not enough to listen to it much (on the upside, I get moral high-ground for never pirating it).
> Has a good sense of humour, idealy, shares my sarcastic one.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
> Is not christian.
Check.
> Has well thought out moral values, and sticks to them like glue.
I try to, and I think I succeed. Others might be better at judging that, though.
> Is very open minded.
Oh yes.
> Romantic.
Bit too much.
> Not a pussy.
...maybe I am sometimes, but hardly all the time. I don't know; that's not a very specific adjective.
> Likes to travel.
I suppose I do.
> Likes to read.
Oh yes.
> Is good in bed.
Never tried it, assuming you mean what I think you mean.
> Has dignity.
When necessary.
> Would not want to have children until he was in a position to be an excellent parent.
Yep.
> Does not lie.
Is anyone like this? I try not to lie, although I will adjust the truth, and sometimes lie a bit to reduce hurt feelings, and probably in similar circumstances.
> Or cheat.
Cheat on a significant other? 'Course not. Cheat on a test or quiz? Nope. I get the feeling you're asking about a different kind of cheating, though.
I don't know, for all these lists, I usually find either myself or one of my friends fulfilling most of the requirements. People are all like "this is my dream person" and then list things practically anyone who isn't a jerk is.
>>44
I could have made that list a lot more absurd, but I thouht I was being pretty demanding already, lol. And of ocurse even fullfilling it, the person could have unnacceptable faults, such as a fetish for puppy killing, etc.
But after reading your post I feel more optimistic. There's hope for me yet!
I think list making is not the best way to go about it. Someone can fulfill all your stated requirements, and still not be the one for you,... Personally I've found more productive to get to know the person I'm attracted to, and just feel how I'm doing with her. As long as I feel good, everything is fine. And if after some time (months, years), I still feel good about her, then I consider getting more deeply engaged with her.
I've been with the same person for 11 years now, we are married, and I'm very happy. But there's no way she would have fulfilled any list I could have drawn before I met her (wrong air color, character, level of maturity). Anyway, I don't think I would have been able to draw a list of what actually works for me, as a person. Maybe your wishlist person would be terrible for you to live with! Things are so much more rich and complicated than you think, that in the end I think it's better to try and find it out.
And she must be a vegetarian, an advocate of non-violence, literally.
>>46
Well, way to state the obvious. List making is for fun and amusement, not actual use in real life.
>List making is for fun and amusement, not actual use in real life.
Sure,... Except many people have essentially that kind of attitude in real life. One symptom of it is the so called "Mr. Right" syndrome.
Anyways, lists are not totally pointless, experience tells you there are things you need and things you must avoid, and that's a useful list to have, if you don't want to relive the same failures once again.
>>40
wtf...
Haha srsly you just don't know me, ok? Stop pretending like you do?
I could discuss my views on feminism and religion with you but I don't want to hi-jack this thread, however:
>>As the above example illustrates; clearly not.
It illustrates nothing. You say I wouldn't value my wifes intelligence and listen to her? You say I believe I'm right about everything? You say that, if I were "the boss" of anything, I wouldn't listen to suggestions and criticism, give others right and admit when I'm wrong? These are assumptions you base your example on. All it illustrates is that you're full of prejudice, because I've stated nothing of the sort.
If you're saying that any kind of leader is unquestionable, flawless and absolute, that's your view and not mine. Ok?
You know, a fellow with a sarcastic sense of humor isn't terribly likely to be the type who wants to make the world a better place.
>>49
You mean many people actualy apply these lists to real life, seriously?
Yeah, me too. Probably going to do the Peace Corps in a couple years, but that doesn't preclude me from having a wry sense of humor. I really don't see much of a connection unless you've been watching too much House.
Everyone has one or more major personality flaws.
As this includes yourselves...
Even if you found someone perfect, what would you have to offer them?
Idiot. We scrutinize because they must have qualities we find best to fit ourselves.
>>Even if you found someone perfect, what would you have to offer them?
Nothing. That's why I don't date.