This is a weird thread.

-overly clingy
Quite the opposite.

-needy for attention
Not really. I like going out and doing things with people, talking to people, I like being around people and having their attention focused on me when I say something, but I'm not needy.

-stalkerish
I might google your screen name if I really like you, but I'll also feel really bad about it.

-totally fucking jealous
Hah, no.

-very shy, blushes easily
Sometimes.

-dreamy, spaces out
That's me.

-untidy
Yeah.

-poor eyesight, a bit crosseyed, ugly glasses
I have near perfect eyesight, but I want glasses.

-big nose
I hate my nose.

-big ears
No.

-short
No.

-mild acne problem
Yeah.

-knock-kneed
No... I don't even know what that means, honestly.

-skew teeth
I have perfect teeth.

-impossibly messy hair, ideally it should stand every which way in the mornings
No.

-sloppy dresser
Sometimes.

-tries hard but fails even harder and gets all depressed when she does
No, I'm a rather upbeat, happy person who usually either succeeds or is able to deal with failure.

-too skinny or a bit chubby, either one is fine
Neither apply.

-conscious about her physical flaws
Yeah.

-stupid humor, laughs at random things and gets embarassed
Yeah.

-mostly doesn't get my jokes
Depends, are your jokes any good?

-tries to seem smart while she actually isn't, often forgets herself about this
No, I'm smart but I act like an idiot.

-makes wierd noises when she laughs
Heh, I don't know...

-forgets herself with picking her nose
Ew, no.

-nail-biting
Yeah.

-clumsy
Yeah.

-drools when she sleeps/laughs
When I sleep maybe, when I laugh now.

-gets awfully mad when I tease her, tries to hide it but fails
I actually like being teased.

-got some wierd ass fetish that I totally don't get
Heh, who knows?

-loves me
Not really.

I think you're just looking for a girl you can feel some power over... which is understandable, I'm currently chasing a boy because I know I can get him without risking too much hurt.