I like him, but... (28)

1 Name: Chou : 2008-03-09 08:27 ID:kKEfXRn0

I have this friend of mine that I've been planning on asking out, but I haven't been able to do it. I mean he's really nice, and I think I'm over the LOL RELATIONSHIP DRAMA! everyone else seems to have, but maybe I'm going a little to fast and I don't want to ruin a good friendship if it doesn't work out. I see him everyday so it'd get kind of awkward. And I'd feel guilty if it worked out because I heard from a friend that someone else likes me, but didn't do anything about it when he/she heard that I wasn't interested in dating at the time. In the past when a guy would ask me out, I'd turn him away. Could I be initiating the relationship to keep from losing control or was I really not ready? Someone help me sort out my teen drama pls! D:

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-09 09:10 ID:KWktlMlE

This is the crucial moment. As if you were the cannon ball inside the fateful cannon. "Load 'er up, matey!" cries the peg-legged, one-eyed dread pirate Brownbeard. Tension sends chills down the crew's spines as they rush around the deck. Fire! Off you go, you are flying over the ocean, you can see the waves crashing wildly below you, your stomach leaps in the air and your short flight seems to last forever. But then again, it is over only too quickly. Rushing head on are the innocent wooden planks of the enemy ship. Your course is now unstoppable, any regrets you might have about being a cannonball are unimportant. There is a decided fate for you at this point: you will sink the ship.

The plainchant version of this might be difficult to understand. I don't know a word of Latin anyway, so it would be impossible for me to write it. So I guess I'll say it in a less holy way, but still something less secular than pirates. A sort of compromise, if you will, of religions. Sort of like how carrot is kind of a compromising vegetable. "Okay, you don't have to eat your greens, but at least eat a carrot, please?" That sort of compromise where I explain it in no other way than computer code. Geeky, old-fashioned, not to mention passe', but here goes.

if (!doIt){
if (heLikesYou)

If you don't get it (I couldn't really blame you) then maybe it would be better to consider a lesson. A lesson under the sea. A scuba diver following schools of jellyfish, surveying them behind the tinted clear plastic of his diving mask. He understands, he comprehends, but he cannot put it into words. This is the kind of feeling I seek to elicit. The sort of explanation necessary. Well, maybe a poem would be effective.

Ask him out.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-09 09:17 ID:RADyRhhf

s0meone said 'ask him out'

>>my teen drama

based on this information my advice is thus:
dooon't doooo eeeet

Save your teenage years for something actually worthwhile, you'll later be thankful you did

4 Name: Chou : 2008-03-09 19:35 ID:kKEfXRn0


Sooo, forget regret and do it anyway?

That's incredibly cryptic, but it makes sense sort of... I think


I know, but to be honest, I think I'm playing safe with asking him out

He's kind of a nice safe guy >.<

5 Name: Chou : 2008-03-12 21:46 ID:kKEfXRn0

I tried asking him if he wanted to hang out this weekend, but he's got something to do with his family D:

I kinda realise we'd make a bad couple

We've both never had dates and are socially awkward

Thanks anyway 4-ch >.>

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-13 01:47 ID:KWktlMlE

Don't give up just because of one weekend. That's like spreading peanut butter on your bread but then realizing there's no jelly, so you just throw it away. No, eat the mother fucking peanut butter sandwich, you can buy some more jelly at the store anyway so it doesn't even matter what matters is the present gift permeating like rain through a thin umbrella one with holes you got it for too cheap from a street vendor, and so it does little good, but you keep carrying it around during rainstorms just because of the way it makes you look and the way it makes you feel. Like a cat's toes or a wooden towel rack.

My girlfriend and I were both young and extremely socially awkward when we hooked up, but we did it. You can support each other, and learn how to function in society together. That's 4-ch for you, platitudes and encouragement, but that's what you need; that's what you want. The simpler advice is, the more appealing and effective; everybody loves a guru that gives advice that is easy to follow; in any case the actual results are less important than the process. The journey counts, the epilogue 'happily ever after' is uninteresting and trite; don't focus on your lack of parachute and the impact on the ground, but enjoy the trip down, take in the scenery, experience what life is like inside a cloud, then you can be happy before you smash into the ground at terminal velocity and die.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-14 00:34 ID:Ympcsbw1

>>6 In other words, the experience of dating can be good. Otherwise, ponder love and yourself more so that you're ready for when you do decide to date. (Ie, so that you know your views on love and have self-confidence)

8 Name: Chou : 2008-03-15 08:06 ID:kKEfXRn0

I've never been the type of person to carry around an umbrella I wouldn't use, no matter how it makes me feel. And if there were no jelly available, I'd just find some jam or bananas, or save the piece of bread for later, it's not like it's going to grow legs and begin to walk by itself by the time I buy some. I don't want to rush anything, especially if neither of us are ready. And I really don't think I'm ready just yet. I can't even support myself, how could I support someone else? And please don't say the power of love, I've heard it too many times from people whose relationships have failed.

Despite the fact that it's nice to know that someone who could have been once as social awkward as I am found love, but these kinds of things end badly, especially in high school and I don't want to strain our relationship. I'd much rather stay friends then have to spend 40 mins of my favorite class trying to avoid him

Will do. Maybe I'll wait a few days and it'll come up in conversation, I don't know >.<

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-16 00:11 ID:3KWxkP1Z


Date rape him. It will remove the awkwardness.

10 Name: Chou : 2008-03-16 04:21 ID:kKEfXRn0

If I could get a date with him first

Maybe I should just stop beating around the bush and ask him out already... I have this Japanese resturant in mind, or is that too formal for a first date?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-16 10:02 ID:kh9jLs5h

Japanese restaurant is nice, and you can talk. Now depending on where you're living, might be bit too exotic,...

Otherwise I'm with cannonball man!

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-16 16:07 ID:Heaven


This is one of those moments where I look at a post and just wonder "Why?".

13 Name: Chou : 2008-03-16 18:13 ID:kKEfXRn0

Not too exotic at all, though it is sort of fancy. There's this Indian place I've been wanting to check out that seems a little less formal. Why can I only think of food? Any other suggestions for what to do?

Because it's possible?

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-17 06:56 ID:3wNRAz1v

Pick something you enjoy or think you'd enjoy doing (and if you know him, something you think he'd enjoy?).

Bowling? Bowling's fun.

Picnic at a secluded beach?

An afternoon at the art gallery?

The carnival!

Just don't go to a movie, you can't talk and interact and stuff.

15 Name: dthncrnge : 2008-03-17 11:18 ID:g7d0p5hq


There is this girl that I know that every time I set up a date, she splits off and doesnt show. She claims Im not being screwed with, and I dont know, but I do know how I feel about her. I wish that I could tell her how I feel. Dont make the same mistakes of others.

16 Name: Chou : 2008-03-18 02:54 ID:kKEfXRn0

Hmm, can't do bowling with just the two of us

Afternoon at an art gallery sounds good, but he's an art student and it may just remind him of school >.<

I'm planning to do a group thing with a bunch of friends and inviting him so it's not as awkward as a date. My friend suggests that we go see a scary movie so I can leap into his arms or something equally corny and then going out to eat. We agree on the general idea, but reach a conflict on what to do specifically. Just because I'm taking things slow doesn't mean I'm giving up. I just want to get to know him outside of school.

I'll sleep on it.

She could feel the same way about you and may be too scared that she'll do something wrong during a date. It seems like a little too much pressure. Or she may not want to date you but is too polite to say anything. Either way, it's pretty flaky.

17 Name: dthncrnge : 2008-03-18 11:17 ID:g7d0p5hq

>>16 Agreed.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-18 13:43 ID:RADyRhhf

Girls have this advantage that they could actually do that and it would be fine. I'm frustrated by the lack of straightforwardness, especially since I can't take a hint.

I usually realize like a year past hand that "oooh, she was totally in to me and flirting like hell", I just think girls like to hang out with me and nothing else. lol

Next time a girl want to watch a romantic chick flick with me and puts her head in my lap, I'm whipping out my cock

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-18 20:00 ID:fxD87SAe

> Next time a girl want to watch a romantic chick flick with me and puts her head in my lap, I'm whipping out my cock

A popcorn bucket with a hole in the bottom is much more subtle.

20 Name: Chou : 2008-03-19 10:51 ID:kKEfXRn0

It wouldn't be fine, rape is bad. Girls just try it less, and the guy's usually too embarrased to admit to being raped by a girl, so he acts like he wanted it.


And keep that thing in your pants dammit

Just make sure to fill it with popcorn first

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-19 14:28 ID:m8pm06+c


If he's an art student, chances are he actually enjoys looking at art, so I wouldn't worry too much about it reminding him of school. I would suggest trying to find an art exhibition thats not the same old portraits etc, maybe something a bit more modern and fun, perhaps something participatory? Then you can bounce ideas off each other about what the art means etc.

Also, a group idea is good, but it can be awkward sometimes. If it's a group thing it's probably best to be something that you can split up into pairs and not be missed - otherwise you might end up having to keep talking with your friends rather than getting to know him better on a more intimate level.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-19 18:00 ID:fxD87SAe


Usually it's the comparatively weak physical strength, lower sex drive, absence of aggressive and competitive behaviour, and the lack of a penis that prevents women from raping men.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-19 18:20 ID:RADyRhhf

lower sex drive? lol
different sex drive? Now we're talking, see lack of penis

absence of aggressive and competitive behaviour? bitch please...
different aggressive and competitive behaviour? Truth, see weak physical strength

Indeed I have found that most women, actually are more aggressive, competitive and horny than any man I've known, only it shows quite differently.

I didn't mean it like that, I was talking about forcibly making sexual advances. I've had girls do that, many guys I know have. Just that, when it comes to the point of rejection, a man could typically overpower a woman if he wanted to, then it becomes rape. But a woman could more easily just be pushed the fuck away, why you don't hear so much about female rapists.
What you do hear about quite a lot however, is females, wrongfully accusing men of having tried to or successfully raped them.
This is quite typically done when a woman has failed to force sex on a man, and gets all butthurt about it.

24 Name: Chou : 2008-03-20 00:48 ID:kKEfXRn0

I saw him, but I was rushing so I totally forgot to get his phone number. Crud.

Then she thinks in some backwards way she's justified, when she's just a bitch.

True, there's a chance that my friend may not even be able to come, which would make for a very convenient situation. I asked her to join us because a) she wants to see him and b) she needs some cheering up after breaking up with her boyfriend. This usually spells trouble, if it weren't for the fact that she knows when to back off.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-23 01:29 ID:kKEfXRn0

We never got around to actually going out.

I feel kinda bad because I made the plans and had to cancel because I realised I didn't have any money and didn't want him to pay because I asked him out. And he was at the movies waiting for me. Well, this is going to be an awkward Monday.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-24 03:43 ID:eYChFhl7

He's going to think you're just toying with him, to be honest. But hang in there! Don't give up hope! Make up for it by showing him that you're really serious.

But I also have to second guess you. I mean, not having any money is widely regarded as a bullshit excuse to cancel a date. I'm sure you could have borrowed some money or went to an ATM or somehow otherwise procured some cash. Are you subconsciously trying to sabotage this relationship because you're afraid of getting hurt?

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-26 23:50 ID:2bsDHVnv

If your money thing was indeed true, you can just go and tell him. I'm a guy, and I like women who make themselves clear - it saves us a whole lot of trouble.
"Uh, ya know, I cancelled cause I was outta cash, and I didn't wanna make ya pay." would sound nice. Maybe a bit broke (of course!) but it's a good start. So you can just add something like "But if you want, we can do something that doesn't require spending at all. I wanted to see <insert something you could buy LATER ON, or just same lame excuse here please>, you wanna go with me?".

If you're still afraid, ask yourself: why NOT do it? Heck, if things go wrong, just remember to be fair with him. He'll get it, if he's no dork. I bet he'd prefer to go out and (maybe) don't work out later on, than just not trying at all.
And missed chances don't come back, keep that in mind.

28 Name: Chou : 2008-03-30 05:07 ID:kKEfXRn0

Partly because I don't want to lose a good friendship, but most of the time I am broke. God, I need to get a job.

Plus pride gets in the way of borrowing more than a few bucks that I can't pay back for a while cause I'm in debt. Imagine college D:

If I told him, he'd insist on paying for me next time. I just told him something came up and I couldn't go, which sounds worse, but it got the job done. I heard from my brother he does pay for his friends when they go out, but I made the plans, so I should have at least brought enough money to pay my half. I mean, you don't take a girl out and expect her to pay for you, right?

I did tell him that I was sorry for skipping out on him, and decided to ask if we could hang out later on when it was convenient for both us. Hopefully we can do something that's both fun and cheap

Like pumpkin smashing :3

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