What's the point in a relationship that doesn't end in marriage and babies? (23)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 09:31 ID:Lcpfcu6q

(alternatively, civil partnership and nothing)

I've been trying to wrap my mind around this for like forever but I just can't figure it out. What is it that people are looking for in dating/going out/whatever when they don't intend for the relationship to end in either of the above? The entire concept seems like a total waste of time, money, and resources, and I just don't get it at all.

Is the answer "Sex."?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 10:58 ID:Heaven

Yes.

Alternatively, no. Try viewing society from without the laws of society.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 12:56 ID:Heaven

I hate kids but I enjoy companionship.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 13:02 ID:OYW1VO20

I know right now in my relationship, I'll admit, I think that marriage will probably happen one day, but aside from your obvious point about sex, I like to think of it as having the ultimate best friend, one that will always be there for you, to laugh, cry, spend time with, and typically enjoys what you enjoy!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 13:06 ID:74GLEnyJ

> Is the answer "Sex."?

Isn't that the exact same answer as 'marriage and babies'?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 13:39 ID:5lT4BBwd

Well the thing is most girls expect every relationship to end in marriage and babies etc

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 17:16 ID:5uhp/cS2

It's all practice for when you do find the girl who you'll marry and have babies with

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 17:49 ID:5k0r4RYN

It's fun. And the practice thing too.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 19:12 ID:Lcpfcu6q

>>5

I wasn't aware that sex came with a 100% chance for marriage and babies. And when I say marriage and babies in this case, I mean both of them, not just the latter.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 23:22 ID:atPHfYJX

>>9

Indeed.

>>1

A relationship is kinda like a quest. A quest for the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Thus, the dating game is just that, a game. You meet someone, you go out with them, you may or may not have sexual relations with them, and then, if you're lucky, you may find that this person is the one for whom you set out on a journey in the first place. If you're not lucky, you break up. In all honesty, it's not a wasted relationship. If the relationship ends on peaceful terms (ie, your ex doesn't throw things at you whenever you see them), you can rest easy knowing that you can cross that person off the list of potentials, and still (hopefully) have a very good friend. If your relationship ends with fire and brimstone, well, sorry to say it, but you're fucked. But once again, that's one less potential you need to worry about.

Love is a journey. Embrace it!

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 00:34 ID:tVJbz6x0

A relationship doesn't necessarily have to be a commitment to bringing a new generation to life. It can just as well be about having someone to share life with, through both good and bad times.
If you decide, somewhere along the road, to have babies, that's great...if you want it. If you decide to get married, that's a great expression of how much you love each other.
A RELATIONship is just what it says: A relation with someone else. It doesn't mean "future generation factory". It CAN be, but it doesn't have to.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-24 04:11 ID:Nw02qKi2

happiness in the present moment.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-24 08:38 ID:d3AI4ggY

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-28 04:17 ID:3fMNSn5g

>>1

What's the point of a relationship that does end in marriage and babies?

On a less "contradictory asshole" note, the interconnectedness of the Internet age has made some people virtually incapable of entertaining themselves without the aid of others. Some people get around it by gluing themselves to their cell phones and forming a huge circle of friends; others form what used to be called "commited" relationships for the sole purpose of avoiding their own boredom.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-28 20:32 ID:358VjW0R

I don't care about babies, marriage or sex.

I just want to hold a girl in my arms. ;_;

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-29 14:19 ID:wnlWHVXl

>>15

same here dude...

i agree that girls all tend to look towards marriage and babies.

i mean the moment my gf (i foresee soon to be ex) realised she couldn't envisage living with me for the rest of our lives and getting married she started doubting the r/s...bleah.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-30 11:02 ID:cmMq1sOJ

>>16 You need someone who loves you, not someone who loves your sperm generation ability.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-30 13:19 ID:F26K35MT

Honestly, people are insecure as all hell and need that special "someone" to not tell them they're an utter fuck up even if they do utterly fuck up. And then some just do it because having a significant other means undivided attention (perfect for those who lack any real sense of confidence or security). And even others just because it's physically pleasing to be in close contact and do this and that and hubba hubba behind closed doors. And then there are people who honestly just want someone to care for them, and in return there are people who want to care about someone else. Everyone's different in that respect for motivation.

Don't wrap your mind too tightly around the topic because the answer is ultimately only (and should only) be meaningful to you. Every person has their own motivations why they are/want to be involved with someone (albeit some people's reason are less honorable than others). And even then, there are those who believe trying to pursue a relationship is an utter waste of time in a lot of significant aspects.

But I will say that a lot of people nowadays are wary of using words like "love" when it comes to relationships. Telling someone you're seeing you love them implies marriage and a family, which is becoming a less viable option for people who just want to swing or pursuing a career. I suppose that's why a lot of people choose to simply date rather than just tie the knot.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-01 17:35 ID:UpdKa56X

Me and my gf are very much in love with each other, but unless it's better in legal terms for us to get married in the society we live in, we don't see the need to get married, cause there's no need to prove the obvious. One reason is also that we are not religious.
As for kids.. maybe if we will have jobs that pay enough and of course more importantly time to bring kids into this cruel world. But money is not important for us, life experience and wisdom is, so who knows what the future brings. Atm more interested in travelling and experiencing the world than settling down in one place.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-11 00:06 ID:7XYgq42u

Training for when the day comes.

21 Name: twilight : 2008-04-11 03:39 ID:CX/CxP/U

I've been trying to wrap my mind around this for like forever but I just can't figure it out. What is it that people are looking for in life when they don't intend to live forever? The entire concept seems like a total waste of time, money, and resources, and I just don't get it at all.

Is the answer "porn"?

22 Name: akldfjlsrf : 2008-04-12 00:29 ID:7YvxYnBy

Personally, I think that there is no use for marriage. The only reason it was created was to make sure the woman was secure in the later part of her life.

Women and men are basically equal now. Both work and both can sustain themselves. There's no need to sign a contract allowing a woman to take 1/2 your shit. She should go and earn it herself.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 10:20 ID:izusSHtC

>Women and men are basically equal now

Hahahahaha, no way. Women still get treated much worse in the workplace, given lower wages than their male equivalent and are often bumped out of certain positions if their bosses think they might want to get pregnant in the future.

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