I'm a 21 year old female and I've never dated before. I'm rather introverted, and romance just became something that didn't seem it would ever be for me.
About eight months ago I made a friend who has fast become the greatest friend I have ever had. And quite recently, I fell head over heels in love with him. The thing is, he's in his 40s.
We get along well. The age difference is lost in our conversations. Sure, sometimes he starts talking about "when he was my age" and when something happened in '77, but other than that, I just plain forget that he's as old as my parents. Sometimes a gray hair catches my eye and I realize that he was my age when I was born, but it doesn't bother me that badly.
Anyway, I'm in love for the very first time, and madly so. And it's begging to seem like it's mutual. Lately he's been complimenting what I'm wearing each time we meet. That's quite new. He also asks me about mundane stuff he never had before. He laughs extra hard at my feeble attempts at humor, and he has been inviting me along on grocery shopping trips just to spend time together. We have plans to meet inside of his house for the first time ever next week as well, and it was his idea to do so. But he's never hit on me or made innuendo or anything like that. I'm afraid that he does feel the same for me, but is too afraid to make a move because of the age gap between us.
Is such a thing so wrong? Am I blind to an obvious fact? Is it creepy? I'm of legal age and I feel mature enough to handle such a relationship at this point, and really, age shouldn't matter here, right? What's it matter if someone is physically twice your age if you're both on a very similar mental plane and you genuinely care for each other?
Please give your opinion and advice, my dear board. I just want to know what other people think. Thanks.
To be honest, once each person is past the legal age then any gap is more or less irrelevant. If you find you still have enough to talk about despite the age gap then why not just go ahead and enjoy yourself?
If you feel comfortable, I say go for it.
Other people will find it creepy. You might get called a gold digger or something like that. As an aside, make sure he's not married before you go any deeper.
> I'm a 21 year old female and I've never dated before.
> We have plans to meet inside of his house for the first time
I hope you understand that in his mind he most likely views this as an opportunity for sex. If you're not ready for that, bring along some pepper spray and let friends know where you're going.
HE IS A PEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!!111
This will all be awkward as fuck, but you will not back off anyway so what does it matter?
Presenting your parents to your new boyfriend will be an epic episode whenever it occurs, I wish I could be there.
Don't do it
Do it. You both have tons of gain from it. He can impart upon you his experience and wisdom, and you can help him regain his youth. There's nothing better for a man his age than a young woman when he's probably starting to grow a bit cynical. And a strong, dependable man is perfect for a woman your age.
speaking of age gap, i was actually about to post a thread about it myself, but to save space i may as well post in this one.. sorry for any inconveniences.
to avoid tl;dr i will cut it short. im 19, shes turning 16 in a month. i like her and all, and i know shes into me but i just cant get over the 3 yr gap. at that age it can be pretty bad i hear, but as far as 15/16 yr olds go i have noticed she is more mature than most i have met.
what should i do?
>>8 Keep it simple for now. She's not legal, so don't go there. But romance? Go for it. There's nothing wrong with love.
I think u should go 4 him, but don't get 2 serious b4 knowing that u are going 2 b 2gether.
>>8 You could still date her. i mean it's not that big of a age difference, but don't go too far.
I'm 20, she's 15... It's Canada, but, GAHHhhhHH ('A` )
>>1
I think you should try it if you feel like it will work!
If you're happy together, then because it seems like you're mature enough to know there might be problems because of the age gap, then there is really no reason to hold back.
Just be aware that you might be looked on upon by other people, and you might not be approved of all the time.
If you don't mind that, do like >>3 said and make sure he's not married, then go on and try and make this work!
Good luck!!
Where are people finding all these too-young girls? I run into none in my day to day life, with the exception of schoolgirls on the bus. A friend of mine at around 30 had a girl somewhere around 15, and the guy would never say.
I have a 33-year old friend who married a guy who was about mid-forties when they started dating. It's not as big a gap as OP here has, but my friend is doing great, even with the college stepsons who came with the package.
I say you can go for it. Age gaps don't really seem to matter once you pass your 20s, and as >>15 says you seem mature enough to know whether or not this relationship will work or not.