i'm 20 this year, and i have only dated once, and it was really informal too. i wasn't that into him, and we ended things quite quickly.
that was when i was 18, and since then, i haven't dated. i'm in college, the time when most people date, and date a lot too. so i'm just wondering what the hell is my problem.
i don't know a lot of guys. the guys i know are either in relationships or i don't have interest in them.
and the thing is, i don't think i'm that ugly, and i have seen many less-than-attractive people in happy and long relationships, so why am i still single? i don't get it.
I'm 26, I've only dated once, for 3 days. It was kind of not serious, lol.
I'm definately not unattractive, personally I think I'm handsome, and I've had plenty of girls chasing after me over the years. I just don't indulge them, nor do I particularly hunt for girls myself.
And that's my main reason for still being single I guess. I don't go in for it, and I suppose girls are somewhat scared to approach me with their feelings because I never flirt or answer to flirting, barely talk about relationships, rarely sex and never about women in the way most guys do. I actually find such conversations to be tasteless and stay out of them. Also I'm a bit eccentric and distant at times, but I'm good company and most people like me.
In fact when I think about it, most girls I've ever gotten close to have fallen for me.
I'd date you, >>1. Most guys on this site probably would.
>>2 you are me. except I am 6 years younger than you. I guess things never change.
>>5
Nah they do, people like you and me are just a bit behind. In the end I don't think that will be a bad thing.
Same here. >>2 describes me pretty accurately, except I'm six years younger and don't think I've had that many girls chasing after me over the years. (Only a few.)
>>7
Oh, and I actually never dated anyone. EVAR. So you guys are still ahead of me.
I haven't dated anyone, but I'm four years younger. I don't have female friends either.
24. Never dated. Never done anything with a women, not even kissed.
Boo fucking hoo. Pull up a chair and join 4-ch's Lonely Hearts Club. First of all, college is NOT a time for dating. Compared to our parent's time, college is full of hook-ups, one night stands, friends with benefits, and all kinds of sex-without-dating activities. I'm in college, right on the frontlines, and I can tell you it happens very often.
OP, I can't tell if you're female or gay. But my advice will work for you either way. First, you have to start branching out with people more. Don't just hang out with your friends, talk to your friend's friends, and their friends. Look around for guys when you're in clubs or doing your hobbies. Of course some guys are going to be taken, and some you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. That's why you need quantity! More guys = better odds.
And don't go bar marauding. I really don't think it good advice. NOW, I have never been in a bar, and I am under the legal drinking age, but having sound advice and watching shit tons of TV and people; I know my shit enough to know that bars are pretty iffy.
>>12
Well excuse me but you're wrong. I met lots of good friends in bars. And those friends have friends, who have friends, etc. It's a good way to build a social circle.
What you don't want to do, is go to the same bar every fucking night and get drunk every time.
>>13
I hate walking into bars, especially if they are iron bars.
♫ Tear down these bars for me
Stop me from going under
You aren't the only one who knows I'm holding back
It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these bars for me now ♫
19. Never been on a date. No female friends. I think it's because I create wierd psychological barriers for myself or something. I'm just bad at starting up with meeting people. Sadly none of my friends really have anyone to set me up with either. Not to mention the party scene is not at all for me.
I've grown to accept it lately (with the school year wrapping up) but it still drives me crazy. I don't even care if it's a shitty relationship, I'll take just about anything to kickstart that whole aspect of my life.
>>2 describes me pretty accurately, except I'm NINE years younger and don't think I've had that many girls chasing after me over the years. (Only a few.)
this.
Same. Except for the girls chasing me part. Or at least not as far as I'm aware of. I have been told by a few female accquantinces that I am very attractive. I should mention that I'm almost 6 years younger than >>2 as well.
Of course I haven't dated. Which really is unfortunate because I want to. There was one time, but I don't really consider it a date.
Shame is, back in HS I was told by a girl (one that I liked at that) that I was intimidating. Which was something that truely blew me away seeing that I don't think that I am at all intimidating and really I am a rather warm person. Intimidating would be the last thing I'd associate with myself (then again until this year I never really considered myself that attractive, but popular opinion seems to be contrary to it).
>>18
Perhaps why she said your intimidating was because she was scared to confess to you? Pretty women (and some men) are typically single, surprisingly, because they people are intimidated from asking them out, thinking that they're not worthy.
I'm 22, but my first date of my life was with a high school girl when I was 20. The year 2006 for me I had 3 girl friends, and that last one is now my fiancee. How did I meet so many of them? Honestly, randomly, but always in places I don't go to often. college clubs, activities, outings...the more you participate, the more people you meet, and the more chances you have of meeting a single girl (or man) in them who shares your interests. Its intimidating at first to ask someone out, but just prepare yourself for chance of being shot down and it doesn't hurt so much if and when it happens. I used to think I'd be single for the rest of my life, but I found my life partner honestly pretty fast, I hope that you all don't give up and keep trying, your special person is out there, keep believing it.
>>18
I realized some time ago that if you show yourself as someone really intelligent, deep and stuff like that, people will find you intimidating, even if they like you. There are traits that are indeed qualities that must be kept hidden because they tend to scare people away.
The thing not to do is "hint" at something more complex inside you. Either be complex on the go, or don't show it at all. It might interest some people, but in the end it's not worth it - people are way too scared of what they don't understand and don't think they can control.
Thanks. I am fairly involved, probably could be more so, but I get by. I guess in college it's a little wierd in a way because there's very few people that you can really hold a long infatuation with as in HS. So it does become somewhat of a different game.
The problem is, some of the most attractive girls I've seen are on the way to class rather than in class. Which opens up a whole new set of issues. Not to mention I'm not that talkative to begin with, at least not for starting conversations.
I've realized too that for some reason I try and hide my interest in people. Where I don't want to let them know that I like them/infatuated with them/etc. It's wierd, and I'm not quite sure why I do that.
I don't mind getting shot down, it's just having someone to get shot down by, right now I guess. So far though my record is 0-0. Of course that's not really a good thing. I never did tell that girl how I felt.
I see what you mean. Better to let them get to know you and work them into your more interesting/complex self rather than put it all out at the forefront.
Exactly... I consider myself the same way but it tends to scare people away and you and end up scaring yourself as well. I'm 26 (guy) and dated last year for the first time in my life. I am not a cover-face but not unattractive either. Still I lost all these years for nothing. Back in HS there was this girl that made the hell out of my life, putting me down and making me hate myself because she thought I was "hideous". That went on for straight 3 years. All that time, I couldn't get that she actually had a crush on me (furiously scaring girls away from me whenever they approached me). She was practically my shadow. That left a scar on me. I lost confidence... Had few girls over the years that cared for me and have shown infatuation, but stupid me... I never responded in the right way. I let this bad memory torture me thinking that what she said was true (the hideous part). Yet, last summer this girl approached me and we started dating. Had a first kiss (yeah first kiss @ 25 -- pathetic) which actually went on for 20 minutes :) She said she actually found me very attractive and interesting and helped me realize how much I lost by letting one mentally unstable and insecure girl draw an image of me FOR ME. I admit I am still insecure and that mainly comes from the fact that I am fat. But instead of whining I am actually doing something... Lost 30 lbs in 2 months. 80 lbs more to go, but I'll make it until New Year.
I'd say to younger people to keep trying. So what if somebody turns you down? So what if a person says you're ugly? Remember they're all individual opinions and you can't go on and screw up your life assuming that every next person you meet will have the same opinion on you. We are all insecure no matter how attractive we are... And guys if you wait for girls to make the first move you better sit down and relax... cause you're in for a long wait... and when and if they come, you'll likely ignore them making up excuses.
>>And guys if you wait for girls to make the first move you better sit down and relax... cause you're in for a long wait... and when and if they come, you'll likely ignore them making up excuses.
Or just do what I do, realize nothing's ever going to come of anything, and try to tell yourself that Megami magazine and a bottle of Bushmills are the only companions you'll ever need.
Sometimes, it actually works.