Dual Gender Dillema (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 07:54 ID:YAHfLqmU

Alright, here's the deal. I'm in a loving relationship with the man of my dreams for about a year now. I have absolutely no complaints to speak of about him, and I truly believe that we will marry and all that good stuff. Nothing unusual there.

However, when I was in high school, (I've been in college for a few years now), I became infatuated with my best friend, who is a female, and really made me believe that I was in fact completely homosexual. However, when I confessed to her, she rejected me, of course, and we've still been close.

However, whenever she breaks up with a boyfriend of hers, she always comes running back to me, and says all this cute stuff like "I miss you!" and "I really want to be with you!" (not in the sexual way) and it just confuses and frustrates me. She wouldn't be so hurt if she wouldn't have rejected me, and it makes me a little mad.

I used to be in love with her, but I can't say the same now. I don't want to be with her, (I might have a fantasy about making love with her, but that's it), I just don't know what to do with these unresolved feelings. What should I do?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 07:58 ID:9MtJPniN

Haha, well, funny thing. I'm a guy, and I have a good male friend of whom I tried to date, but was also rejected. I still fantasize about him as well, except its only the sexy bits. It seems like you are a last resort for her, and therefore not of much relationship importance. So you should ignore her attempts to court you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 07:59 ID:1brS4f5G

Does your partner know about those feelings?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 08:00 ID:YAHfLqmU

>>3

Yes. I told him this already and he's not offended or anything by my feelings, since I was honest from the start.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-16 21:28 ID:1brS4f5G

>>4

Then maybe you should fulfil your fantasy so it stops being a fantasy and you get rid of feeling that way. Maybe he wont mind.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 01:15 ID:lGOXijiu

>>5

I dunno. I really don't want to. The unresolved feelings are more about her realizing that she was wrong, or something to that extent. ><;

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 02:01 ID:Heaven

She rejected you, but knows that you had feelings for her, so now she's using you to feel better about herself when her own relationships fail. Just tell her to stop bothering you and to worry about her own relationships.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 07:59 ID:IyuQ8x5r

tl;dr Married woman is in love with best friend.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 08:07 ID:1brS4f5G

>>7

Seconded

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-24 12:19 ID:Heaven

>>7
thirded

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