I've never really liked anyone before, so I sort of tried to brush it off several times whenever my heart jumped when he touched me or put his head on my shoulder (!) or whatever. I know how easy it is to mistake things like that for attraction, especially when you're in school and all this other stuff is flying around.
But I don't think anyone generally has repeated romantic dreams like holding hands or cuddling with a guy you're close friends with (my first excuse) or have a sort of maternal instinct towards (second excuse).
And he has at least two other girls who like him, and I met one of them today, and I do think she's okay but all I could do was point out her flaws in my head and think about how incompatible she would be with him. That's a bad thing.
So what do I do? I'd like to go back to having my weird, random dreams already. Should I tell him that I like him?
If you don't tell him, someone else [aka those two girls] may tell him, and then your chance may be gone forever. Go ask him on a date, maybe he'll even say yes. The worst that can happen is rejection, and if that does happen at least you'll know.
And if you don't you will regret it.
if you rather have dreams...THEN DON'T CONFESS! It's better for you to say how you feel, rather than thinking "what might happen" and it never occurs.
Also, it might hinder you, preventing you to move on, and you might miss other opportunities, without even noticing. Or noticing too late...
I don't think the question here is should you, but rather, how do you?
Confessing is generally a bad idea for either gender. It puts the other person on the spot. The person you confess to will often pull the "I like you too but not that way" excuse.
Here's what you do instead: Set up a small quick date between just the two of you. Something like lunch together. Just the two of you. Keep the conversation light and positive, and afterwards, tell him that you enjoy spending time alone with him (that's all) If he doesn't ask you out, try another small date, and tell him you had fun again, and this time, also say it would be fun if the two of you could do it more often, and in different places. If he STILL doesn't ask you out (he might be a little thick) , you can either go in for the kill yourself and ask him out on a date (ONLY ASK FOR A DATE, DON'T CONFESS) or brush him off, because he probably doesn't want to date you.
OP here.
Well, I was just thinking that I would say it casually, like it was nothing big (because hopefully it really isn't). Since he's really thick anyway, on the off-chance that he does believe me and still shows no sign of reciprocation, I could laugh, brush it off, and change the subject to Grand Theft Auto 4. Hopefully he wouldn't feel bad, and he has plenty to talk about afterwards.
He doesn't generally like hanging out with people, so asking him out with just me and him would put him more on the spot than just confessing directly. I don't want to make him that uncomfortable for my benefit.
As much as getting together with him is nice, I think that all I want to do at the moment is get it off my shoulders. Maybe later the relationship stuff might happen. I can't set my hopes that high, after all. I don't want to get completely crushed for my first love.
JUST BE FRIENDS WITH HIM FIRST! I'm sorry, but to start a relationship...you have to start a friendship first. What happened to the words "You're my best friend" in wedding vows?
I have never heard those words in wedding vows.
Well, I'm already really good friends with him...
>>12 that's not I received it from >>1.
Anyways...just talking to him is a good start. However...U REALLY need him to get off is comfort zone if you want to progress such a friendship. I mean...it's nice that you are adapting to his liking...but what about him to you? Isn't it kind of unfair that you only care about what he's into...and not you? Trust me...I went through this with my girlfriend when we were first friends. We talked about what I LIKED...but eventually she didn't want to talk for a while. She later explained that it was about "ME, ME, ME" and not about her. So...I had to pay a little bit more attention to her...and it worked out well...the same with other friendships I have with girls.
and >>11...I GOT DRAGGED into a lot of weddings...and most of them say that. Maybe not some couples...but it's common.
I feel like we put too much emphasis on confessing and forget who we are confessing to. I feel like if you are mature and 'confess' in the right way, then you don't have to worry about the other person freaking out. Remember OP, he is your friend, and if he is a true friend he will be there to help you out, despite your problems.
OP just one day sit him down and be completely honest with him and use language that won't scare him like "I LUVS YOU!" No, just sit him down and say like, 'We have been good friends for awhile and I feel like we have a better connection that other people...blah blah blah...I have started to develop feelings for you and I want to tell you because I trust you and know that you will know how to handle the situation...blah blah blah etc' I dunno, something like that, just be honest and try to keep an open conversation to sort out this situation. Again he may feel the same or he won't but that is a leap of faith that you will have to take. But talking from experience it is better than sitting around and wondering what could have been.
OP here. >>14, I was planning on doing something like that, although it sounds a little corny, haha, but something happened.
HE KNOWS!!!
He found out that I like him! Since I found out that he found out that I liked him, I haven't really seen him since, but now I really don't know what to do. And since he's known since Friday, how am I supposed to react? He's been acting completely normal to me, too, so I know he's not being a jerk about it.
But now I'm depressed. I couldn't even tell him.
>>15 I wanna know how he knew that he likes you...
anyways...being depressed means that 1) you feel rejected and 2) you aren't doin' anything to win him over. Now that I see it...I would go for this: go for broke! At this point...the gig is up. He knows you like him...and either he likes/dislikes you, but is embarrassed to say it. Therefore...just pull him out one day and tell him. It will only hurt more if you prolong the situation.
>>15 when I first confessed to my best friend, it was because he found out from my other friends telling him. we took a walk and I told him, "I guess you know what this is about, huh?" He made a affirmative noise and I said, "Yeah..I like you..."
I should have planned it out better, and maybe even phrased it better. But it was important for me to be able to say it to him.
he didn't return my feelings, but we eventually worked it through and became closer as a result.
But like soccerfuu said, you really have nothing to lose. if he knows, all you have left to do is find out his reaction. GO FOR IT!
>you really have nothing to lose. if he knows, all you have left to do is find out his reaction. GO FOR IT!
I'm agreeing with Thunder. And be sure to come back to let us know how it went, OP!
OP here.
Haha, I haven't actually said anything yet. I'm already really embarrassed so I can't bring myself to say it out loud. I already have enough trouble admitting that I have a crush at all.
Well, since it's near the end of the school year, I've been studying really hard for AP tests and other exams, but with this whole deal on my mind I couldn't really concentrate so I told a friend of mine in order to get it off my shoulders. She's quite trustworthy, but I forgot that she has advisory with him, so the conversation went something like this:
Friend: I know someone who likes you~~
Crush: ...Does it start with a <letter>?
Friend: Yeeessss~
Crush: ...Is the second letter a <letter>?
Friend: Yess...
Crush: Does it end with a <letter>?
Friend: ....Yes... Orz
So he pretty much figured it out and she confirmed it for him. I suppose I was being a little obvious, but still I'm quite embarrassed. But at least I didn't have to put him in an uncomfortable position. And a rejection would probably have jeopardized my grades. Since he's been acting completely normal, though, maybe I can put it off until after exams. I know that I'm probably hiding from it all, but whether I get rejected or not, it will still be taking the majority of my thoughts when my future seems to ride on my exam scores.
On the bright side, he talks to me and holds perfectly normal conversations instead of trying to avoid me.
I wish they could edit posts, but they can't, so I have to resort to double posting.
I just want to add that you guys are really awesome for the support, especially when all I want to do is hit myself with a book, a cellphone, and a shoe several times on the head. Thank you guys, sincerely.
Just tell him. Chances are more than likely at least some of your stress will go away. And besides, he either likes you back or if he doesn't, you might become better friends. You don't really have much to lose. Talking to him about it could show you're brave, and in the end, you will most likely gain some courage.
I must be honest here, I was in a situation alike this one, that's why I would like to help miss OP. I had a crush with a friend, and I really wished to tell her that I liked her. She was really beautifull, smart and cute. And I used to be chubby and clumsy at that time, so I had 0% chance to make her my Girlfriend. I acted stalkerly with her, but I never confessed. 6 years of crush made me think of how stupid I was, and finally confessed. She told me I was late, too late. If I would confess earlier she would be my girlfriend, but I acted as an idiot. I never forgived myself because of that. And I wish that miss OP wouldn't either.
I, personally, think that you can get this boy you like, we all wish you do. Don't waste time, just do it. We will cheer you up if needed and give you advice. Our best hope are on you now.
>>25 if you stalked this girl for six years...how old are you now?
I'm 20 now, I was a kid in Primary School at that time. Anyway, let's go back to the main topic, shall we?