Okay, I'm in an interesting situation I think.
I don't really feel like going into the full backstory here so I'll cover the main points.
I've got a job this summer, it's relatively lax and most everyone just stands around chatting. Now I believe one of my co-workers (we're all in university) might be interested in me or at least (and most likely) attracted to me. The thing is, she's not from America. She's from China and apparently arrived not too long ago (4 months or so). Her English strikes me as being fairly good (it's certainly not perfect, but you can hold a decent conversation I think) and she is pretty cute.
The thing is, I've got no idea what to do here. It might be fun to hang out and see where things go or whatever, but I really don't know what to do here. What with her not being from America (or the West for that matter) and, to make matters worse, I've never really been on a date or done anything like that in the first place.
So any ideas here?
Chat with her as often as possible, if you want to ask her on a 'date' don't start off as a date.
Find her interests, and act on it.
Example:
(after a while of talking with her)
You: So, whats your favorite kind of movie
Her: Action, adventure...(etc)
You: Oh yeah, hey there is this action movie thats playing...wanna go see it? (if you want add "My treat!")
Then you guys go to the movies together. You go to various other places under the pretense of 'trying' out restaraunts, looking at interesting things. This will get her used to you outside of a work setting.
After a while it WILL come out as to weather she likes you or not.
I see what you're getting at. It'll be a little more difficult I guess than just being so general like that. What with working around language and cultural barriers (I'm not sure what those would be though). But we'll see. I work with her tomorrow.
Ok, keep me updated.
So she didn't work last week, but worked this week. And she had brought up the question as to whether or not I like Chinese food. I said yes, though somewhat embarassed because I've never had "real" Chinese food. And then she extends the invitation to have me over for dinner, so she can cook Chinese food for me. I agreed, though I think it'll be tough to fit into my schedule this weekend (which sucks).
I have talked to her numerous times between the days where we work together, but I don't know. It's wierd just because I'll be leaving in a month or so and I'm not going to be around for the next year. So even though I think it would be fun to hang out and stuff, test the waters for myself, I don't even know if it would be practical to get into any sort of relationship if I'm going to be leaving at the end June. Which is unfortunate as well what with me have no experience in that area.
That's good. Anyways, watching movie for the first date is the worst idea. If you want to give good impression to the person, you need to show them how funny/cool/etc. you are. So First date should be a place where two people can talk or do like movie and dinner and such. Funny thing is that, I usually take girls(friends) that I know to movies xD(Of course, with friends it's ok)
She likes you. Culturally, she made the best move by asking to cook for you. You should reciprocate by finding something to do relevant to her culture. Once on the actual date, you can ask about movies, etc. (Maybe suggest watching a Chinese movie with English subtitles? This could lead in plenty of interesting directions.) Ask her about her culture and her likes, and it should go well.
(If you need recommendations on Chinese movies, I think the typical martial arts films like Hero, Crouching Tiger, and Daggers would be good, but if you want to be a bit more daring you can take up To Live or Farewell My Concubine for cultural revolution stories or Red Sorghum for a Chinese classic. It's also a good idea to ask her if she likes any of these films. The cultural revolution ones may be hard to watch or offensive, depending on the person.)
Foreigners probably don't come to America to watch foreign movies. I bet she just wants to see Indiana Jones. You have a car? Make sure you keep a frisbee in it. Does she like animals? Maybe she'd want to meet your pets. She's probably taking lots of pictures of everything, offer to take her picture if she does.
Well we're both students. Just at school over the summer (myself, only for half though). Then I'm going to be out of the country for a year. And I am lacking a car, so just about all of those options are out.
And given the short time I have, I'm not looking to necessarily get into a relationship, but the other sort of experience helps. In a small way I see it as getting my foot in the door for the whole relationship buisness. A good confidence builder too. Plus she's a really nice girl to boot. But anyways, I have dinner with her tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.
You should just try to spend as much time as you can with her. Make sure you are able to talk to her on the phone/Computer, and you do that. That way you two can get used to communicating in other ways that one. Just be a REALLY good guy to her. After this, you'll have your foot in the metaphorical relationship door.
Well I know it's been a while but I went on 3 or 4 dates with her (the first dinner got pushed back a bit). Had a great time. Went on a couple of walks together afterward. Then on my last night in town she told me she liked me and we kissed. It was strange, awkward, wonderful and, given the circumstances, somewhat bitter.
>>11
So it's been two months since your last news, so are you guys still together? I'm just saying that it wouldn't hurt to make the most of your time right now, though if either of you couldn't bear to grow apart (should you really move) then I guess you just have to cross over that bridge when you get there. ^_^
Turns out, that was the end. I'm not sad about, not happy about it either I guess. It was a good experience, interesting to say the least, and I can strike many things off of my list of "must do"s.
I left, we didn't really keep in touch, and sort of fell out of contact. I don't think I could've kept with it for that long due to many other things that came up, but again, it was interesting.
Conclusion: if you're white, foreign Asian girls will go for you. No matter how creepy or horrible you are/look. If you're also Asian, whether or not you're a twinkie (me), no matter what sort of person you are, you're SOL.