Hmm... (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 04:25 ID:WOuHU65Q

Do you ever wonder if you're with the right person? I mean, I'm in a loving relationship, and he's everything I could have ever wanted, but sometimes I get these homosexual temptations to be with a chick, and I dunno how to feel about that. I really don't think I can go through my entire life without at least having sex with a woman, so how should I feel?

I'm in love...but is this love right for me?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 04:40 ID:5qtx6WNk

It's normal. If you're going to fuck a chick, though, make sure he either doesn't find out or doesn't care.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 11:56 ID:ZBODEWWH

Don't mistake desire and fantasms for love.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 12:56 ID:4mJGZp19

You could tell him about it. He'll probably think it's hot and/or encourage your desire to explore.

From what I've seen, most guys are understanding about this sort of thing (especially if they find it hot).

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 13:34 ID:edP0xyEN

You don't mention whether are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend, so are you? in the same way as you are/have been to chicks? If not, its quite possible it's the wrong relationship for you. If you are, well, then maybe you are bisexual, however assuming you are in a monogomous relationship, you shouldn't cheat on your partner.

If being with a chick seems like something important to you, then maybe it is important, and you should act accordingly, whether that be ditching your boyfriend and finding a chick or just suggesting an open relationship, be aware that if you have outside relations, it is also fair that he does.

Also, you say "at least having sex" so has having a romantic relationship with a chick also crossed your mind? or what else was it that crossed your mind? I guess you should ask yourself these questions, since it's you that has to come up with your own answer...

Last of all, us readers really have no idea what your definition of love is, its really subjective, this makes it difficult to give any real constructive answers..

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 16:59 ID:FMKp/lax

Just because you have sexual fantasies/needs that aren't fullfilled by the person you're with, doesn't mean they're not the right person for you. It's entirely unrelated.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 17:48 ID:Heaven

I want to rape a chick.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 20:19 ID:WOuHU65Q

OP here:

Well, he knows that I'm bi, and that I have these desires to interact with a woman, and that we would talk about it if ever a situation should come about. But like...I don't think I'd be comfortable about it even then. I don't want to cheat on him. I love him. I really don't think I can go on in my life without him by my side after being together for such a long time, yet, my main attraction is towards women, and I only really think about them outside of my normal thoughts.

And yes, I have romantically wanted to be with a woman before, but I always crush on straight chicks so that whole angle doesn't really work for me either.

I like where I'm a right now in my life. I have someone that really cares about me. However, how can I get my mind to shut off these ideals so it will stop bugging me?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 21:13 ID:9U4msWat

>>8

>my main attraction

So your boyfriend isn't your main attraction? That's the problem right there. You need to either break up and pursue your fantasy main attraction, or MAKE him your main attraction. You might also want to sit down and think REALLY hard about what your main attraction really is, and specific reasons why.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 21:33 ID:edP0xyEN

>>8

You may be able to deal with it now, but over time its going to get difficult for you and possibly more difficult for your boyfriend.

You should think about whether you really love your boyfriend? or has he become some safe, warm, kind of compainionship? it is possible to depend on someone without actually being in love with them. Perhaps you love him as a best friend would, well you need to work that out for yourself.

..I think you should be pursuing your ideals, and letting your boyfriend do the same, letting him find someone that thinks of him as their main attraction.

Last of all, you probably crush on straight chicks because you don't know many gay/bisexual ones, maybe go out and meet some, there are probably gay/bisexual orientated clubs near you, have a look at whats around.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 23:00 ID:Heaven

>>8
Find another bi girl and have a threesome!
Win-win-win situation!

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 20:14 ID:WOuHU65Q

OP here:

By main attraction, I meant which sex I preferred, not anything else.

And I have thought about this since the last time I posted, and I have also talked with my boyfriend on the issue and I've come to a conclusion. He told me that we would have a long discussion should I come in contact with any woman that I was sexually attracted to and wanted to interact with, and that's fine with me. Knowing that he would let me at least unleash that aspect of my sexually is fine, and that's all I really want.

I also realized that I wish to stay with my boyfriend instead of leaving him for a woman. I've realized that I only am slightly more sexually attracted to females, but once I saw my boyfriend, my eyes couldn't get off of him. He really IS my main attraction. I'm truly in love with him, and not just in a best friend kind of matter.

What do you guys think of this conclusion?

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