Dropping hints across phone/IM (24)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 04:40 ID:AQXtRKOr

Hey there Secret Admirer,

I have a friend about 4 hours away from me who I've begun to waves hand, trying to think of a good word uh, grow closer to, I guess you could say. True, we rarely see each other, but when we do we have fun. It's been 6 months since I last saw her, but lately we've been talking a lot more via AIM and phone... heck, we've done a couple of talk all nights via phone, and she often is the one to call me. But, I digress...

Basically, what I'm wondering is... how does one drop "hints" or make subtle flirts while chatting on AIM or on the phone? I am good at flirting and making a move IRL, but without the ability to make facial expressions, body contact, or read/enunciate inflections of my/her voice, it's very hard to flirt. Any ideas on what to say/do while on IM or phone that could help me drop a hint/figure out her interest level?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 05:56 ID:uixT9XoX

Say things like, it's only fun to be online when you on, things like that.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 05:59 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>2
Oh come now, that's just sappy. I'm thinking smooth and subtle, not gushy or wussy (or creepy).

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 19:51 ID:kH4ZfwJ4

"Babe, the way you type is so sexy, it makes me take off my socks."

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 21:32 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>4
Hahahahaha

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 22:40 ID:JtBwF8MO

All of this is fun, Anonymous never forgives, and so on, but actual hint ideas? I'm terrible at this "hinting" girly stuff. Poast ideas.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 22:47 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>6
Yeah, seriously though, help me think of very subtle, teasing "hints" that will get her wondering, will help me gauge her interest level, and add a bit of tension to it all...

Like I said, I'm pretty good at this IRL, but through IM or phone, it's hard to communicate certain signals...

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 02:08 ID:6t1idart

Use words and sentences that might be interpreted as innuendos. Use them often.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 03:55 ID:42sxrh+f

flirt the same way that you might IRL.

Banter, if you can. It's hard without the inflections, but, if you keep at it, hopefully she'll catch on.

Why don't you give an example of what you usually talk about? That would help.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 19:36 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>8
Ehhh... I've found from experience that unless you're looking for a fuck, those are a bit crude. I use innuendos when I'm trying to get laid, not court.

>>9
Politics, philosophy, music, religion, and our own personal lives... smart lass.

Also, I banter all the time with her, and she finds it very funny- but where to go from there? How does one... turn the heat up just a little?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 20:24 ID:dfQl3X7i

Make use of italics, capitals, and proper punctuation to add proper inflection to your sentences. That way, you can make the same clever drifts that you would use irl conversation.
Also, play on words. A lot.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 20:33 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>11
Yes, I tend to type in IM as I would as, say, I were writing dialogue within a book. It's something people should really keep in mind during IM and message boards!

Play on words... yes, yes, I already do that, but I think turning it up a notch might help me. I've been starting to give her more compliments lately, and she appreciates that, but I make sure to not make it gushy or approval-seeking.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 20:37 ID:dfQl3X7i

Good. I'm not sure if it works for everyone, but I tend to use supposition a lot in my flirting. "I would do this, if you were interested, but..."
Ans if she says, "Well, you can," then you win.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 20:58 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>13
That's just a bit too overt. It also sounds wussy. "I'd love to date you, but (sigh)". C'mooooon.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-25 03:40 ID:rVWScPy2

It's hard to give proper advice because this is all very general, and OP seems to be looking for specific things to do/say.

Um...post sample conversation, maybe, and we can offer lines you could say/could have said?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-26 13:49 ID:2kqeJPhk

There is room for alot of misinterpretation online.
Sure bet is to do it in person.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-27 21:50 ID:AjQ8r7/7

Hm, what about telling her that you really miss her, that you really like her company, travel where she is and invite her somewhere, and then make your move irl? If you have no problems at all in IRL, maybe that's where you should be working. Unless she is in Cuba or something.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-27 22:21 ID:JtBwF8MO

>>16
There's room for a lot of misinterpretation IRL. Some guys aren't good at this "signals" bullshit.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-29 01:20 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>17
Meh, I'm probably going up their late June/July. I'll just wait until then, and then... (rubs hands) Then things get might get... interesting.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-29 14:13 ID:2kqeJPhk

>>18
IRL there is sight, touch, sound. There is less room for misinterpretation. Unless you're thick as a brick and need to use emoticons to clarify emotions. Take for example a situation where a guy calls a girl cute (or vice versa):

Online
Him: your so cute..
Her: heHeEh..faNx ^_____^ ur so swt!

IRL
Him: Affectionately looks at her "You're so cute."
Her: Blushes

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-30 14:24 ID:08FmCb81

>>20
Blushing could be out of pure embarrassment, or it could be because she really likes the guy. So already we have a problem of not knowing which. And this is a more basic problem. More commonly, women give off mixed signals which say yes and no at the same time, and depending on which ones you pick up, you either fail or win. I usually pick up either neither or both at the same time.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-31 04:15 ID:AQXtRKOr

>>20
I would never say such a thing directly though; that just sounds desperate, cliche, and sappy.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-31 14:49 ID:2kqeJPhk

>>21, >>22

Regardless whether it's sappy or not, my point still stands. You get to see her real reaction, not just words on a screen that have no credibility. You don't know who is on the other side of that screen, if you get my drift. I got asked out to lunch by a friend online, and at the time I thought we were literally going out for lunch. I didn't realise it was a date, and soon, a whole lot of awkwardness and fast apologies ensued. A major misinterpretation which probably would have never happened irl. So frankly, if you're that bad at picking up signals irl, I don't see how it could be any better online.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-04 04:56 ID:oiM+m49a

Answer to problem = "O hai, I likes joo. Does joo likes?"

or "Hey, I really like ___ about you, and feel comfortable when we talk, but I want more than what we are right now." (Pause.)

If she says nothing or nothing supportive of the idea of a relationship, but not against one, then say:

"How does going to __ around __(time) the next time we meet up sound?" followed by "It's a good movie"/"I'm told it's a great place to eat with __(to eat)."

It should go well.

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