I finally went out with a girl I've been interested in for a couple of weeks. Afterward, she tells me that she's a pre-op transsexual. She also got angry with me because she misinterpreted something I said, and is now ignoring me.
Take this as a lesson: no matter how bad your relationship story might be, it's not going to top this one.
Are you serious? You dated a transexual and didn't realize it?
Shrug "Dated" is a bit of a strong term, but yes, that's pretty much the long and the short of it.
In my defense, she's been on hormones for 10 years. Still...
No offense, but that sounds like my dream date XD! hmmm
Lol, it's a tarp! You didn't listen to Commander Ackbar! What about Adam's Apple?
On a more serious question, how do you feel about h... it? Would you still date/love this person? Downgrade to friendship? Never talk again? What will you do? At least you should try to mend things and stay as friends, I think.
Well, that's the thing. I told her friend that I felt a little manipulated because she waited to tell me, and they both completely misinterpreted what I said and are now ignoring me.
As for how I feel? That's a good question. I'm extremely open-minded about these things, so I really don't mind too much about this. On the other hand, it throws all kinds of questions about my sexual identity in the air. If her and her friend hadn't gone out of their way to ignore me, I think I would have still been good friends at least. The only honest answer I can give, >>5, is I don't know.
She? Her? It's still a fucking guy you know, and personally I would've laughed my fucking ass off if I were in your shoes. And then I would've asked; "What the hell were you thinking?"
>>6
If it helps, I don't think you've caught the gay. You identified that person as a woman, therefore you were after the features of the opposite sex. It's not your fault it was a trap.
And if you can still identify that person as a woman, and have a twisted sense of guts, then I guess you could still consider you straight if you keep your relationship with that person. (Having a penis or not is pretty much irrelevant, BTW.) But I can imagine how fucked up it could feel, so I wouldn't think it unreasonable to tell that person to forget about you, or to stay as friends.
If anyone's at fault, it's that person, who didn't tell you the truth from the start. It was a deliberate trap. Things like "I have a peenor" or "I'm married lol" need to be told beforehand.
man... n... i cant say anything. I cant even clown on ya man. That just plain sucks! If I could Id buy ya a beer. Thats he only thing that comes to mind. Lol.
It could always be worse.
You could have fucked her up the ass and not known her secret, and bragged to all your friends the next day.
Then the truth comes out and you're socially ostracized and you get your test result back and you've got AIDS.
Give us the gory details OP. What part of her caught your eye?
how many times do I have to say this?
D E T A I L S P L Z
this is relevant to my interests.
>>11 yeah, and then s/he could of mutilated his penis in anger or something.
if she's been taking hormones for 10 years now her dick is probably useless, no risk of her trying to fuck you. if you like her i say go for it. if you didn't notice anything wrong (and you like her, wich means you pay more attention to her than normal people) probably nobody else will.
>>6 hey man, I honestly don't think its a big deal, your reaction was probably understandable in the situation, try apologising once they've cooled down a bit, just make sure they know it's a situation you are not used to, you were surprised didn't know how to act and you are very sorry for they way you acted and would like a second chance, for friendship at least.
The reason they were avoiding you is probably they are highly sensitive to rejection and being hurt by people who have found out and didn't take it as well as you might've, its awesome that your an open-minded person, but they don't necessarily understand that, they might be just assuming worst case scenario without giving you a chance. SO if you want to be friends etc you needa give them an extra chance to understand that you actually like them, want to get to now them better or whatever.
Slight, yet not unappealing breasts?
Toned, slim legs?
Nice defined chin?
Sorry about the delayed response, guys.
>>8: Honestly, I'm not too concerned about arbitrary labels. I usually refer to a person the way they wish to be referred, as a courtesy. It doesn't matter to me whether you call the person he, she, or it. We all know what we're talking about, here.
>>9: That does make me feel better, although I'm not as upset by this as you might think. I have a friend that's transgendered (coincidence) and a brother that's gay, so this isn't exactly uncharted territory for me.
My main issue with this whole situation is exactly what you said: I feel that she should have been completely up front about this. I'm sure she had her reasons (among them... she's been married before, to start with), but yes, it was wrong to not say something right away.
The main problem is that when I pointed this out to a friend of hers, it was completely misinterpreted (see above).
>>10: Thanks, man. I appreciate that.
>>11, >>15: That... certainly puts things in perspective.
>>12, >>13, >>14, >>18: Not much to tell. We didn't exactly date, I just grabbed a coffee with her and her friend. Afterwards, we went back to our own places, and she decided to tell me then.
>>16: Very likely to be true. Chances are, though, that I'm not even going to be seeing this person again, let alone "seeing" her. Even if I did, I think I'd probably just be friends. I'm open-minded (see above), but that's not what I'm interested in.
>>17: Very smart advice. Who knows, you might even be right.
>>19: Erm... yeah, pretty much.
I think your problem was the word "manipulated", if that's what you used, because it makes it sound like you're offended she's a trans. You should apologize, saying you didn't realize it at the time, and say you meant that you felt offended because of a lack of trust.