Ok so any advice, espesially from the male set would be great!!
so last summer i worked out at a camp and met this great guy, we talked all the time and hung out alot, and were even a little flirty. and i ended up developing a bug time crush on him. then the summer ends and he heads of to Europe for 6 months, the first 3 months are great and we are talking all the time.uses phrasing like miss you too, love you more. or ending letters with love you. Then the fourth and 5 month we dont talk at all because he goes into countries he cant get at the interweb from. month 6 we are talking and he says how excited he is to hang out again, its going to be great cant wait to see me.
then the week he gets back i hear nothing... second week nothng,... which i figure is fine he needs time to settle in. I got out 45 min to visit him during week two after we finally get in touch, and i basically feel like i got ignored the whole time. and on top of it he gave my back a bracelet i had made him that summer, saying we wanted me to have it cause it had been all over the world with him. but in my brain at the time i was thinking.... WTF i gave that to you. i ended up crying and he asked if i was i told him no i just wasn't feeling good that day.
then came the total silence... we have talked maybe.... 4 or 5 times in the last two months, down from the 4 -5 times a week like before.
Then he comes out to the camp and i am working at with some mutual friends. and its not like he didn't know i was here because i told everyone and had notices posted on my webpage. so he shows up and while it is a little awkward at first we fall right back into what it was like before... hugging and flirting, and laughing and being losers.
i thought that i was finally over him after i hadn;t heard from him in forever but now him showing up and acting like he did before makes my heart hurt so bad!!
WTF is going on with him??
i think him giving you the bracelet back.. bc it's been with him all over the world is kinda sweet of him! perhaps he thinks he's doing sth sweet, while you don't think so, and want him to wear it. if it really bothers you that much, you should tell him about it and give it back to him.
It was awkward when you met up after him getting back from Europe because you had months of "love you/love you more!" kinda behaviour without any actual contact, so when you meet up in real life it's like you two are still physically awkward with each other while in your heads you've got all these words and you don't know if it's OK to use those words in physical contact.
Talk to him about all this, be open with him, for a fucking change. If you've been all sweet-hearty with eachother you have every justification to ask if there's something going on. Would it kill you to tell him how you feel, and ask him what he feels?
Yeah looking back now, i can see that it was actually a really sweet thing to do, and i have gotton over it. and i feel completely stupid for getting my gaunch all in a knot over it.
lol, while that was completely blunt i am pretty sure i totally deserved that. i know i should be honest and open with him, i am just so afraid that i might be wrong. I have never had a boyfriend or been asked out, except once as a joke. So while i know its not going to kill me i am scared shitless and have no idea how to even broach the subject. Any advice?
Ok so, i think the consensus is just suck it up and say something but does anyone have any advice on how to do this??
I am 20, and have never had a boyfriend, or even asked out for that matter. Except this one total jerk i knew who asked me out as a joke. but anyway, i have no idea how to ask a guy out.
i mean we are friends so if its a turn down then besides feeling like a tool there is a chance i could wreck the friendship, or if mutual friends find out and it fails...... gah!!!
>>7
Looks like he doesn't talk to you that much lately anyway. You might as well go for it.
Lol, weird i was in the same situation as you. I chose to go with the flow and accept her. We went out alot of times,almost were a couple but her bitchy attitude (like your guy) got to me. What i'm saying is, you might end up having an "unhealthy relationship". IF you don't want to be with him,i suggest cutting all your ties (friendship too) because otherwise you will end up going in circles (like you do now).
Or do what i did and find out.
lol but what do i say!!
"hello... good talking to you again... btw i really like you.. as more then a friend... have for a really long time... just thought i would throw that out there "
lol i know me that is what would happen!!!
i know what you mean... its just so hard.
there are times when its just like... good lord you piss me off, but then there are days where i cant imagine how i could have ever lived without knowing him
>"hello... good talking to you again... btw i really like you.. as more then a friend... have for a really long time... just thought i would throw that out there "
Perfect. Say it witha laugh, not like it's something horrible.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
thanks guys that was totally not the response i was expecting to get from you!!!
we will see... i am not sure when i am going to see him next but i will keep you posted...
but another question before i jet..
Better in person or online???
>>13
I say person!
If you ask online, seeing him afterward irl may be a bit awkward at first but in person the awkwardness seems to go away almost immediately.
In person, definitely. Otherwise you will have the same awkward situation lke you had after his abscence: big words in your head, but no physical contact.
In person. Definitely.
thanks guys you rock!!!
>>17
No problem! Good luck and keep us posted!
Just to throw something in here; the whole him not talking a lot for a few months may have been because he had other stuff to figure out. He may also find it somewhat awkward to ask you out to do things, but is fine when you're going to be around each other normally.
mini update:
k so i haven't told him yet, but through a series of very strange events it came to some mutual friends of ours that i liked him. and it would seem that they had no idea and they said i was really good at hiding it... THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!
i mean i dont exactly want to be screaming I LOVE YOU at him, but at the same time i thought there was some idea out there that i was interested.
So here is a question:
How do i let him know that i am interested without yelling at him
>>19
i never thought about it that way!
that would explain ALOT!!!
Update:
i recently made friends with a mutual friend of the guy i like, and she and i have been talking alot since we met. turns out she has been pretty jilted in the past year. So her way of cheering herself up is to find a new guy to like. The problem is she THINKS she likes the same guy i like, but not only that she also like THREE OTHER GUYS!!! and she is flirting with all of them!!
Number one this totally pisses me off, who "LIKES" four guys at the same time, one of the others being the guy i likes brother. and she is flirting with all of them. plus she seems him about 80% more then i do!!!
What the hell do i do?? i am not ready to pop the statement yet!!!
Don' worry about it, some people are just like that (it also applies to males).
Also, just because she flirts with all of them it doesn't mean that they'll correspond.
And finally:
>i recently made friends with a ...
why do you even call her a friend?, it doesn't seem to be the case
>why do you even call her a friend?, it doesn't seem to be the case
i guess just cause we have been fine on all other fronts, talking about life and school and junk, and other then acting like a total hussy i have nothing against her.
>Also, just because she flirts with all of them it doesn't mean that they'll correspond.
true story