One of my best mates hooked in with a girl i used to like last night in front of me. Of course, he didnt know i used to like her and i thought i was over her so everything should be ok. But its bothered me more than i thought it would. Im not angry at him or anything but its put a huge hole in my ego and drive to do anything.

the thing that shits me with this is that why would she choose him of all people? i know i sound like a selfish jealous asshole for saying this about a really good friend but hes the type of guy who will just use her. he lives for the next drink and the next girl he finds to put his cock in. its blatantly obvious too even around females. yet they are attracted to him.

ive heard the whole alpha male vs nice guy shit before and i believe it because its unfortunately true. however its so fucking illogical in so many ways. why would a girl want someone who willingly treats them like shit so they can come running to me or other decent guys to cry on. im fucking sick of it. they complain and whinge about their useless fucking boyfriends and say that they want to leave them but never go ahead and do it. its fuckign bullshit. then you get the ones who ask you why you dont have a girlfriend and you dont have an answer. it makes you feel so fucking useless and worthless.

all my relationships in the past have turned to shit and half of them werent even that serious anyway. ive been single for 2 years now and its gotten to the point where im not willingly single anymore. now its at that point in my life where everyone is starting to pair off and im that other guy who comes to dinner without a date. i now how to meet people, but the problem is that the only people i meet arent single. it shits me to tears. im sick of going out to pubs/clubs too, in my experiences the only women single at them my age are sluts which im not into.

it seems im doomed to a life of solitude

/rant