Do girls have it easier, or do guys? (32)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 03:09 ID:DoE417zF

Guys come up to me all the time and complain about how much easier it is for girls for a lot of things. One of them even specifically told me, "Except for periods, girls have it really easy." I got really mad at that and ended up having a large debate with him on whether the social pressures on men and women were unbalanced or not.

Now, this has me wondering, how many of you actually think girls really have it easy? I can tell you a hundred reasons why it is NOT easy to be a girl, but I want to know everyone's opinions. Think of it as a little survey.

So, tell me what gender you are, which gender you think has it easier, whether on terms of romance/attraction or of just life in general, and why you think that is.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 04:31 ID:L/Pzob8t

For both genders it's pretty hard, but I think each gender has a different type of social pressure affecting them and that's why it seems so easy. Guys are suppose to be dominate and avoid showing emotion which can be mistaken for confidence and allow certain things to be done with ease and girls are suppose to be dainty and passive so they're coddled and taken care of more often. We often don't recognize this because we only see in context of our own experiences.

tldr; Both genders are just different, neither of them has it easier

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 04:53 ID:FVdVSqvL

>>2 has got it

4 Name: 43 : 2008-06-10 08:24 ID:HJdjMxw1

Male here

Girls have it easier:

-They don't have to (are not expected to) make the first move nor to propose marriage, they just have to say yes or no.
-Female homosexuality doesn't carry such a great stigma as male homosexuality
-In a divorce the female has a greater chance to get the kids just for being female
-It is easier for females to get sympathy from people, either males or females
-As male people look down on you if your partner has a better job or earns more, as female people don't care
-Females get ~3 months off from work when they give birth, a male who want to spend time with his newborn doesn't get shit (in most places)

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 13:11 ID:FVdVSqvL

Some counterpoints:

Women get maternity leave so that they can take care of their child and recover from CHILDBIRTH. Men aren't expected to bear children, they don't spend 9 months being pregnant, all they have to do is spit out the seed.

Female has greater chance to get the children in a divorce because a female is always expected to take care of her children, even if they're a financial burden. Men have no such obligations in society when it comes to their children, they can get a girl pregnant and just leave her. Sure, there's child support, but sending a check every month or so (and that's assuming he doesn't dodge it) which is nothing compared to the mental/emotional tasks of raising a child. If a young woman gets pregnant without being ready for a child, it ruins her entire life. Men can just fuck and leave.

People don't care if a man earns more because even in this day and age men STILL have higher salaries than women.

Guys who sleep with a lot of girls = stud, player, cool asshole
Girls who sleep with a lot of guys = whore

Women are pressured to be thin and pretty. In media, men act and women appear - that is, a man is defined only by what he does and a woman is defined by her image, her appearance. A woman's value is linked to how good she looks. ( I could elaborate on this further but it's tl;dr)

I don't disagree with many of your points, 43, but it's not like omg girls have it easier.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 14:03 ID:gjaYaXnq

>>5
You have your points, but:

>all they have to do is spit out the seed

Yet most guys will always wonder what it feels like to bear a child.

Also women have the final word in deciding in keeping the child or not, whether the father wants him or not.

Then,
Girls who don't sleep with a lot of guys and are faithful and nice and attentionate = great girl
Guys who don't sleep with a lot a girls etc etc = nice guy syndrom

>People don't care if a man earns more because even in this day and age men STILL have higher salaries than women.

The second part of the sentence is certainly true, but is not the reason for the first part.

>Women are pressured to be thin and pretty. In media, men act and women appear {...)

But men are pressured to be muscular and such. And with modern societies, this tends to get amplified and starts to extend to body cosmetics and such. There is also high stigma regarding judging girls due to post-feminism era (not that guys don't do it) but girls are also rather unforgiving. But I agree, overall looks are more important for girls.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 15:09 ID:VPyJ3xV2

>>6

> Yet most guys will always wonder what it feels like to bear a child.

What the.. Okay, assume this is true, I don't think this goes anything beyond curiosity. I doubt most guys would have a desire to bear a child. I'm sure they also wonder what it feels like to have boobs, but they wouldn't actually want them.

Guys who don't sleep with a lot of girls and are faithful and nice and affectionate = great guy
Girls who don't sleep with a lot a guys etc etc = frigid

> ..overall looks are more important for girls.

Indeed. Women don't just cop criticism for their physical appearance from their male counterparts, but also from fellow women. And whilst men are "pressured to be muscular and such", the fact of the matter is that they're judged by personality as well as physical appearance. A girl with a great personality, but average looks will definitely not have the same "success" as a guy with a great personality and average looks.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 15:29 ID:gjaYaXnq

>>7

>Guys who don't sleep with a lot of girls and are faithful and nice and affectionate = great guy who, sadly, is very less likely to get a girlfriend than his asshole counterpart

Sad, but true. And I'm not talking about party girls or whatever.

>Okay, assume this is true, I don't think this goes anything beyond curiosity.

Curiosity for one of the things that is usually defined as the most bonding and beautiful experience ever. (ok, I'm not talking about the inconvenients and symptoms; I'll assume that if you want the good you take the bad).

>A girl with a great personality, but average looks will definitely not have the same "success" as a guy with a great personality and average looks.

Yes, it's true. And there goes the pressure to be the "alpha male", and such. Just look around the board to have examples of guys who are great but are suffocated, and thus desperate.

It's a different kind of pressure, but it's one after all, and sometimes forces people to redefine themselves to just stand a chance.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 16:22 ID:H2sqyWHK

OP i feel that you are only looking at this from your own perspective. There are tonnes of other females out there that would think differently on many of the issues you have presented.

I would like to talk about the perspectives from males in general, and the general pressures we have both sexually, socially and in relationships.

Firstly, in relationships males have no power. They constantly seek out the womens approval; they seek a nice looking mate, engage in flirtatious behavior in order to see if she responds in a positive or negative way (seeking approval). Traditionally men do all the work in relationships; we make the first move, we arrange the first date, we propose, we (traditionally) do the work to get the income etc. Although this is true, in todays changing society there has been what I think is a positive trend where it has become acceptable for women to do this also. They can now work and initiate the first move etc, however i believe there is much more pressure on men to do this than women.

My second point is that in relationships women seem to want to be with asshole men who treat them like shit. I'm sure that many of the people in this thread have heard of the term nice guy (which was mentioned earlier). "Nice guys" are apparently what women want. Women tend to whine and complain to their male friends about how bad their boyfriend is and how they should break up with them but never do. This is erratic illogical behavior. Meanwhile, the nice guy listening to all of this bullshit will be sitting there as the women describes a man she would want to be with, which fits the "nice guy" persona. Also erratic and illogical behavior. This is cannot explain but it has frustrated genuine guys to no end and thus i see it as an unfair pressure in todays society for men and thus put it in this post.

I might also like to add:

>A woman's value is linked to how good she looks.

and the size of a man's penis determines (to an extent) how well he performs in bed.

Sexual pressures on men today are immense both from male peers and female partners. Guys from their teenage years are expected from their male counterparts to get sex and women. If they don't however, some are seen as losers who cannot get a girl regardless of what other psychological issues may be in place. Also, in teenage years it is fairly obvious that all males get into conversations about the length of their penis. Having a small penis in comparison to other males is very daunting at this age and the social pressures that arise can cause serious problems regarding psychological impotence (another thing i am about to talk about). My point is, women aren't judged on the size of their vagina, and it seems that the fact that men are judged on the size of their penis is extremely unfair; it is something that we have no control of.

Another point is impotence. Pressures to perform well in bed are other issues that men of ALL ages face. Unlike females who just have to lay there and take it (if she is particularly boring in bed) males have to get an erection. In most male lives they will come to a point where (due to unknown psychological/physical reasons) they will be unable to get an erection. This is extremely frustrating and embarrassing for men and can lead to further problems such as "performance anxiety". Performance anxiety is a disorder where due to psychological problems regarding previous sexual mis-performances there is too much pressure on males to perform well in sex and thus it prevents them from having erections. This can continue for a long time. In some cases therapy is needed to cure it.

Speaking of erections, sometimes unlike in the cases above, men can have unexplained random erections in any situation. This is also very embarrassing and frustrating for males as you can imagine. Unlike females, we cannot hide it when we are aroused.

tl;dr: males have it unfair in the categories of sex, social pressures and in relationships.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 17:31 ID:SDlQP6SH

Girls have it easier because they're fucking retarded.
Guys got it harder when they have wood
there, discussion closed

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 18:29 ID:DoE417zF

OP here. I seemed to have sparked another heated debate. It wasn't exactly my intention, only to see what others thought, not trying to change anyone's views. As such I had refrained from stating my own opinion at the beginning. >>9, the only issue I presented was the "period" deal and that was siding with males. Other than that, anything else in this thread was entirely NOT me. And I am most definitely not looking at only my own perspective, since I'm here right now trying to see what others think about this. Most of my friends are men, in fact, and since I listen to their complaints everyday I was more than inclined to agree with >>2, who stated my beliefs exactly.

>>9 also writes only in terms of relationships, and fails to consider the severe social pressures on females as well as men. Sure, men are pressured to have a lot of sex and a lot of girls, but just as much women are expected to not say a word about anything; if any sexual relationships are revealed at all, that girl would be considered a slut and a whore. Women aren't expected to perform well in bed because they shouldn't be doing anything in the first place. I do agree with you in a lot of what you say (except for women having erratic, illogical behavior) but when you say that you look at the situation generally you end up siding entirely with males and hardly any look at what females have.

tl;dr: It doesn't really matter whether you read what I said or not. I would still like to see everyone's opinions with an unbiased view, so please continue.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-10 18:48 ID:fvGVq3sa

All I know is that women have it far easier when it comes to claims of sexual harassment.

Women's claims of sexual harassment at the hands of men are investigated aggressively. Punishment for the accused occasionally happens even prior to the collection and review of evidence. I've experienced this myself, having been falsely accused once before.

However, when I was sexually harassed, and occasionally molested, by both male and female classmates over the course of several years at school, I was told by every administrator I met that I should suck it up and grow a pair.

Not statistically representative samples, I agree, but that's what I know.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-11 01:04 ID:Heaven

>>12
This, sadly, is absolutely true. But that's because our society, traditionally (this comes from a survival behaviour in the first place) tends to be protective towards women (child-bearers), and needs men to be "strong" to defend the "tribe".

14 Name: 43 : 2008-06-11 11:52 ID:udLTGHL2

>I doubt most guys would have a desire to bear a child

I do

>>12

True indeed.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-11 16:00 ID:tgoi/bls

Each gender had its own issues and difficulties, and they can't really be objectively measured as more or less difficult.

For men:
-They are expected to maintain a cool, stoic attitude. A guy who shows his feelings all the time is called a wuss.
-Men work the most dangerous jobs (Construction, police, Army, etc)
-They are expected to be the breadwinners, not only putting food on the table but doing the physical labor around the house.
-Men have become subject to objectification in media. Topless male models are popping up everywhere. There is little outcry though, because men are expected to deal with it.
-Men constantly face rejection at every turn of the dating world.
-Men are often treated suspiciously. If a man is walking through a park alone, or standing in a dark alley, people tend to assume the worst.
-The traditional school structure is more oriented towards girls than boys.

For women:
-Women are expected to be passive and not voice their opinions. Women who express themselves are "bitches"
-Women are expected to be clean and tidy, to shave their legs and armpits, to hide their period, and wear make-up.
-Women are looked down upon in public, and assumed to be less intelligent.
-Women go through great pains to bear and deliver a child. Being a single mother is an extremely demanding job.
-Women who have very active sex lives are shunned and called "sluts"
-Women can be extremely vicious towards one another. Almost every woman has experienced passive-aggressive behavior and friends that "betrayed" them

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-12 10:08 ID:EeARtAXC

Can't say since they're not entirely the same (men and women).

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-12 12:47 ID:7r5ywZf3

>>15
/thread

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-12 17:10 ID:hcol4cvS

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-13 22:22 ID:7XBPDmKY

>>15

>Women are looked down upon in public, and assumed to be less intelligent.

Sad but true. I often wonder if people will assume I'm stupid just by looking at me.

20 Name: Admirable Secret : 2008-06-14 10:05 ID:zGdxv4SP

Guys have it a LOT harder than girls do, no question about it. The fact that it's consider anathema to even MENTION the POSSIBILITY that a man has it tougher than a woman in today's society only serves to prove my point.

Take a police situation, for instance. A male police officer has to walk on tiptoes around a female. He can't search her. He can't take her down unless absolutely necessary. A woman can scream and cuss all she wants at a cop and is more often than not shown a great deal of leeway. A guy even LOOKS at a cop in a vaguely menacing way, and he's down on the ground in cuffs.

Or if a woman claims that a man raped/assaulted/robbed her. Chances are, the guy is going to jail, even if he never came near her.

Women are allowed to express emotion. Men are considered weak if they do. We feel the same damned things you do, but we're forced to repress those things.

I STRONGLY disagree with a previous poster that claims that women are perceived as "less intelligent." Women are constantly portrayed as the "smarter" sex by the media (see commercials and sitcoms, particularly), even though it's been statistically proven that adult men are, on average, smarter than adult women by approximately 4 IQ points with a greater tendency toward spatial reasoning and mathematics. While this is an obvious appeal to the profitable 25-54 year old female demographic (which spends the majority of the spendable money in a household), it's still disgusting.

The list goes on, but I want to stop this at a mild rant rather than go into a full-blown speech.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 01:15 ID:1SbfLOAj

>>12

Sorry about what happened to you.
I'm female, I was sexually harassed too and I reported it the college but nobody believed me; they just laughed and the college folk didn't even bother to ask the guy for his side of the story. They just totally ignored it. I only reported him to save other girls but that didnt work. Oh well a girl is gonna get totally raped by him in the future 'cause of me :(

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 08:29 ID:EeARtAXC

Girls have the advantage, I mean it's as simple as society tending to expect more from the men.

An absurd example would be a man with a sugar mommy and a woman with a sugar daddy. Who's worse? Yeah, the one with the sugar mommy.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 08:30 ID:Heaven

Girls can be weak and it would be okay but guys, naaaaah...

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 11:00 ID:4haLlw8M

I didn't even read your post, OP, because I can answer it simply by having read the title.

Neither girls nor boys have it better than the other in any absolute sense. Girls have many problems to deal with, and they depend on a many factors, not least of which is the culture and society in which you live. Likewise, boys also have many problems to deal with, which similarly depend on many factors, not least of which is the culture and society in which you live.

But those are just details. The point is, neither of the two assertions

"Boys have it better than girls"
"Girls have it better than boys"

is correct. They are both false, because each is an all-encompassing, universal, absolute statement. It should be obvious that no gender has it better than the other in all cultures, at all times, and in all possible situations.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 11:00 ID:4haLlw8M

That said, boys are totally superior because they can pee while standing up.

Girls don't know what they're fucking missing. Seriously.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 11:52 ID:H2sqyWHK

>>25 /thread

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 12:56 ID:gjaYaXnq

>>25
I know girls who pee while standing.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-24 04:19 ID:tyhxvQ+3

I can totally pee while standing. Although my sister calls it hover crafting...

(Psst, thank you, >24! As OP, I agree with you 100%! Or, well, maybe 90% or something...)

29 Name: A Guy Who Has It Good : 2008-06-25 01:31 ID:0XIuu8Qv

lol, I think I state what the OP originally asked. I'm a guy and while overall I think we both have it hard, I tend to lean that women kind of have it harder. I mean throughout history, they weren't even considered equals. I hate how in the middle-east, they are forced to cover their faces in black (in the sun) and have to walk everywhere with a man or be prosecuted.

Not only that, but I thank god I don't have to give birth. Seems terrifying to me.

And in terms of romance, as guys WE are expected to make the first move. So if a girl likes a guy a lot, she doesn't have the compfort of just telling him. She has to stay quiet and drop hints.... that sucks.

And of course... ^_^ while girls lose their looks as they age, guys tend to get better looking in time or so I've heard..

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 03:11 ID:7rKlHIx1

If I could be immortal, I'd be female.

Why? Because it's mostly men who are victims of violence.

Plus I'd enjoy looking in the mirror.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 21:36 ID:Heaven

>>29

no. guys r only hot between 15-21 and after that they are damaged goodz.

32 Name: mmm toasty : 2008-06-27 02:01 ID:pkOccGMN

>>1
all of my friends that are girls do the complete opposite.

>>30
Yes, but for me, more reasons apply.

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