[Dilemma] Help! I can't get him out of my head! [Obsession] (36)

1 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-15 05:09 ID:Fvfbf2CF

So, I'm not the type to fall in love easily.

At least I think so. I've had crushes before but it's nothing like this. I have never felt this way before, not about anyone. I spent my whole life seeing other people get hurt by their feelings and decided I wanted to avoid that, but aparrently avoiding it wasn't enough.

Shit, I think I'm in love.

As much as I'd like to avoid using the word "love", it's the only thing that seems to come close when I'm around this guy. I don't know when this happened or how, but now I feel really out of it, like I've been knocked off any sort of emotion equilibrium (and I wasn't too stable to begin with) and now I'm confused. I don't understand these feelings- it feels like I'm sick minus the nausea and I can't think with him around. My chest gets really tight like I can't breath and when I close my eyes all I can think about is him. I'm so distracted I tripped over nothing and I've hurt myself countless times (physically) ever since I was aware of my feelings not to much before.

If it were puppy love I'd be able to push it off with the power of thought, but I've tried so hard to close myself off emotionally and it doesn't work.

As much as I would like to be able to ask him out, have him say yes and we both walk off into the sunset happy as pigs in shit, there's a problem.

Okay two problems

1.The guy I like has many admirers, I mean MANY, albeit short lived. A friend of mine, his ex girlfriend, has seen countless people go through the same stuff I'm going through and IT'S SOOOO NOT WORTH IT! Plus he's made out with most of them. The way she puts it, it seems like he's really emotionally insensitive, though I don't really think she's over him by that way she talks about him. And to add the cherry on the cake, another friend of mine likes him as well, though she's been hot and cold because of our other friend's influence. And I'm seriously thinking about encouraging them to get together because I'm really tired of feeling like this and not being able to do anything about it because fear of rejection or emotion abuse afterward/being manipulated or strung along if we're actually in a relationship (which the chance of that is slim to none because he has LDR with a girl across the country and was willing to jump through hoops for her, but cheats on her without thinking) and

2.There's another person who is nice and is interested in me, Who I went on a date with and am not really attracted to. (inb4 YOu STUPID WHORE) I agreed to the date before I really knew what I was getting into, and should have backed out, but didn't, maybe because I was a little hopeful, Yes, he is nice, but he's also extremely passive, blunt, and seeks validation because he isn't very self confident. Our date wasn't the best, and he's very hopeful, but I think the both of us got the "This isn't going to work" vibes. Despite this I may have accidentally promised him a second date without thinking. I hope to invite another friend along "Densha Otoko" style and do something less romantic to show that we have more fun as friends then as -shudders- lovers.

My friend (the one who also likes him) is forcing me to confess before I'm really ready (because I kept running aroung telling all my friends 'OMFG I NEED TO GET THIS SHIT OFF MY CHEST AND TELL HIM OR I WILL EXPLODE!" at one point). Despite noticing all of his flaws and weaknesses, it's his kindness and affection that shines brighter. I really do like him and I want to tell him that before he leaves for college (near his LDR gf) but I'm not sure if it'll hurt me more in the long run to tell him than to keep it to myself and hope the pain goes away when he leaves.

Halp me pls?

tl;dr Bawwing over boy who is leaving very soon who may not be worth it over someone else who likes me that I don't like back and am not sure if I should tell him my feelings OMG TEENAGE DRAMA AND ANGST!

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 08:24 ID:b0cDJhlX

>>Shit, I think I'm in love.

I stopped reading here.

Because you 'think' you're in love.

3 Name: 43 : 2008-06-15 08:39 ID:QYfylwoO

>>1

Alright, as male I can advice you to make your move soon, if it works = great, if it doesn't then you'll stop feeling the way you do towards him. I'm not saying it will instantly fade away but the feeling will start going downhill. So the sooner you tell him the sooner you'll get rid of the anxiety.

Also, just make sure that both of your friends are ok with it before you make your move.

Good luck and keep us updated.

4 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-15 13:53 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>2

I didn't mean I'm not sure if I was in love with him, I just have reservations with the word 'love', it's tossed around a lot.

I guess this isn't the 'I'll burn orphanages just to be with you' kind of love- it's more of a 'I'm really attracted to you and wouldn't mind being with/spending time with you' kind of love. So however you define love, I think I'm in it.

But if I were to say that to him, he might just think of it as 'I'll burn orphanages kind' and it'd just drive us apart

But that doesn't really matter because he's leaving, right?

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 14:16 ID:T+T/gDdG

>>4
Do not make a move. Let this find a quiet place inside you where it may die in peace. Soon he'll leave right? Consider that a blessing.

Imagine what you're feeling now, explode it up 10 times with all the sweetness in the world, then just take it all away in an instance and replace all the room it took inside you with cold hard nothingness, which will endure for anything between 3 months to well over a year.

This is what you'll go through once he indulges your approaches to feed himself on your passion, and then to dump you once he's gotten tired of you. You won't be able to reason that shit away I assure you.

And if that would happen to you, you fucking better not lean back on this other guy, who actually likes you, to make yourself feel better and once you're alright again, end up doing exactly the same to him.

It's a vicious circle and we become a part of it before we know it

6 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-15 14:21 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>3

>I can advice you to make your move soon, if it works = great, if it doesn't then you'll stop feeling the way you do towards him

And that's what my friend had said (the one who also likes him) I should do, although she won't confess herself. I'm getting the feeling that she's too afraid to do it herself, so she's encouraging me. Sounds a little like altruistic surrender to me, which is funny because she's has a better chance of getting with him then I do (he responds to her more positively/flirtatiously and they spend a lot of time together).

The other friend thinks it's a bad idea because he might try to mess with me (like emotionally abusing my feelings), which is why it took so long to even think of confessing. She keeps trying to keep other girls (and guys) of him, which raised the red flag that she wasn't completely over him.

But I'll go through with it anyway and the worse thing that could happen is that he rejects me. Hard.

7 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-15 14:52 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>5

My head realizes that could happen, but my heart won't fess up. I can't think which is worse- if it actually works out and he's secretly abusive and everything his ex girlfriend said was true or if I say nothing when there could have been something that worked out wonderfully.

And no, I won't use the other guy as a crutch, even I can recognize that. He's not the type of person who listens without expecting anything in return. If anything, it'd probably make me withdrawn from most people except my closest friends.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 16:40 ID:T+T/gDdG

>>7
There comes times when just any attention will seem like heaven compared to where you are, and you'll reach out for any safe bet you can find.

After all you seem to be ignorant about basic reasoning once faced with counteractive emotional burdens. If you're that kind of person, there's no telling who you might end up becoming, or how much you'll hate yourself for it.

The only reason you're thinking "maybe it's nothing" is because you've developed feelings for this guy. Take this oppertunity and let them die, and realize these are just phases and don't mean anything. You'll be over this many more times before you find that special someone who will eventually turn out to be a mistake anyway. But at least you'll feel better about it when you know you didn't have all those warning signs first hand, and it wasn't your fault, etcetera.

Another line of reasoning would be; Since everything turns to shit anyway, why not have yourself some right now?

...Well fuck, I don't know what to say... Do whatever you happen to do, chances are it won't be what you decided for anyway, and there's just no telling

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-15 17:27 ID:f+WO76Yj

call doc phil

10 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-16 10:08 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>8

>Take this oppertunity and let them die, and realize these are just phases and don't mean anything.

That's part of what I was thinking at first, but now I know that might subconciously hurt me in the end and fill me with doubt if someone else comes along and the situation isn't so complex

>After all you seem to be ignorant about basic reasoning once faced with counteractive emotional burdens.

Usually I know how to handle my emotions, but right now my defenses aren't working.

But strangely enough, I wasn't at a low point in my life when I started liking him, unless all of a sudden I don't understand my own feelings anymore, which is strange seeing as I was pretty good at that. So I'm probably not holding out for the extra stroke to my ego- I'm pretty full of myself already, thanks.

The true conflict here isn't that I'm not sure if I I like him or not but if it's worth it.

If I spend my whole life ignoring my feelings however it'd be a cop out. These feelings lingered for a reason.

I need to find out why

It could be a phase and I may not be acknowledging it

I'm usually pretty good at rationalizing things away, but this fails me. I could understand why you think that I stop thinking or using my rational mind and for a period of time I do and pretty much use fight or flight reactoins. But aren't we a society based on fight or flight reactions when everything boils down to it? But the period for that is over and I need to make a decision

It seems like my rational mind and heart were fighting trying to come up with a solution and now they agree and all I need to do is have a little more courage and faith in myself

This is so full of contradictions

Fuck it

I'm going to put all my eggs into one basket and tell him

Wish me luck :D

>>9

But he scares me and being on shows like that are embarrasing for both parties ;_;

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-17 01:38 ID:T+T/gDdG

>>10
There's no such thing as luck. Get ready to eat a lot of scrambled eggs for a while

12 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-17 02:55 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>11

It's a very good thing I like scrambled eggs, but I might need to put that on hold for a little while because I didn't see him all day.

And I proably won't see him again.

Okay, I saw him once.

School was the only place where I could see him and even then the girl that also liked him had him wrapped and tied into a little bow on her finger. I was so fustrated and freaked out and tuned everyone out for the rest of the day and just went home. I was tired and fustrated and I need a little sleep to put everything it perspective and realized I'm throwing everything out of proportion. I think I'm getting physically ill over this, I've been faint and nauseated all afternoon. Or that could just be completely unrelated food poisoning.

I have no idea how I'm going to see him to confess and I don't want to email or IM him or anything because that's too impersonal and if I get rejected it'd hurt more. I don't even know his screenname.

It looks like everything is against me right now ;_;

13 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-18 02:39 ID:Fvfbf2CF

I told the friend everything I need to get off my chest and she didn't realize how clingy she was being and how she's stay away from him etc. For some reason I don't think she's sincere, but it's good that we're on speaking terms again, it's a bridge I will burn when I get there.

It turns out he's going to be closer to home than I thought, which makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter a little faster. I think I'll be able to speak to him before he leaves for the summer and maybe things will work.

I just need to think confidence!

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-18 18:46 ID:9pkjmEsn

I feel bad for that other guy. Really bad.

Doing your best (even if seeking a bit of validation) for a girl you love and seeing her flutter away for some guy who doesn't care about anyone's feelings and cheats and whatever (and that, however fun, nice or cool he might be) really is hard on the nerves and the heart.

But whatever. You didn't choose, and neither did he.

I know it doesn't answer your problem, but I had to tell you that.

15 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-19 00:44 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>14

I never really thought about it that way, but I figured we'd never get past the first date.

He said it made his whole week.

I feel so bad right now.

I seem to be making everyone else around me feel bad too

Like an emotional vampire

I didn't get to talk to him, and I probably never will

The hardest part is over, I just need to get over him, though I might not open up like that to anyone for a while.

I won't jump on the other guy, crying on his shoulder, I have my gay friend for that.

16 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-22 18:05 ID:Fvfbf2CF

After a lot of thought and introspection, I realize that a relationship between mean and him would never work out, no matter how hard we tried and I probably would have gotten rejected which would have led to some unhealthy post-crush/rejection binging involving a whole tub of fudge ice cream and marathon of Lifetime movies. Instead, I will put all my support behind my friend (the one who also likes him) no matter what choice she makes and I'll try to remain friends with the guy who likes me and go no further. Maybe I can take all the energy used in liking him to get interested in something else-like archery, something constructive before I become depressed and spend the rest of my summer sulking.

Alternatively I could just turn emo.

17 Name: TT : 2008-06-22 18:51 ID:RlLpTsH0

I think you are just like your friend. Both of you are just afraid of getting hurt. Think about the guy who actually likes you, doesn't he afraid of getting hurt, too? Ask yourself why do you need someone so bad.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 21:34 ID:T+T/gDdG

>>16

Figure out how to like the other guy and be with him instead.

19 Name: 43 : 2008-06-22 21:55 ID:AgM2eufU

>>16

The whole point in confessing to him was to get rejected and get over it faster, wasn't it?

20 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-23 00:27 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>17

Around the time when I first started liking him, I realized that I was ready to stop being so protective of my feelings and open up to others. I even considered actually dating, but that was pretty much it. Then our mutual friend said someone liked me and I couldn't figure out who it is and she wouldn't tell me. I started to like him but only a little bit and then I felt like I was really ready to try dating and the relationship stuff and a month later I said I would be willing to date this mystery guy, but decided I'd rather not know to keep from making any preconcieved judgements.As the days passed I became more impatient and started wondering if it was him, I mean he was always nice and friendly to me and flirted a little, so maybe he was the one but I didn't want to know, because if it were him or anyone else I saw it'd probably get awkward, but to make a long story short I found out it was someone else THROUGH MY LITTLE SISTER. Fun. I agreed to the date before I knew it wasn't him and I didn't want to back out because of that. I was annoyed at the fact that I needed to make all of the moves to even set up a date and I didn't realize it was because the guy who liked me was afraid to get rejected like I was.

To make a long story short, the guy I liked was everything I wanted in a relationship or thought I did. I don't need someone, I need him. Or what he represents, kindness and playfulness without being too serious. I guess I was indulging myself by thinking he liked me.

tl;dr I'm a dumbass and wanted a perfect relationship

>>18
And lie to myself to make someone else feels better. I'm not into him and lying would end up hurting whatever 'relationship' that ends forming. I'm not going to sacrifice myself to make someone else feel better, and I don't expect anyone else to do the same. I don't want to date him not because he's nice, but he expects me to live up to some ideal and I can't do that, it's too much to live up to and trying to do that would drive me insane. Wow, that sounds pretty hypocritical when I look back at my other posts and what I expected the guy I liked to be. But even then I retained some idea that love doesn't mean sacrifices and not everything was going to be perfect which is part of what held me back (the other being what our mutual friend told me about him) I can tell this other guy can't deal with the not so good things about me from the date, he felt uncomfortable whenever I mentioned something a little unpleasant (not in the OMFG I WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD BAWWWW way, but in the I like horror and scary things way) and was amazed that I even knew what DnD was let alone that I liked to play. I think he's doing the same exacting thing that I was, except I gave him a chance.

>>19
Exactly because I couldn't see us together. I thought it would bring me down to earth, but I think distancing myself a getting punched in the face by reality is doing the same thing. I'm slowly becoming disillusioned, though I hope it doesn't spring back to life if I do see him again.

21 Name: TT : 2008-06-23 06:58 ID:RlLpTsH0

I think it's better be with someone you care. Otherwise this won't be fair to each other. The same is true on the otherside.
Well, the more you think about it, the more you drive yourself into a deadend. Can you be honest to yourself if you don't want spending your summer grieving?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 08:23 ID:QAN0Xp2M

Take control of yourself. You say yourself that he's "emotionally insensitive", "not worth it", and "leaving soon anyways". Everything in the world that reasonable is telling you to not do it. Look at it from the other side: "Why should I approach this guy?" Are you going to betray all of your cognitive faculties, just because you got a "feeling"?

If so, go ahead and get used; it's not like you're worth anything anyways right?

23 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-23 20:15 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>21
Damn, I did wall myself into a corner and start laying bricks and I didn't even realize it. Looking back with semi-clear head it seems kind of stupid. I don't think I can keep sulking any longer wihtout it really fucking up my life even though I wonder what could have been. So now, I'm going to try to find other things do and get out a little more instead of walled up in my room in pathetic teenage lament.

>>22
Well, it's not like I can do anything now, so I can't go out there and prove that my worth is shit by beggng him to pity my poor feelings and amuse me for a little while. Before, I could have fucked up my life so good damn royally by letting some who I knew would hurt me into my life instead of being ronery for-evah

24 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-24 05:05 ID:Fvfbf2CF

I just talked to the guy who likes me (dammit I should give everyone names, just to keep track of everything. You know what, I'll do that right now) just called up and asked if we could do something over the weekend. I told him that I had to make sure I was doing anything over the weekend (I'm not, but I half heartedly hoped he'd give up). I was kind of eh through out the whole thing like I was when we went on the date, but now I'm thinking about just letting him down easy but still remaining his friend/aquaitance. Inb4 YOU TOTAL BITCH.

I'm being an honest bitch, it counts for something

Oh, yeah:

CAST OF CHARACTERS (in this sad teenage dram-edy)

Anonette- Pathetic romantic who can't articulate for shit. Looks like 12 year old. Nerdy and awkward in every sense of the word and can't get over

CB (short for Cute Boy)- Undeniable flirt who is completely oblivious to Anonette's crush. Is leaving to go to college and shows no signs of liking Anonette-at all. May be insensitive and heartless, but this has not been confirmed and is very close to

B-chan- Named for her frequency on 4-chan, B-chan is very close to CB and rejects none of his advances even though she tries REALLY HARD eyeroll. Is consider a younger version of

Loli- Also going away to college and was dumped by CB for his ex who he is still with. Likes loli as fashion style and may still be a little bitter ovwer the break up. Is friends with

Glasses-san- Boy who is also college aged and is persuing Anonette even though is really to shy to do anything. Like anime and manga but hates teh bishie. Wants to go on another date.

Wow, how's that for pathetic.

I'm listening to MCR- this is pretty bad. I need more things to do. Any suggestions anon/Secret Admirers?

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-24 15:17 ID:0qQGKpry

i say give the glasses boy another chance, you did promise a second date. if it doesn't work out then tell him & cut him out of your life for now so he can move on. you can be friends when he's over you.

26 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-25 01:53 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>25
I'll try, but he brings up this irrational fear that I'll spend the rest of my life making sandwichs for ungrateful kids and getting fat if I go out with him. I'll give him the summer to prove me other wise.

I talked with Loli-chan and it really put me into perspective. It gave me the bitch slap I needed, though I think I learned after all of this that I need to be more of a bitch (in the stand up for myself take no shit kind of way)

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 02:18 ID:E8ZHSVhz

>>26

>irrational fear

Give him his chance without prejudice. You might be surprised...

28 Name: TT : 2008-06-27 01:31 ID:RlLpTsH0

Well, if you married someone who doesn't really care about you, in such a course, you will still become a desperate housewife. I agree with >>27, rather give both of the boy and yourself a chance to develope a friendship if possible. Losing a friendship over a crush is just not worth it. This is the same to the one that you fall for, if you actually know both of them better, you might look at them differently. In both cases, you can make decisions yourself that the best for you. Be yourself and good luck!

29 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-27 13:12 ID:Fvfbf2CF

>>27
>>28

Both very good points, now if I could get him to stop thiking about me romantically, I forsee a very beautiful friendship.

30 Name: TT : 2008-06-29 04:05 ID:RlLpTsH0

um... how was the date?

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-01 05:22 ID:JIT5JaRU

My brain is kind of melting, but it's not related to your blogging
Yesterday, I felt like going for a walk, but I knew starving to death takes too long, it's possibly a huge bother. So I went to bed, and when I woke up I was all fresh again. However, it doesn't make me happy anymore. Things that make me happy these days, it's nothing you can pursue. Happiness is a fickle thing

anyway...
I was going to write something subject-related, but it escaped me. I'm sure it would've been very significant

...oh there we go:
Crushes dressed as friendships are equally useless you know. So personally I forsee a brief and forced friendship out of hopes for more and principles, eventually killed by disinterest. "Lets just be just friends" means "Ofcourse I respect and appriciate you as a person too!"
No one actually does that. You can never stimulate a guy socially as much as another guy...
...You know while I was out on my smoking break just now I lined up the rest of this word-shitting in my head, and made every point I was looking to make in a way so immaculate and complete, I simply cannot hope to recreate it in text. I'm not even going to try, but my point is this; if glasses-guy or whateverthefuck turns out to be truly unboyfriendish indeed, you might wanna do the both of you a favour and take distance

Moreover I think you should just tell... "CB", that you want his seed inside you, have him fuck you and if that concepts some kind of pity for your emotions within him, so that he takes you as his cockwrap for however long it turns out, you can be obliviously happy for a time under heavy pheromone-inducement, until desensitation let you catch up with all the flaws the new situation has presented you, and a feeling of disatisfaction will start to grow until it eventually overtakes whatever affection is left, and you can no longer endure out of principles and morals alone -of which you're already lacking as I can tell, then you'll realize you've "grown apart", and if this happens before he in turn has grown weary of you for similar reasons you can at least maintain that you were too good for him, rather than you being undesireable. But in the end it's hard to say which would be prefferable over the other, for a number of reasons

but yeah, how was that date?

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-01 12:35 ID:tS3jFKqB

>Moreover I think you should just tell... "CB", that you want his seed inside you, have him fuck you and if that concepts some kind of pity for your emotions within him, so that he takes you as his cockwrap for however long it turns out, you can be obliviously happy for a time under heavy pheromone-inducement, until desensitation let you catch up with all the flaws the new situation has presented you, and a feeling of disatisfaction will start to grow until it eventually overtakes whatever affection is left, and you can no longer endure out of principles and morals alone -of which you're already lacking as I can tell, then you'll realize you've "grown apart", and if this happens before he in turn has grown weary of you for similar reasons you can at least maintain that you were too good for him, rather than you being undesireable. But in the end it's hard to say which would be prefferable over the other, for a number of reasons

Oh my god, this was pure awesomeness. Thank you >>31.

33 Name: Anonette : 2008-07-05 07:08 ID:Ni1KuHbi

>>31

Ow, the sarcasm, it burns

Seriously, go back to bed, then post

The date? It was okay, but I as bothered at the fact that we did a lot of things, but they weren't really done together. Allow me to clarify because that sounds a little vague. We did stuff (stuff that involved money, which I did not have which made me feel guilty because in some strange way I did ask him out, skim through >>20 for details which made me hint to a second 'date' wher I would have the chance to let him off easy) but it wasn't like we were interacting with each other very much, except for when we went to eat (appetizers only, would should I make of that? a person who is frugal or stingy? but he did pay for everything except for the movies) and played minigolf (even then, he gloated his winning even for a short while) and even then the conversation was awkward. Glasses seems either social awkward or a jerk, but even then that may just be my prejudice speaking.

We went out again (not on a date or at least in my mind) and I explained to him that I didn't want him spending money on me and I perferred that we talked in a cafe or something rather than sat next to each other completely disconnected like he insisted (and he did insist)

To be honest, they're both seem like bad dating material.

CB was sarcastic at times and dismissive of others when it didn't really benefit him (Loli complained about this although she was the same way and admitted to it) His charm was used as a tool to get other to like him, although he might not have realized it. Both he and B-chan were using one another, and they really did deserve each other.

Glasses, though sincere, seems socially awkward and although is my best match intellectual, doesn't stimulate my interest at all, even intelectually speaking. He's very analytical and may find a hyper emotional person like me confusing even though it was ammusing at first may quickly become exasperated and think every female is like this and will become bitter and sullen like most Secret Admirers.

So I think I know what's clear. Because CB won't be coming back into my life again, it is best I forget about him, which I have been gradually and try to tell Glasses tat we can only be friends (I keep hinting at it, but some people don't pick up on subtlety as well as others) while trying to keep my summer from turning into a shoujo manga. shudders

I should probably post this where someone would give a shit like LiveJournal but then I wouldn't get precious gems of responses like yours >>31

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-05 22:26 ID:JIT5JaRU

>>33
It's the fact that you're all like "oh lawd here's mah stupid teenage drama omg no one prolly cares but lol imma gonna write dis newai, in b4 gtfo lawl". What's this board for, who comes here to do what? You make excuses, belittling what you want to share yet you write a damn fucking lot. What are you, compulsive, insecure beyond measure? Not aware that this is 1. the internet and 2. a board actually intended for personal rants?

If I gave less than half a shit, I suppose I wouldn't spend time writing a response in the first place. You could suspect me to be in it for the trolling but that's only half true, I actually am interested. However I will take any chance to be a smartass because I am one. But that's ok, you treasure this quality I see?

>>appetizers only, would should I make of that? a person who is frugal or stingy?

A person who isn't really hungry, but likes appetizers, perhaps trying to loosen up. Hell who knows?
You seem to like to jump to conclusions and over-analyze everything. Exactly how outgoing were you during these dates, and how did you feel. What kind of vibes do you suspect you were giving off. Maybe he's just very nerveous and uncomfortable, maybe it has something to do with you. People can seem very different depending on situation. And people who are used to being nerveous are often masters at hiding it, but instead they often come off as being indifferent, cold, dry, insensitive, etc.

I'm sure this guy wouldn't be so eager to spend time with you just to seem like a jerk. Maybe he just needs some extra help with opening up. But seriously if you honestly don't care for him don't indulge him either, he will just get dissappointed and you'll feel like an ass.

35 Name: Anonette : 2008-07-05 23:51 ID:Ni1KuHbi

>>34

Part of me wants to believe it's really not that big a deal like everyone's been telling me (cough Loli) and I think it's seeping into my posts. I'm trying to analyze everything and it get it out of my head which leads to ranting. It's not very constructive and I realized that. And being a smartass is only half the fun of being human.

During the date,I tried to stay open minded and have fun, but there moments were I felt uncomfortable. It seemed like at times he had forgotten I was there, probably because we did things he was familiar with ie. DDR. It was mostly likely because he was nervous but it still bothered me none the less.

I've mentioned us doing non-date things with other people and how we were friends simply because I was a coward and didn't want to lose him as a friend if I went right out and said "Hey, I don't like you the same way you like me, but I hope we can be friends?" though I think it would have been easier had I cut him off completely.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-08 10:02 ID:Heaven

>I should probably post this where someone would give a shit like LiveJournal

Oh ho. e/n is e/n wherever it's posted.

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