I want a leading man from a Haruki Murakami book.

Observant, even-tempered, but ultimately incomplete in some vital way. "Average", but subtly, ironically self-deprecatory in a way that marks him out from the rest of the crowd.

Has random sexual encounters. Cooks meticulously.

So I am preparing myself to be a Murakami girl. Neat, well-dressed, refined. Ready to disappear without warning.

Failing that, I'd probably just become a prostitute. Who disappears.