Male, 31, hetero. Married and a father.

I have never tried to imagine or define what I look for in a love interest. The only criteria I have used are that 1)I feel attracted to her, 2) I feel good to spend time with her". As long as this is the case, I'm fine with the relationship.

The problem with over-determining your preferences is that usually we are not very good at knowing what we really need. We can say we want this and like that, but often it turns out that what we need is something entirely different. So instead of agonizing about it, and making a lot of mistakes, I prefer to let time solve things. _If a relationship lasts, it means that this person is what you need_. If the person is not suited to you, the relationship will be short lived. It's a self-selecting mechanism which is much thorough and open-minded than trying to decide by yourself. My wife has a very different character and interests than me. If I had to somehow select my mate from a list of women, I doubt she would have been my choice. When I started going out with her, I was kind of surprised it worked. I thought it would probably be a short-lived relationship, but decided to keep it as long as I was comfortable. It was years ago, and it is still going strong, so I think that's the smartest approach.