theres a girl i like that has just come out of a 2.5 yr relationship. she only broke up with the guy like 3 days ago and since then ive thought about nothing except for her. when she was with him i kind of pushed the idea that i could go out with her right to the back of my mind, however now it could become a reality and because of this i cant keep my mind off her. i was told a while ago by one of her friends that she likes me (not sure about how true this is, however i have seen signs in the past that would acknowlegde some truth in this statement).
i have 2 questions:
A year or two I wanted to ask the same question, except where they didn't break up but the guy died and he was my best friend.
That sounds way too fast for a long term relationship (depending on how old you are 2 and a half years sounds like a really long time) and you may just be the rebound until she snaps back into place and drops you like a hot tamale. Hopefully that won't happen, but the most you could do right now is support her without expecting anything in return while still dropping hint about you guys dating without making a move until she's really over her ex. You probably won't get thrown into the friend zone unless you're really overly sympathetic and indulge her by pitying her rather than helping her get over him by telling her that her feelings (whatever they maybe) are okay.
The best idea is to be there for her, but not becoming a doormat. You want her to actualize her inner passion for you without becoming the rebound Anonette mentioned.
If I were you I would give her a little time (a few more days) then take her out to a movie and dinner night as friends to gauge if this was something I really wanted, or something I wanted because I can't have it but it's more likely than before.
Then, see if she likes you, if she does then take things really slowly and don't ever try to push her.
Good luck.
> "be there for her"
I hear this a lot, but when it comes to a woman's relationship with other guys, this statement annoys me. If she tries to talk about that other guy, change the subject or leave.
Also, movie and a dinner might be a bit too much as a first move. Try a movie or lunch instead. Maybe just a movie if she's looking like she wants to vent.
>>7
It doesn't mean let her BAAWWW all over your shoulder talking trash about her ex, but that she needs some support and you should give her some lest she feel alienated and bitter.
bitter girl =/= no date
Okay, but what does "giving support" mean?
I'm sure she has girlfriends she can complain about her ex-boyfriend to. Complaining to a man about your former man is both insulting and incredibly selfish. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out.
If "giving support" means enjoying each other's company, that's something different.
op here.
im taking her to a movie in a few days. i got a free ticket from work so im gonna use that. should i try anything in the movie or before/after it?
ive kinda been in this situation before and left it too late to make a move and the girl ended up going for another guy. so i dont wanna leave it too late this time.
>>9 she doesnt complain to me about her ex. she used to up until she broke it off with him, but not anymore. infact, since then she hasnt talked about him at all. could this mean anything?
> should i try anything in the movie or before/after it?
Find a decent cafe (beforehand) nearby to cool off after the movie. It gives the two of you some time to pay each other attention.
> could this mean anything?
Dunno, sorry. It depends on what makes her tick. This is why you go on dates: to find out!
update:!!!
turns out, shes coming over tonight to watch some movies. this is happening in about 4 and a half hours. just me and her. i wanna flirt with her but i dont really know how..
update:!!!!
it started off fairly well. she wanted to play my ds so i showed her that, then we got some food and watched a movie. after the movie the her boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) txted her and was like "where are you".. i dont think ive said it yet and i think this might be extremely important now: her xbf apparently thinks that im the reason why she broke up with him. we didnt know what to say to the txt because she didnt want to make him jealous or upset any more than he is; so we ignored it. 5 mins later he started calling her. same deal; we just ignored the calls. however, when he called consecutively for the 5th time she said fuck it i'll just answer it.
she answers the phone:
G: hey wats up im driving home from my dads house, i'll be home soon. (they still live together unfortunately)
xbf: you lieing, i saw your car outside of OPs house
g: thats bs, i'll be home soon.
when she got home apparently they had a tiny fight which consisted of him saying "all the right things" that she doesnt wanna hear, (like "i wanna be a better bf" etc.). she reported this to me on msn and assured me it was fine and all sorted out. we were checking movie times for thursday and apparently he saw and now knows about this.
after last night i really have no idea where i stand anymore, and it seems to have occurred to me that if im going to make this friendship prgress further, I might have to wait at least another 2 weeks because its obvious to me now that shes not entirely over him. sigh, maybe i should just try and find another girl?
KISS HER!!!!!!!@ the next moviedate, just fucking do it will ya.
NOOOO. DO NOT look into finding a girl until you are sure that there is nothing. Are you sure that she's picking up on the hints? Also, most girls aren't "completely over him" for a while after the relationship ends, or so I've heard. Need more female input. Keep the updates coming, hear?
>>15 well, this worked; enough said. thanks guys, im so happy right now.
If a girl thinks you're cute but gay, you FAIL because she thinks you don't like women. In fact, that's my anti-pussy. If a girl is annoying the shit out of me, I start talking about cute guys. ;)
So yeah, if you really do like women but you look a little too GQ, be sure to let them know you like them.
5 months on and we are going strong. thanks guys
congrats!