What to do next? (13)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-03 19:01 ID:AWSFGQMZ

So, I know this girl. I'm 20 and she's 18, and as far as I know she's as unexperienced as me.

She lives a bit away from me, but just a convenient bus trip from the airport, and this summer I was going on vacation with an early flight, which I couldn't catch from home with the earliest train/bus, so she let me stay over.

After watching a movie (sitting on the bed she'd prepared for me) we were just fooling around, me tickling her and stuff, until we got exhausted and ended up just lying next to each other. While moving slowly closer to her I noticed what I tought could be her leading me on to a kiss.

After collecting a bit of courage I said "Are you hinting to something?" "Hinting to what?" "This." I said, and kissed her. She then reciprocated and we made out.

We wound up losing our t-shirts caressing each other and we got as far as me licking/sucking her nipples before we had to call it a night. Nothing down the pants.

The next day after breakfast I had to run for the bus after making out again. I caught my flight and went on vacation as planned.

Now, the problem is that afterwards when speaking to her online, she acts like the whole incident weren't anything which is different to how she acted when I left her for vacation.
As I see it she might be acting "hard to get" and/or she may have cooled off a bit the last weeks. I haven't really had an opportunity to visit her yet since I came home.

I don't want to spout lines like "I love you!" or "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" by IM or phone, so I'm planning on visiting her when I get time the next weekend. I'm just not sure on how I should approach her.

What do you guys think?

2 Name: Amung : 2008-09-03 20:17 ID:HfFdZoHD

how cool :)
just play along and everything should be fine.

Next case please :D !!!

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-03 21:01 ID:uELQz2yE

sounds like youre moving a good pace.
just keep the rhythm steady.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-03 21:54 ID:AWSFGQMZ

Not so much steady anymore, concidering this happened almost two months ago. Time's a bitch when it passes too fast.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-03 23:40 ID:fdEnKIzg

oh god why did you let two months pass by ?!

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-04 05:29 ID:AWSFGQMZ

I were away for a month, then I've just been to busy to visit yet. (The one time I had time, she were visiting her grandparents.)
As I said we live a bit apart, a couple of hours drive or so.

7 Name: bingo : 2008-09-06 01:27 ID:npyZq2eG

She is pretending nothing happened because she is probably embarassed by it. She may have found you attractive and may have enjoyed it, but she doesn't want to come off as easy. There are two ways you can take it:

  1. Pretend it didn't happen and the next time your alone in a dark room start where you left off. This might be a good strategy because while she may not express what happened on the phone or online she might be receptive to it when you're together IRL.
  2. Talk to her and tell her you thought what happened was special and that you have all the respect in the world for her, and suggest going out or whatnot. Tell her you really like her as an entire person. This reassures her that you don't see her as easy and that you want a deep relationship. Or you can just do nothing about it, which will lead you nowhere.

In any case, good luck.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-06 18:53 ID:I8c1IBRD

That's along the lines of what I'm thinking about. I've got a day off next friday, so I'm driving over. In the best case scenario, things work out as they should and I'll stay the weekend if I'm permitted. Otherwise I'll just drop by another friend nearby.

After meeting her, I'm hoping for a natural progression from a hug to a kiss, and then I'll tell her everything about my feelings for her.
I'm just afraid it won't go so smooth. :)

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-07 01:35 ID:Heaven

>>8
Don't tell her everything. Please. You've got a way too high chance of scaring her. Tell her you like her maybe, etc etc., but no "I love you so much I'd lay my life down" or this kind of pseudo-romantic confession. Though it may be what you want to say and I believe it would be awesome if it worked IRL - it just doesn't.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-11 23:09 ID:L7QuNwOr

I'll be careful. To be honest it's not what I want to say either, I like to word myself more realistic. I'm thinking more along the lines of "I'm seriously in love with you, and would very much like to have a relationship with you." Depending on what fits in the situation.

I've told her that I'll be coming tomorrow and that I'll bring the cake I "own" her (which I jokingly promised her a while ago). She at least seemed happy about it. Now I only need to get her a cake. ;)
Making one myself would be great, but I don't think I've got time enough for that, and it's years since the last time I baked anything. I'll rather promise her that "Next time I'll make you one myself, if you're brave enough to taste it." ;)

Now I just need some sleep before jumping into the car. Tomorrow might be awesome, or I might fail miserably. Either way I'll keep you updated. Also, thanks for your support.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-12 07:28 ID:SJzyE1ge

move closer to her if you really love her

long distance relationships jsut don't work

12 Name: secret admirer : 2008-09-13 00:58 ID:LipA69L4

>>11
amen to that, long distance relationships just mean it's bound to fall apart sooner or later

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-13 01:04 ID:u/OGMECh

Moving is out of the question at this time, and it's too early to plan the future. ;)
The distance is rather trivial, except I'll have to take care not running out of money for gas by visiting too often.

About today; after watching a movie I stole a kiss from her, but she told me she didn't want me to catch the cold she's still recovering from. (And before any "it's just an excuse"-theories; the cold is genuine for sure.)
I couldn't get myself to bring up any talk about a relationship today so I can't actually say I've got any progress yet, but at least it seems I can pick up where I left a couple of months ago. :)

Tomorrow I'll pick her up and we'll drive to a market an hour or so away. It should be fun, and the drive might be a good opportunity to talk.

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