I don't think I'll get any useful response by the time I need it. But I'm going to throw my situation out there anyway. This Thursday, I am planning to spend some time with a friend from college. I haven't seen her in a while, about 6 months, though I well know that she's been going out with her boyfriend for about 2 years or so.
From a purely objective standpoint, it's obvious that I shouldn't do anything to put my relationship with her at peril or even sabotage anything between her and her boyfriend. But at the same time, we've shared a mutual attraction for each other for a long time already, about 6 years. Secondly, being 24 and perpetually single has made me desperate and prone to acting rashly. How wonderful would it be if I confessed my feelings for her and she was ready to do the same? Of course, that's only a crackpot dream anyway. Though, I did have a dream where I was in a similar situation where it left me brokenhearted even after waking up. I guess that would be more like a nightmare, but whatever. On the other hand, I could talk to her honestly about it. For the most part, we can talk openly about most everything. Though, I'm not too sure if this is taboo or not.
The other option is not to talk about it at all.
Been there, done that; wow the first romance thread I could respond to without being in a relationship hoorah! Talking about it works; personal experience. It will make you feel a helluva lot better, period. As for hooking up with her, that's really unlikely unless the bf she has becomes a total douche and she leaves him. As for not sabotaging the relationship, good boy!!! It doesn't take long for the longing to turn you into an egotistical and ambitious ass. Besides, if she's as great as you think her to be, she won't bitch about it.
Interesting story, i don't know about you but for me it would be hard to talk to her about it. But i think if you can that would be a great idea. So yeah >>2 is right...
Just say something really ambiguous, like "I really enjoy spending time with you".
Ambiguous is a good idea if you are a nervous wreck. However, truthfully expressing your feelings can never be substituted, though 4's line could work as an opener. Idk, it's just better to be honest to people who are nice.
Our relationship is pretty awesome, albeit, the only thing missing is that we don't get to spend too much time together. We usually go out to eat or just explore the city. I've taken her to go see Les Miserables, the Brooklyn Promenade, and eat at Cafe Lalo (better known as the small cafe in You've Got Mail). We talk about serious and not so serious topics. Because of that, we got to know each other very well and so, I'm not always nervous around her. We talk about marriage, parenthood, etc, and other things like theater, and music. My friend wonders why I'm not dating her now. I, too, also don't know why.
But to bring something up like this takes a lot of courage to face the consequences rather than overcoming stage fright. I don't want to leave a bad impression since it's been so long and I'd like to spend more time with her in the near future as well about a month. (I don't have a date for my friend's wedding.) I was going to ask her out to it when I see her on Thursday.
The entire situation is kind of woffable.
(woffable being the verfication code I have to type in.)
how would you feel if she was yours and this guy confessed his feelings for her?
don't do it, man.
>>7
I think you are not right here... You see confessing itself doesn't do any harm if she is with that guy... Maybe he won't even know you confessed....
Look just tell her; I understand the boyfriend would get a bit unnerved, but that shouldn't be a reason not to say anything. Besides, as long as you don't make it anything more than a confession, then the BF doesn't even need to know. In fact, if you confess and don't talk about it until she breaks up with him, what's the problem with that? Simple as that: confess and live with a clear conscious, and as long as you don't do something stupid, then he has no reason to be pissed at you, let alone even know you told her anything.