>2 The special type of guy, for example, the one I had a crush on for some months is by no means feminine. He's very handsome, has this great sense of humor and is very cool. There's this special twinkle in his eye, like he's up to something, you know?

I guess that mature guys will never really appeal to me, because I'm incredibly childish most of the times (and as showing affection most of the times indicates maturity, I suck at it) - so mature guys scare me away. I couldn't date who'd take me seriously all the time. Although, yes, some times I get really annoyed if someone doesnt take me seriously at the appropriate time...

>3 I totally agree with you about the -sign of weakness- thing. I face affection like that, too. I don't like to feel weak towards a guy...to show him that he can do something to annoy me really deeply, you know? Although, ironically, at the same time I want him to know that his actions can affect me, like...that I exist too, that I'm there for him.

I do not get strong sexual desire for that girl. I kept thinking about her, that's all. She's really gorgeous and I truly respect her and admire her deeply. I just wanted that we two could be best friends, and that I could show her I'm an awsome person. I always thought this wasn't very normal...so I considered being Bi.
I mean...because most of the times I don't get much sexually attracted to guys either...maybe it's my hormones who're totally messed up or don't even exist..I truly don't get it.
Physically I don't look like I'm 20. No one would ever give me that age. The most a people can give me is 14 years old, because I have this cute little face and my body isn't exactly very well developed yet (since I was little I had to take many medecines because my health was really weak...it still is, actually, so the medecines I took retarted my development...you think that has anything to do with my personality, too?)