When should you say "I love you"? (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-13 20:00 ID:/+tRPhLJ

See title. Just wondering. I've started dating someone and it's been almost a week. I was wondering when is it "safe" or something, I guess, to tell her I love her.

2 Name: 43 : 2008-09-13 21:18 ID:Heaven

You say it when you feel it. I seriously doubt you actually love her in "almost a week". How old are you? 16?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-13 22:12 ID:/+tRPhLJ

OP here, 20 to be exact.

The thing is, though we've only been officially "dating" for about a week, we've hungout with each other, been friends, etc. for like, 6-7 months.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-13 22:42 ID:FXQOzA4E

>when is it "safe" or something, I guess, to tell her I love her.

It's never safe. Ever.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-13 22:56 ID:EQZFcElb

>>2 I agree with you.
Don't say "I love you" just because that's what they do in the movies. I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and I said it..uhm, less than ten times, I would say. So did he.
The first time I told him that I LOVE him was at our first anniversary. It felt awesome. Of course - before I said stuff like "That's just because I love you so much" etc. - but looking him deep into the eyes and whisper "I love you", wow, that was something.
So kitschy! But sometimes we need some kitsch in our lifes, right.

I want to save these words for special moments. I wouldn't want them to become dull and meaningless because they're being used to often.

One question: English is not my first language - what would be the moderated form of "I love you"? What would you say instead? "I'm fond of you"? Sounds a bit weird. "I like you" might be a bit weak. Or isn't there any proper phrase?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-14 02:21 ID:Heaven

>>5 there really isnt a subdued version if thats what you mean. very different from japanese, if you happen to speak that. telling someone you are fond of them, or that you like them, just sounds strange. the latter is done by children. you can imply love with other statements i guess? tell them that they are wonderful for example.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-14 07:27 ID:QSNFSEQp

«I love you» is itself a «subdued version» of «I'm in love with you»...

You never say «I'm in love with mudkips»...

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-14 08:34 ID:EQZFcElb

>>6 I see, thank you. I'm German btw.
>>7 Ah, okay. Then please read:

>>but looking him deep into the eyes and whisper "I love you", wow, that was something.

as

>>"whipser "I'm in love with you"

I think that's rather what I meant.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-14 19:46 ID:EcopgH9h

i usually wait around 2 months. by that point i know if i love her

10 Name: Chris : 2008-09-23 09:17 ID:oofwrcRk

After you bang the hell out of her.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-23 10:06 ID:lljnxORG

>>10 twat.

OP, love is very difficult to quantify like this... I "loved" my first girlfriend but the feelings I had for my next girlfriend were much stronger and I realised that what I felt for my first was not real love but I had not point of reference so at the time I said it I meant it.

With the new girl I am becoming involved with the feelings are really intense but we have know each other for very little time so I would never dream of telling her I love her, but again these feelings are different from the other times I used the word, and just as strong, if not more so. Currently the intensity of the feelings are being described as "really, really, really like." This is kind of an in joke between us, both of us are sort of implying the word love could be used but it is too early to say for sure.
I would say you can easily imply how you feel without committing yourself or scaring her off with "love" by using phrases like "I have never felt like this before" etc.

The thing is if you are wondering if you should say it, and asking us for advice, now is not the right time. You do not need to work out when and where you should say it, when it needs to come out it will.

12 Name: fartman : 2008-10-06 21:23 ID:Wd+oML+F

>>1
when your girlfriend are sleeping with another guy

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