Why is this so hard? (9)

1 Name: head over heels : 2008-09-21 22:26 ID:2kTQeGc7

Here's the story:

I walk into one of my university class during the first week and see this extremely cute guy, I couldn't help but think he looked really really familiar, then I realized who he was.

He used to live on the same floor as me when we were both in residence during our first year but he was kind of the shy type that didn't really talk much to any of us on the floor. I managed to start talking to him a little when we saw each other in one of our classes, we walked back to our residence and talked a bit, it was nice but that was the last time i had a real conversation with him. Ever since then I would walk slowly after class and back to residence hoping to bump into him again, but it didn't happen. Occasionally we would see each other in the hallway but we would just stick to a hi-bye basis. At the end of the year as I was moving out, I was able to see him one last time, something like that actually made me so happy!

Now seeing him again I realized that I still like him and I'm trying really hard to just start talking to him and just being friends but its so difficult. He's got a group he hangs out with in that class and that makes it harder to approach him. I usually end up sitting a little bit behind him, so during the whole class I'm constantly staring at him rather than paying attention to my professor. Just last week, there was an incident where I was early so I put my bag on an empty chair and left the room and when I came back I saw him and his friends sitting by my bag, he ended up sitting right in front of me! As I was walking towards my seat, I remember my hands were shaking so badly, I was so scared.

2 Name: head over heels : 2008-09-21 22:44 ID:2kTQeGc7

so because I didn't say hi to him for all this time, I thought it'd be weird if I said hi to him one class out of no where which is why I thought of the idea to start a conversation with him on facebook first (he added me already) but I was so anxious to hurry up and talk to him that I wrote a very ridiculous message that didn't even mention hi how are you or any questions so that he would have something to reply to be with. I feel really stupid after that, and now he probably think I'm a huge idiot or maybe even a stalker or something.

I just really want to talk to him and be his friend... what do I do to fix this? help

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-21 22:46 ID:VucrFx42

Do you not have any other opportunities during the day to catch up to him when he's not with his friends?

If you think you're courageous enough, you can ask start talking to him as people are filing out of the classroom. Have something to say planned so it isn't terribly awkward. If his friends are at all competent, they'll go off on their own when they see a girl is talking to him.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-21 22:50 ID:VucrFx42

Okay, you posted this as I was typing >>3.

What, exactly, was in the message you sent him?

5 Name: head over heels : 2008-09-22 00:30 ID:2kTQeGc7

it was something along the lines of
"you look different now, haha"

really lame I know :(

and like I'd see him when I'm in the cafeteria with my friends before that class but he's with his friends and if I see him turning towards me I’d try to play it cool and look like I don’t even notice he’s there. In class a few times I thought I saw him trying to look back at me but I’m pretty sure I’m just imagining it. The thing is, I want to talk to him, but not at the cost of creating an even more awkward atmosphere than there already is since I still have to see him for the whole semester.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-22 01:57 ID:VucrFx42

If it's true that you've exhausted all of your options for meeting him in a social situation that's comfortable for you, then you have to step outside of your comfort zone.

Brave the awkwardness of meeting him when he's leaving class, like I stated before. His friends should take off if they see him talking to a girl.

Do you want to be his friend and that's it, or his friend and maybe girlfriend if things should move that way?

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-22 05:04 ID:F71hMl9l

You're in university and you have the same insecurities as a middle school girlie?

I say befriend an adult women who is famous for seducing guys, and ask her to teach you how to flirt.

8 Name: head over heels : 2008-09-26 00:14 ID:2kTQeGc7

thank you for that, actually that comment made me wake up

In the past I was in a relationship where it was going nowhere because I was acting like such a little school girl, being shy and not having the guts to say things that I wanted to, the relationship of course didn't work out. After that I said to myself that I will be in a mature relationship and find someone I can be myself with, someone who it definitely feels right with. With this guy right now, what good would it be if I talked to him? We're so awkward around each other, he's not someone I can be natural with, and clearly he has no interest in me whatsoever. So I've decided, if I ever get the chance, I still want to be his friend but I'm not going to force it nor am I going to fall for him any longer. Thank you for reminding me not to be so silly and childish, I almost forgot. I guess sarcastic comments aren't always useless :) wish me luck!

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-26 22:51 ID:F71hMl9l

Well okay: Good luck!

But if you knew how, you could seduce any guy you wanted to. It's not important if he shows interest at the start.. MAKE him interested. Dress sexy but not over the top and flirt with him but not too openly.. Take the golden middle road.

I guess it's easier said than done. But there are girls doing this.

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