So there's this guy I like... (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 04:46 ID:/iV345oL

...except that I hardly talk to him and can't seem to work up the nerve to do so. We're both seniors in high school, and I'd like to have at least one boyfriend before I graduate. I know this sounds lame, but I really have no confidence whatever in this area of my life -_-' (and I'm known for being confident, even arrogant, in other areas) He's a nice guy, and he's certainly easy enough to look at (not model material, mind you, but pleasant enough in his own way), but I just can't seem to bring myself to talk to him. I only see him maybe once or twice a day between classes, so there's no time to have a real conversation. Oh, and we aren't in the same clubs and there's no way I could join the ones he's in; the ones I'm in meet the same days.

Any advice?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 05:47 ID:1glLvhEj

how 'bout trying to get more information about him? maybe from his friends that u know?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 06:01 ID:LMv4YkGz

How about refocusing your goals? it sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, your goal when talking to him shouldn't be to make him your boyfriend or to impress him but just to get to know him better. So maybe ease up a little? it might make talking to him a lot simpler.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 12:15 ID:Heaven

Ask a girl who is good at this sort of thing and has no reason to try to sabotage you.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 21:35 ID:SpON9U9r

  • Check out school events: that's a good chance to meet him.
  • Investigate who knows him. You can do that at school, or check facebook. If you know an intermediate you can find ways of meeting him outside of school.
  • Be somewhat more persistent with what you have now: You meet him several times a day, each day, you are bound to find chances of meeting him. Some days of the week may be better than others.

But mostly try to overcome your shyness and behave naturally,... Your initial aim should only be to make contact, and then you can progress from there.

6 Name: OP : 2008-10-24 02:36 ID:MKd55Hx7

Thanks guys, sorry it took me so long to reply. (my ID may have changed, FYI)

As to what >>3 said, I'd say that that pretty much has always been my problem. I could hardly talk to the last guy I liked, but after I decided to chill out on the romantic aspect, I had no problems talking to him. Of course, the fact that he had a steady girlfriend certainly hurried me along my way...

Oh, and as per >>5, I have been facebook-stalking him. Not hacking into anyone's accounts or anything, but reading like everything even remotely connected to him. The problem is that when I actually do get to talk to him, I never find anything even somewhat new to talk about and I sound so ridiculously lame TT.TT And our mutual friends are on the outer edges on either his or my social circle.

Am I just making excuses/being self-deprecating/doing it wrong? (please ignore the meme)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 03:34 ID:xmrdo8sw

I would go for the first option, finding any plausible excuse to avoid facing him. The solution? Just go for it. One thig is certain, if you don't do anything, it won't happen.

For instance: which clubs is he in? I bet it wuld be easy to start a conversation based on that. Let us know, and we'll start from there,...

8 Name: OP : 2008-10-26 04:34 ID:q+CzhN3K

He's really only in band, but they're taking a break for awhile, as their last major competition for this semester was last week. I don't think he's in anything else.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-26 05:04 ID:LaRmpphs

When passing him in the halls, try and make eye contact and smile. This shows that you're interested in him. Unless you don't really want him to know yet. But I say go for it OP!! XD

10 Name: OP : 2008-10-26 06:32 ID:q+CzhN3K

Well, I'm not sure whether I want him to know just yet... I'd rather get to know him better first. I will try though, thanks ^^

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