thanks guys for your advice.
and im sure you know this stuff isn't anything i want to hear.
im still waiting for the "keep up the hope dude! everything will be fine and you guys will get back together." but i know its never going to come and that its never going to happen.
unfortunately, unlike >>5 her parents are not the only problem.
>remember good things fall apart so great things can come together
i like that too, but it seems to me that its more like "great things fall apart so i can go back to being alone and depressed until another great thing comes along to get my hopes up again just to crush me."
heh.
i know this probably all sounds pathetic, but everything i do reminds me of her. from getting a shower to getting out a piece of paper to writing something down in class. its like there's a memory of her everywhere i go. i feel like I've lost all motivation to do anything. like i try to do something and all of the sudden im just like "whats the point?"
who do i have to look good for now? or paint paintings for? or wait around in the hallways and being a little late to all of my classes because i walked with her to hers?
i guess i should update. im not sure if you guys care how its going or not.
but today was the first day of school (had Monday off) and it was harder than i expected. i asked her to bring in a thing i made for her so i could get it graded (made it in AP drawing) and she sat down next to me and it seemed so far away, and i didn't expect it would hurt so much to see her. i think she realized that so she got up and looked around with her other friend for somebody that she knew wasn't there today.
and i just sat there.
when they came back they went a couple feet past me in the hallway and stayed there until the bell rang where she had her friend come and get her backpack next to me and give it to her as she went the opposite way that i go, which she never went. (back stairs takes longer so she didn't use them)
i had the hardest time in classes because all i used to do was write her notes and think about her but its like what do i do now?
ill fast forward to the end of the day.
i found myself behind her in the hallway and i said hi and she said hi back and i couldn't think of what i wanted to say when i actually saw her so i just followed her. we went outside and the first person we see is this fucking douche bag that tried to break us up when we first started going out. he was basically harassing her and when i talked/threatened him he wouldn't listen, so she talked to him and he stopped but he became her "friend." which is bullshit because all he wants to do is try to be there for her and do things for her so she will start to like him. anyway he gave her an entire box of taco bell and she started talking to him and it was disgusting, i wanted to be sick right there. it was obvious what he was trying to do, and i was being ignored. so i just left and met up with some people and walked down to the Wendy's by our school.
it was possibly the worst day of my life ever, and i get to do a whole brand new one tomorrow!