Girl won't call me back. (13)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 05:31 ID:nP5+GK5w

It's Thursday night.

A girl that I thought I was very good friends with has not responded to two phone calls and a text message. We last hung out two Sundays ago. The following Thursday, I ran into her and talked to her briefly. She did not act weird then; she was acting normal.

On Friday, I called, but she didn't pick up; on Saturday, I texted asking (which should warrant a response) if I could borrow a movie that she kept telling me I should watch, and on Monday, I thought I'd try calling one more time before backing off. She didn't pick up then either, and has yet to respond to that text.

I've realized that I would run into her sooner or later and that I'd find out what's going on (like if she lost her phone or if it was some other situational force at work), but I have not seen her since the day before I called her, and I cannot stop fucking thinking about this. It's driving me crazy, and I'm really considering posting on her facebook wall asking modestly if she got my text or something, but one of my friends says that that would be too much. She's going home for the weekend tomorrow though, and I want to fucking know right now what the deal is. I'm sick of waiting to run into her.

A little background: we are freshmen in college, and we met about two months ago. We've gone to two concerts, watched a movie, and have talked about everything, though we've only seen each other on average once, maybe twice a week. I don't know, or really care if I do in fact have a crush on her. I do very much value our friendship, and wouldn't want to let it go for the world, but I'm starting to think that maybe she doesn't actually want to see me anymore. That thought has been making me feel pretty shitty the last few days, and I just want to know why she would do this. I thought we were friends. She is mature and nice and friendly; she would not do this kind of shit. She has never appeared uncomfortable around me or anything like that. It has been nothing but fun being around her.

A friend told me that since the phone rang on Monday, that means that she hasn't lost her phone. Also, she has both called me back and texted back promptly in the past. Only once has any of her texts ever gotten "lost," meaning I did not get them until a few days after she made them.

I figure that if she does not contact me by the end of Monday, I definitely want to call again or post on her facebook. But I don't want to cramp her or anything, and I know that I WILL run into her sooner or later. I don't know if I'm ok with continuing to feel like shit for another three days though. I write this here because I'm pretty sure the people I've been talking to about it are getting a bit sick of hearing this, but I can't get it off my mind.

Nothing like being ignored.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 05:39 ID:nP5+GK5w

OP here: A highlight I should've stuck in the "background" paragraph: we performed on stage together, just us, at an open mic about a month ago. So yeah. Pretty great friends, I thought.

Why would she do this?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 05:46 ID:eW0BBPnD

Maybe she doesn't feel like talking on the phone with anyone, or maybe she hates her mobile phone or doesn't have credit?

Sir, are you getting obsessed with this lady?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 06:52 ID:fja7icWL

Don't pester her on facebook, you will come across as too clingy,... Just make sure that you run into her as soon as possible to have a conversation, but don't call her more than once a week.

There may be many explanations to her behavior, not all related to you. She might even have a bout of depression, and just not want to deal with anyone. I know it's hard, but give her a break as long as you don't know what's going on.

Also, don't forget that if you pester her too much she will become more afraid of your possible anger, and try to avoid you even more. You need to avoid that vicious circle.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 20:18 ID:nP5+GK5w

OP here: I don't think she's depressed, because not long after I called her on Friday, I saw in my facebook news feed that she was tagged in an album named after someone on her floor's birthday party that had happened that day. I saw one or two of those pictures, and it seems stalkerish to come to a conclusion based on that, but yeah, I definitely don't think she's depressed. Her last few status updates have also been about how happy she is to be going home. I guess I'll find out eventually what the deal is, though.

I didn't see her today, and she's probably already on her way home, so... whatever. I guess I'll just keep waiting.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 21:04 ID:Heaven

>>She is mature and nice and friendly; she would not do this kind of shit

WRONG!!!!!!!! Everyone is capable of this, sometimes you just want a fucking break (like in , sick of you, too tired..F%CK OFF!).

Why don't you ignore her? Hang with other people, or shit just move on.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-24 22:22 ID:Q4oyaZAK

I know that I can be really distant with people myself. Since she has changed her level of contact with you she probably wants to lose contact with you. Any way you cut it there is something wrong with her. It could be that you did some minor thing that she thought was unacceptable and she decided to sever ties with you. It could also be that she doesn't want to date you but doesn't want to go through the necessary steps to reject you, and figures that by ignoring you you'll eventually get the hint and just stop trying to contact her.

What you should do is just let it go. She has issues and she is not going to stop ignoring you no matter what you do. May as well let go and move on with your life. You could try asking her why she is ignoring her, but you probably won't get an answer.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 23:05 ID:nP5+GK5w

OP here: As I said in my post, we are just friends, and she has a boyfriend, so there is no potential for us to date. There isn't, afaik, anything I've done to show that kind of interest in her. We're friends.

I should also mention that when we met, she put her number into my phone herself. I did not prompt or ask her for it. There is also the factor that she is in a place where she knows nobody since it's far from home, so if anything she's in a position to make and to keep friends.

Still, your post has not failed in making me feel shittier than I did before.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-24 23:33 ID:f5XuTEXz

>>8
Why don't you relax, be patient, figure out what happened, and let us know of the outcome? Freaking out because of lack of information seems pretty unreasonable to me,...

10 Name: DomiRican : 2008-10-24 23:44 ID:Duovdunw

If i where in your shoes right now i would think that maybe she doesnt want her boyfriend to get the wrong idea or maybe you she accidently rubed her of the wrong way
It seems like you loike her even if you dont want to admit it so if i were you from past experince ill just ignore her untill she comes and talks to you and if she dosent o well just move on.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-27 06:14 ID:CkWc31Lq

Dude, she is ignoring your calls and your texts. And she has a boyfriend. Sorry to say it, but just forget about her.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-28 05:08 ID:nP5+GK5w

OP here: Finally got a text from her Saturday night. She went to see a band while she was at home, and she texted me to tell me that they were playing my favorite song by them.

I ran into her today. It was great. She told me she forgot to text me back and apologized.

Everything's ok. False alarm.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-28 06:58 ID:5G2rBBtr

>>12 cool,... At least from now on you know this can happen and don't need to freak about it.

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