I'm a daydreamer. And these are my adventures in love.
But first, here's a little background.
In high school, I was the girl who sat at the back of the classroom dreaming of a glorious future, doing crazy things, and of course: boys. Unfortunately, as a shy, reserved wallflower, these things remained merely ideas. The only way for me to make these dreams a semi-reality was to give them a physical form through art. It's no wonder art became my favorite class. The art classes at my school were all taught by one man, Mr. X, grades 9th-12th. He was a young guy (early twenties) who came in for his first year of teaching the same year I started 9th grade. He was fairly secretive about himself, whenever students asked questions about him, such as his birthday or simple things about himself, he would avoid the question or give the vaguest answer possible. So when I attended my first day of my senior year to find this typically strictly-business guy with a grin on his face and a happy-go-lucky attitude, I was taken aback. He suddenly opened up to us and within the first month, I learned more about him than I had learned in all three prior years I had taken his class. Beneath his tough exterior, he was actually a very interesting, intelligent and charming guy. To my disgruntlement, I fell for him. I struggled against my own emotions all year. Despite my best efforts to let him go, I couldn't. When graduation came around, I was sad to leave everything behind, but I thought that maybe, by not seeing Mr. X, I could finally let him go. My theories were wrong; that summer was rough. When the school year came around again, I had to revisit the school to pick up artwork that had been held in the gallery over the summer. When I saw Mr. X again, the little bits and pieces of my feelings for him that I was able to let go of over the summer came rushing back. I fell harder than I had before. Again I was at war with my own morals, and it was, and still is, tearing me apart. I hoped that maybe I'd meet someone, a new friend, that might make me forget my feelings for Mr. X. I never actually expected to meet anyone, but to my surprise, a few days into my first semester of college, I met this cute foreign guy who happened to be from @#$%&. Let's call him Cyan. I had begun learning @#$%&nese a few months prior to meeting him, and when we talked, we just hit it off. I felt strangely at ease around Cyan, unlike anyone before. I forgot about everything when I was with him. Unfortunately, when class was over, Cyan and I would go our separate ways and Mr. X would once again dominate my thoughts.
That brings us to the present. I have kept in touch with Mr. X, but I have become more confused than ever before. The more I've been talking to Cyan, the more I like him. However, my feelings for Mr. X are getting in the way of even a friendship, and I'm frustrated that I can't seem to let go. I think I must be searching for some sort of...closure for lack of a better word. So my plan is to sort of test him. Drop subtle hints or something that hopefully will get me that 'closure' I'm looking for.
There's a gallery opening that we're going to next week, I'm thinking about talking him then...if I can muster up the courage.
>3<
In case you are wondering, I am now 20, and Mr. X is in his late 20s.
Yep, seems to me you could open up with X, to get that story finally going, since it definitely doesn't want to die,... There is now nothing holding you against it.
welcome to LAND OF ONEITIS :3 Good luck, miss!
I saw a shooting star tonight. I wished for everything to work out ^///^
I did not see a shooting star tonight, but I wished for everything to work out for you anyway.
Go for Mr. X!! Good luck!
Oddly enough, I saw a shooting star last night too.
Good luck with Mr. X though, and remember. Report In!
>>5 that is so lame! :P
You guys are going to an art gallery? Just you two?! Huh? Tell us!
GO FOR IT
GO FOR IT
Do shooting stars on a monitor count? XD
Anyways, good luck!
.....I just got that closure I was looking for....Earlier than expected, and not quite what I had anticipated.
I ran into Mr. X today at a restaurant that I frequent. I was seated facing the door, and when he walked in, my heart skipped a beat....and then stopped as he was followed by a woman holding his hand. It's no surprise that I suddenly had no desire to speak with him, but it wasn't like I could hide. He noticed me and came over to introduce me to the woman, who, indeed, was his girlfriend. I greeted them as casually as possible, even though I felt like I could hardly breathe. When they found out I was alone, they asked to sit with me. Although every fiber of my being was screaming “HELL NO,” I, of course, politely said yes. At the first opportunity I had, I made up a BS excuse that I had to be somewhere, then got the hell outta dodge.I contemplated calling Cyan, but then I felt selfish and fickle, so I didn't. However, when I got home, as if he were reading my mind from afar, he called me. I've never been so happy to hear his cheerful, broken English.
>>9 well, all the power to Cyan ^^
And that was quite some closure, definitive and firm. In a sense, it will be a liberation for you, even if in the meantime it's painful.
I just realized something. When Cyan called me last night, he asked if I had eaten dinner yet. I was still too fuzzy from the run-in with Mr.X to think straight, so I simply said that I had and didn't really think about it. But thinking back on it...he might've been trying to ask me on a date.
Should I bring this up next time I see him?
>>11 Sure, why not, I think it will be good for both of you ^^
Instead of just coming out and saying "HEI, did you try to ask me out the other day?" since i thought that'd be a little too straight forward....i decided to return the sentiment, if you will. There's a small local carnival going on that I've been wanting to go to, so I asked him if he would like to come. He said yes. We're going tomorrow afternoon.
keep us updated, please!!!!!!!!
Anything new happen Soul?
sorry I haven't updated, guys! I got swept up in eveything that has been happening lately.
Well, Cyan and I went to the fair and had a great time. We talked in and about @#$%&nese while we munched on a funnel cake. He chuckled when I made mistakes in grammar or pronunciation and would give me pointers on 'shortcuts' and proper pronunciations. It didn't feel like a date, but regardless I had tons of fun.
A couple weeks ago I visited Mr. X, and I was happy to find that my knees no longer shook and my heart rate stayed the same when I was around him.
Cyan and I have been hanging out a lot more. I visited him at work one day when business was slow and had a long chat with him, where we discovered that we both share an interest in a certain sport. With the semester coming to a close soon, the time between our meetings might be longer than usual, so he brought up the idea that we should practice together.
Other than that, nothing particularly exciting has happened... but if anything comes up i'll be sure to write.