Getting Over the One that Wasn't (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-17 04:20 ID:h0t2hW6Q

This past summer was my first summer after graduating from college. I've been bumming out at my folks place as I wait on a gov't job. During the summer I met up with and started dating a girl I went out with in high school for about 2 weeks. Over the summer we ended up dating for about 5 weeks. This was a girl I'd always wanted another chance with, and I got it. I'm 23 and this was the most serious relationship I'd been in to this point. I didn't date at all in college. It was a lot of firsts, first kiss, first make out, first sex, etc. At the end of summer she moved about 3 hours away for school and the next week I spent the weekend at her place, this was the first time we slept together. A week later she broke up with me, telling me she didn't feel the way about her that I did. Truthfully I had been thinking more longterm at that point, I really thought she was the one, we just got along so well and understood each other, or so I thought. She said she wasn't torn up when I left and I got the feeling she wasn't falling in love with me and she wasn't going to. Unfortunately I think I already had. We tried the friends thing but eventually she didn't have time for me, got tired of me, and we had a fight and now don't talk.

Anyway, its 3 months since we broke up, and I'm trying to get myself back in the game. Which is ridiculous considering I was lucky just to have that one relationship, and it was someone I already knew. Now there's no single cute girls left in this town that I know. An attractive girl that lives about 30 minutes away friended me through an app on facebook and I took the plunge and started messaging her. We ended up messaging each other for days and I finally said I'd like to hang out with her sometime. She agreed and I left it to her to choose the place and time as she's far busier with school and work.

My problem is I see this girl, or any other girl and I think they just aren't as beautiful as my ex. I can't get her image out of my mind sometimes, and it angers me to no end knowing she already has a new boyfriend. I think I'm trying to get another girl just so I can feel like I've broken away from her, but thats not fair for the other person. Not to mention I'm definitely moving across the country in as little as 2 months, or as many as, well god knows, stupid government. What the heck is going on with me? I feel like I'd rather have never gone out with my ex, I feel completely different now, like there's a hole in my heart I'm desperately trying to fill.

2 Name: XCDXER0 : 2008-11-17 04:32 ID:l3p/mEN+

hey man that's good to hear that you will be going out with a girl 30 minutes away. 30 minutes isn't bad at all!
well your issue lies in that 2 months and your gone. Hopefully the girl knows that so both of you can plan accordingly if you 2 get serious of course.

Maybe this girl is a hole to plug up your sadness, maybe she isn't. Cherish what precious little time you have with a girl who is willing to give up time for you. If it doesn't work out, you can always be her friend, a shoulder to lean on.

You're obviously not completely over your ex but there is no real rush. let it gradually grow away, but from experience after finding someone new whether i wanted to heal the sadness, it made me really forget the pain involved with my ex. Girls come and go, and there is no way you can take what happened in the past and change it. Just keep living and moving on with a smile on your face rather than a worried frown about a lost past.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-17 05:10 ID:h0t2hW6Q

>>2
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'd definitely let anyone that I thought I would be dating know that I'm eventually going to be gone. Really I just want to have fun and be happy, probably the same as anyone else.

After I typed out my first post there I realized that this is the first time in over 5 years that I'm actually putting myself out there. High school was disappointing relationship wise, and there was so few girls at my college and the competition for them so rough, I decided to stop putting my heart on the line and just focus on school. I guess my summer relationship made me a little stronger now that I'm back putting my heart in harm's way as it were. Its just rough losing someone that seemed so perfect for you, even worse that I feel like we're on pretty awful terms now.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-18 06:16 ID:h0t2hW6Q

OP here, not to completely change topics, but as this is all about moving on from my ex, anyone have advice on meeting strangers? I can understand say, a cute girl in a bookstore, ask her for reading suggestions etc... But what if its a situation like where she's an employee somewhere, like a hostess at a restaurant? I can never think of ways to approach girls in those situations that isn't stupid/creepy as hell.

While I'm a nice guy and I can make friends, I'm not real good with strangers, usually I make friends through friends or contacts. So advice is welcome, especially for specific situations.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-19 02:44 ID:rAgvCg84

As long as you think it's creepy to approach attractive girls who show some interest (eye contact, etc), in whatever situation, no specific tips will help you.

6 Name: ThebeginningofthEnd : 2008-11-19 05:16 ID:Heaven

>>5 true, just accept your fate. Rape girls, go to prison and become the villain. You already have your tragic secret origin right here on 4-ch!

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.