height and insecurity (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-29 04:10 ID:4iW0waIt

I'm a 24 year old guy, 5'2", virgin, never had a girlfriend. Every time I try to get a girl I get friend zoned or told no, and even had a couple of traumatic experiences where I was lied to or had my emotions toyed with. I'm not antisocial or hate people, but my past experiences and physical appearance have now crippled my self-esteem, and it's made me timid and wary of others. I'm damn near convinced that I'll never find love, not with the way I look. I've now sunk into a year-long depression after the last time I tried to find a relationship, and sometimes I feel like it's only a matter of time before I hurt myself because of all this.

Where do I go from here? What am I doing wrong? I'm not a total asshole, and I'm actually a pretty nice guy. I just happen to look like a high school freshman.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-29 09:26 ID:vV/Y1N7C

First you need to realize that it's not your appearance but your poor social skills that prevent you from having friends and relationships,... Trust me, if you were outgoing and charismatic, your height would not be a show stopper.

The good news is that social skills can be improved, contrary to height. So that's what you should concentrate on: increase your social circuit by making more friends, and this will give your more opportunities to start a relationship. As for making friends, the key is to find people with the same interests as you and with whom you can have fun and spend a good time.

3 Name: WestCoast : 2008-11-29 10:38 ID:4ica0olm

First off, considering hurting yourself shouldn't even be an option, let alone an inevitability. Don't think that. At all. Now or ever.

>2 has a pretty good idea of how to go about things. Do you have friends that you hang out with? Chances are that they have other friends that they hang out with who'd be more than willing to find more people to hang out with. That's where you come in.

Introduce yourself, find some things out about your newfound acquaintances, talk about hobbies - the whole shebang. There's a possibility that someone of the opposite gender may find your qualities interesting and may want to find out more.

As the poster above me has stated, your height should be the last thing on their minds if your charisma is through the roof. It won't be an intimidating factor to them unless you make it so; and believe you me - they can sense it like a lion senses raw meat.

As cliche as it sounds, the best course of action would be to try to immerse yourself so deep into conversation or what have you that your height doesn't become an issue to either of you.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-29 22:17 ID:nN0VIlg7

how about googling : how to get women
Ya noob

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-29 22:36 ID:Heaven

Find a girl, ask her out:

  • Be confident, fake it otherwise. Tell her about your hobbies, something you are good at.
  • Compliment her on her goodlooks or something, but don't get too "fake" or submissive. like :" that your real hair color?" she will reply no, in which you say: "well most good things aren't". (works,trust me)
  • Punish any unwanted behaviour(rude remark,talking other guys), not by making a scene but straight up ignoring her or changing the subject immediately.
  • Don't be an asshole, and let it made clear that it is a date. At the end of the date, you have to more feel it you are going in for the kiss. Look for signs,etc.

This works best for one night stands, or just chicks you wanna have fun with and dump em.

Relationships is another deal, because eventually the real you turns up. So go with this first, earn some experience. goodluck

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-01 09:26 ID:RRf7oBvz

Wow, my verification code was "tall" how humiliating for the both of us eh OP ~_~? Anyhow, I posted in another thread about height and to be blunt, height really does matter. If you pay attention to most couples, the guy is usually taller than the girl, and the guy would be around at least 178 cm of height.

Well anyhow, sorry to bring in my negativity, but I think height does matter and even though I'm a few inches taller than you, I still want to be at least 6'0 but its not gonna happen.

The best shallow way to hide your insecurity is to get lots of money! @_T

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-01 09:36 ID:nKlSk9Pp

-> 6 is exactly the type of girl you wouldn't want anyway (i certainly don't).

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-01 20:40 ID:cKbIIA+D

>>7 you're mostly right, but she's entitled to her opinions, which do matter.

Fortunately there are enough people in the world with differing tastes, so this is a non issue.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-07 09:05 ID:RRf7oBvz

I think if you read poster #6 carefully, its a guy trying to express his own insecurities about height and how he wishes to be taller.

To not digress however, height does matter if we were to generalize this matter. Why does it matter? Well through my experiences, I can make a general claim that 80% of men and women are to some degree superficial and shallow about exterior looks.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-07 13:37 ID:ClDysi6g

>>9
Perhaps, but you don't go out with 80% of people. Besides, height is a factor among many. Even someone for whom it might be an issue might care more about other things.

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