What's going on in her head?! (14)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 03:27 ID:BSCLctic

So, recently, love trouble hit me hard, when my girlfriend announced that she has fallen in love with another person and that she is breaking up with me in order to start a relationship with him.

Well, I'm a principled person, and although I am hurt, I am not going to be a possessive prick about it or turn it into a feud. I'm just going to let it go, have my period of mourning, and move on with life. Whether or not we stay friends is undecided...

However, it's looking pretty unlikely. On her part, she has NOT made this break-up very easy: she has been constantly angry at me across the whole thing of wrapping up the relationship. Seriously: the other morning she calls me at about 8:00am and starts yelling at me, and the first thing she says: "Why don't you just leave me alone? Why don't you just get over it all? Don't be such a little douche!!!" ...This is odd, because I haven't called her but once and have not once begged her to come back or harass her about it. When I came to get my stuff at her house and give her Christmas present to her, she had this sour scowl on her face the entire time, watching my every move as I gathered my things. When I gave her the Christmas gift, she gave me my Christmas present (she had bought it already) by shoving it into my hands and going "Well, here it is, if you still want it... (snort)"

I smiled softly, and said "Of course I want it. Thank you so much. Take care." As I turned around to leave, she stood between me and the door and said "So, I guess we're never talking again?! You're just gonna throw out the friendship we had before we dated? Throw me out of your life? I dunno, it SOUNDS PRETTY TEMPTING!" Calmly, I said "Now, I never said that, did I? Listen, I'll call you later when things have settled..." and with that, she goes "I GUESS THAT'S A YES?!!! God... why are you such a dick?..." and ran upstairs crying.

Well, last night, I get phone call from her, but I really don't feel like talking- I'm in the middle of final exams, after all, and I just feel like minimizing the drama at the moment- and she leaves a voice mail. Later, when I listened to it, I got an earful about how I'm a wussbag and that I "better not even THINK about laying a finger on [her new boyfriend], you fucking psycho!!!" (blink blink) Uhhh... whenever did I say I felt any animosity towards him? It's your decision, not his or mine. Besides, what would I gain from it?

I just don't get it; I never saw her act like this at all when we were in a relationship, even up to the night we broke up. It's like dealing with an entirely different person; this is NOT the woman I dated and loved. And I have been nothing but faithful, loving, and helpful to her as both friends and lovers, and she admitted that to me the night we broke up. However, now she is treating me like a psychopathic, clingy, jealous boyfriend who won't leave her alone (when that's exactly what I've been trying to do!!!). Is she feeling guilty? Is she going insane? I don't know... but all I know is I could get over this much quicker if she would just shut up. OMFG she's calling me again...

2 Name: Otakun : 2008-12-09 03:39 ID:qAyR23Pa

Grils like that scare me... I'm going to run away now and hide under a cardboard box in the corner... Don't check if I'm inside there and call reinforcements kay?

She's confusing me terribly too... Does she want ou to fight for her? Or does she want you to leave with feelings or terror rather than sadness... Either way... I'm scared! ; _ ;

Hope she doesn't turn into a stalker >_<

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 03:50 ID:BSCLctic

LOL... well, yeah, she's so confusing because like I said, she NEVER acted this way while we were dating. She was always so sweet, lovable, perky, considerate, and thoughtful... and then a week into our break-up she becomes this monster.

As an aside note, I think I've ruled out it being her new boyfriend that's driving her to do it: I've known him for a long time and know that he's a very shy, passive individual who doesn't take part in manipulative, conniving behavior. I'm almost certain this behavior is independent is all from her.

As for "fighting" for her, I dunno... if she wants me to get over her soooo badly, why is she making doing so such a hell?

4 Name: Otakun : 2008-12-09 05:11 ID:qAyR23Pa

I dunno, maybe she's dropping weirdly obvious hints? Or she could be under a Geass >_>

Her boyfriend could be a Lelouch in disguise!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 05:28 ID:W83TGTCa

Your best bet is just to ignore her threats, as you've been doing so far. Sounds like she's looking for a specific attitude from you, a butthurt attitude to be specific. It's incredibly petty. It also sounds like she's not over you quite yet, which would also explain why she's playing hard to get like this.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 07:09 ID:Wh0eWfI7

I'll say it's both guilt and displacement of feelings. She wants to move on to this new guy she likes, but she also wants you to feel hurt so that she can feel like the previous relationship was special and A Big Deal. Or something.

Just keep your distance. She's not herself. Wait until she grows up a little.

7 Name: Harumi : 2008-12-09 09:52 ID:6EBdyeiM

I think you got to cut clean from her once and for all. She wants to have the feeling that you still pine for her so it'll make her feel wanted yet she wants to go off from another person. I think it's pathetic. There're other more fish in the ocean, so chin up (:

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 11:58 ID:BuzBjcN4

omg, poor you.. i hope she leaves you alone any time soon!
Have you tried to tell her that she is making all the stuff up? maybe she has been manipulating her current bf and is trying to smoother it up while accusing you, to look innocen to him.

Stay strong, stranger!

9 Name: Berserker : 2008-12-09 12:34 ID:JF3n6+0W

Well, I think that the girl just can't take in the fact that you guys broke up and the way I see it, she's too much attached to the thought of you guys breaking and so for a second, she just thinks that she could get you jealous...but the way you handled things were just right. You'll find another one...

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 19:23 ID:cxqte+07

>>7
OP here

I am inclined to agree; it seems my girl wants to have her cake and eat it too, and feel wanted by both me and him in order to boost her ego and stave off feelings of guilt by making ME look like the bad guy in her own mind.

God, this breaks my heart... I loved her so much and gave everything I had for her... but I know I can't give in to bullshit like this, so I guess I'll just lose her. Fuck this shit.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-09 19:33 ID:1QN8gVrp

Yup, looks like she's insecure: she wants her new love, but can't really accept that she broke her previous relationship. I guess she involuntarily expects a big fight as some sort of closure. Just keep some distance from her for a while, until the dust settles.

Hopefully you can patch up beyond this. Although her behavior is not commendable, she's also not having fun with the whole thing. Like others said, she needs to grow up, and that does not depend on you.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-10 09:05 ID:In/0OWK1

Look at it this way, you got rid of her so you don't have to deal with her bullshit. My ex friend was like that. We broke twice actually, the first she ended because she wasn't sure about the relationship. But right after the break up, random text, calls and she would find any reason to be with me. Eventually we got back together, but she soon started to act weird and basically disinterested in me, so I decided to end it. The same thing started to happen, she would follow me around, try to talk to me, etc. This time I just ignored the fuck out of her and eventually she got the hint that I didn't want to deal with her bullshit. Was she mad? Fuck yea, I would hear from my friends the constant bitching she would do. Did I feel bad? Nope. Shit about a month later I met my future fiancee and I couldn't be happier (she has huge tits)

My point is, that bitch is crazy. Just ignore her and by ignore, refuse to acknowledge her. She wants to play games, but you are above that. So until she learns to behave rationally (which will be never) she is not worth your time. Let her bitch, let her moan, let her make shit up, but just drop her. And if she tries to come back, just remember how crazy she is and don't take her.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-10 18:09 ID:khDa6Uj1

>>Does she want you to fight for her?

I think it's probably that.

That, or she's craving for some attention (all girls are) in the form of you not cutting clean like this (she probably feels "ignored" somehow).

From the way OP describes her comportment, I read it more as a "wtf I leave you for another one, don't play it the cool guy and make me look even worse than I already do" than as "I'm dating this other guy but I feel guilty because I still love you".

That said, right now she's being a manipulative (pardon the word) bitch, as an addition to the fact she broke up with you for another. Don't bother, ignore her/block communications, and maybe try to talk to her in a few monthes when shit has stop falling.

14 Name: feitizero : 2008-12-10 23:16 ID:W83TGTCa

>>13

Fuck that, I'd keep away from her for good.

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