Long story short, I'm in love with my best friend.
We both have severe trust issues, but we trusted each other. We know everything about each other, problem is I fell in love with her.
She asked me today if I liked her, and feeling bold I said yes.
Afterward we got into an argument where she kept saying i'm wasting my time etc etc.
I think she thinks that the only reason I got close to her is to date her.
I am hurting right now /love/. As I said, she isn't the only one with trust issues. First person I've ever trusted and this happens.
Advice on what I should do? She has so far just ignored me everytime I tried to communicate with her.
She not only has trust issues but apparently self-respect issues too. She thinks she isn't worthy to be your gf, and is so embarassed that she can't even look you in the eye any more, right?
Try to think from her perspective, you know her better than anyone else probably. Would she behave like this if she didn't like you?
I forgot to add that I already told her once, and she rejected me.
She says i'm wasting my time because she isn't going to go out with me. She is saying that there is no point in helping her, because I like I said she probably thinks that I only gained her trust and friendship to go out with her.
>I think she thinks that the only reason I got close to her is to date her.
>she probably thinks that I only gained her trust and friendship to go out with her.
Pardon me if I'm being terribly naive now, but what if you'd just explicitly let her know this is not the case? Let her know that first and foremost she's your friend, and you're just as surprised about having fallen in love with her as she is?
I know you mentioned trust issues, but I still think it would be good to tell her this, whether she believes it or not.
I told her that. She continues to ignore me.
I see. That's unfortunate.
(I'm sorry for not being more help.)
Ungrateful girl. Stop wasting your time and go for another girl.
>>7
I think that's a bit harsh on her. She has a problem that the OP would understand.
How to regain the trust of someone who usually doesn't trust people?
Like I said, I don't know the answer. I'd think of being gentle and patient, maybe apologizing for being inappropriate, and gradually rebuilding your friendship. I'd think that if you want her to believe you are sincere in wanting to be her friend, it would be a good idea to mostly try to be her friend, at least for the time being.
Then again, there's friend zone and everything...
I'm sorry, I can only make naive suggestions for problems like this.
I agree with >>7 this girl doesn't have self-respect issues, in fact, from what it sounds she doesn't respect YOU. You're "wasting your time" trying it on with Princess Awesome?
Move on and you'll never look back.
Also
>>8
Apologising for being attracted a a girl? Seeing as OP can sit upright to type, I'm assuming he has some spine. Do not apologise if you ever want her to respect you.
>>10
(Having a spine... I wonder what that's like.)
Unfortunately, I've given up my spine. I would really do anything short of raising the dead to get her back, just even as a friend...
And right now I really don't know what I feel. I don't know if i'm angry at her for not understanding me, or depressed because she has 'left me'
A little more about our "Friendship" I've helped her with every little problem she's ever had. Whenever we talk, we talk about her and her problems. I've given her advice on everything from relationships and sex to how to how to become happy. Never once have I complained to her or anything, or got her help to any problems.
Dude, do you know what my mistake in a relationship was?. I was so stuck to liking to one girl for years while believing that she might be the one for me and in the end, she rejected me. I was disappointed. I wasted high school and university years just to get one girl. I was a fool. Don't walk on the same path.
Plus it was good for you to know sooner anyway. Now you can get on with your life and go for another girl.
i feel for you op, but i agree with >>13
if she has trust issues, but she trusted you as her adviser, then all she saw you as was "my really helpful FRIEND" you pretty much got filed under 'friend' and overstepped the friend boundary.
It's pretty obvious you've been friend-zoned. From personal experience, there's no way out of that. You're better off looking somewhere else for love, because all you'll find is anguish if you keep insisting to yourself that you can win her back, even though you never had her at all.
Yeah, it's supposed to hurt, and it's not easy. But get her out of your system through any means that you can, even if it means not talking to her. Believe me when I say that I empathize with you, but you'll be better off in the long run.
You are absolutely correct. Do not ever apologize. It's your true feeling. If she doesn't appreciate that, then stuff that.
Like others had said, Go get another g/f!! I haven't got one myself, but I want to make sure I'm a little loaded on the financial side before I begin the HUNT :)
just reconize that you had some good times together but that was in the past. so move on with your life.