a common problem (4)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-19 08:00 ID:LQeBjQI1

There's this girl I know. Since I'm posting here, you guys can probably guess how I feel about that. We got to know each other through mutual friends, hit it off, et cetera, et cetera. Except! In all of those instances in which we hit it off, it was in a group setting. Lately, we've been getting lunch with each other at least once a week, during which we just... talk.

And that's my problem. Not the talking part, that's pretty great, but the conversations. She tends to dominate the conversation, and I tend to merely listen, and I found that alright until she brought up a point that she didn't like being treated differently, as in, nicer or whatever, by guys that seem to be interested in her. That led me to think as to how I acted around her when we're talking, as opposed to when we're in a group. Generally, I'm much more comfortable and tend to act more bombastic in a group setting while I'm much, much quieter with only her.

And that's because I don't know what to say. I mumble. I stutter. I say things that don't really apply to what she's talking about. So I'm asking the denizens of /love/...

(this also applies as a tl;dr to people who don't really care about my story)

How do you get comfortable talking to a girl one-on-one?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-19 12:11 ID:1zZgdU64

Just act how you normally would. If you can think past her as an object to be desired or sought or some very attractive girl, etc., then you can start to think of her as a human, or a mind on the same level, I suppose, as you, though that would depend upon your respective intelligences. As for how you'd do this, if you can't do it straight away, then spending more time with her will gradually lead to you putting more trust in her, etc., and eventuating in your being able to talk to her normally.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-19 14:20 ID:mTRJH6pG

Like >>2 says:
You need to learn to socialize with your partner, which obviously is totally different from a group situation. Like always, the best in those situations is to do something that both of you enjoy, so that you forget the stress of the one to one situation and start bonding without effort: listen to music you both like, same for movies, or any outdoors/indoors activity. This is like learning to walk or to bike, practice makes perfect

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-20 02:44 ID:LQeBjQI1

I just find it very, very odd that I'm fine around her when there's someone else we know around.

Yeah, I'm the OP.

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