Okay, so here's the deal in "short". I met this girl like year and half ago when on vacation abroad. Could say that the chemistry between us worked pretty well and I did fall in love with her. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I spent the best time of my life with her back then. For those weeks I really felt alive, as before I never really had girl to hang out with. I've had some girls but things never really worked out with them.

And as always, time is limited so I had to return home as I was going to attend military service for the next year. Kept in touch with this girl by calling her whenever I just could for the whole year and up till now. So everything seems to be well for us? Not exactly since here comes the problem.
Se makes my world go round, and of course I had to promise her that I come back to see her again this year. I thought that maybe three of four months as some sort of part-time job with my current savings would be enough for me to get back at least by the end of march. I thought that if I just saw her again I would be able to "start over" with the time to gather the money to get her to move in with me.

But due to unforeseen problems with life, employment and basically my whole financial situation everything is going to shit now. I'm running short on time, and everything I try only seems to make me get further from her.
I can only blame myself for this situation, as I do admit that falling in love with girl from abroad is more than stupid when I don't have stable income for a year. But then again, I really feel that if I go and tell her that I can't come back to her for whatever the reason, I will crush her dreams and most likely make her lose it all. I'm not saying that I'm the guy for her, the prince in the shining armor, but I know from her past that she has had problems more that I ever could imagine yet still she's been able to hold onto life. Not going to details here as it's too much of an offtopic.

So now I'm sitting here all alone with the only thing that has been with me through all those years with no good social contact, my computers. But out there is a girl just waiting for me to come back to her and make her dreams come true. And I want to do that, since I think she would make my life so much better.

I know that if someone even bothers to give a reply, s/he would just tell me to leave this girl, get my life back on the tracks, find someone closer to me (like, from the same country at least!) and go on with my life. While this would be the ideal situation, I don't want to do it. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone but having gf abroad, another race, class or anything, it's simply just that I fell in love with her like no one else before.
So all I'm asking is that unless I work it all out or win in a lottery or something, how am I going to do this? How can I tell her, a girl that already has been waiting for me over a year, that I can't be back by march? I think it might be possible to tell het to get there by april, but would that really change anything?

Just tell her what's going on. Sure, it'll disappoint her and maybe even hurt her a little.. but if you're right, and the two of you really do belong to each other, you don't really have any other option better than trying to talk to her about it.

If either of you aren't willing to tough it out and be patient with each other, it's not going to work out in the long run. Ideally, she'll wait for you and understand that with this kind of distanced relationship, it's unreasonable to expect things to go perfectly. This understanding is important, especially with long distance relationships.

if she really loves you, the time matters only very little. She will continue waiting for you, specially as she is feeling the same about you. Just be honest with her and see how things go! Honesty matters so much you know!
Good luck OP!:]

Like the others say, be more open with her about the situation. It's not fun, but there's no reason she should not be aware of it, that's what being in a couple means, you also share your problems.

Isn't it possible to still do a shorter stay?

Thanks for all the answers folks, really appreciate your input.

First I'd like to say that I try to be as honest with her as I can, as I do believe that lies can always be traced back and they do only cause misery to someone in the end. So I understand I should just tell her how I feel about the situation now. I guess that just putting the whole thought aside until march wouldn't be good, as I guess she would think that I'm lying to her by doing this. Yet also I'm not sure how to tell her exactly, as for the first time in my life I have something at stake here.

I have been told before that true love will survive through hard times. Being not able to see her for over a year now I do understand what all this means. I hope that as she's been waiting for me this whole time she would still be able to wait some more.
But at times I think to myself that is this all really too much to ask for? You see, after we met it was only like couple of weeks that we spent together and next thing I'm asking is for her to wait for me there for over a year. Sounds kinda unreasonable to me, but she told me that she could do it. And for that I am graceful more than I have words.

>>4 Isn't it possible to still do a shorter stay?

The problem here is not about how long time can I stay with her next time, it's about when I can be with her. The distance we're talking here is thousands of kilometers, more than 10 hours of travelling - by plane. That said, just seeing her for, let's say one week, would financially be the same for me than spending a whole month there. Actually my idea was to be with her that month kind of like making this all waiting up to her as I'm not so sure when I could return to her again.

Tonight it's too late to call her, but I will do so tomorrow. Guess I should ask her how she would feel if I told her that I couldn't be back for the time frame I gave her before.

So what will change in one year that is not possible now?

>But at times I think to myself that is this all really too much to ask for? You see, after we met it was only like couple of weeks that we spent together and next thing I'm asking is for her to wait for me there for over a year. Sounds kinda unreasonable to me, but she told me that she could do it. And for that I am graceful more than I have words.

If you wonder if it's too much to ask for and if it's unreasonable, that's something you should also talk to her about. It seems like you're still very unsure how the immediate future will be between the two of you, so it'd be good to ask.

If either of you realize there isn't a strong enough interest in each other, then it would be unreasonable. If, however, both of you decide there's a strong enough interest, then she should naturally make the commitment to endure and wait for you, and you'll be given the chance to show your own commitment and work hard to meet her again.

I hope nobody minds me bumping my thread back to life, since there have been some changes for better.

Today I bought plane tickets! I'm so happy atm I could explode! Haven't talked with my gf yet, but I did send her sms. No answers, but I guess it's just that she can't use her cell in work. Finally I know how I'm going to deal with the matter so far.

So... I'm going to spend the whole May with her. Before I asked what she thought about coming back in May, and all she said was like "I don't really want that you change the date, but I do understand your situation. And after all, all I want it to see you again." I'm so grateful to have girl like her.

I thought that engaging her would be the best way to show my affection and to tell her that I'm serious about her. Good idea?

I think it's not a bad idea, depending on how you are doing in your relationship. I suggest you wait two weeks in May so that you get your relationship back and running, and then - if you think it's appropriate - you talk about engagement.

Engagement can be quite a powerful tool in a LDR.

First of all, I'm not sure if my ID has changed because I've changed my OS. But I'm the same guy, still in pretty much the same situation, lol.

I've been back to my home country for about three weeks now, still thinkg about last month I spent with my gf. At the same time I feel great happiness and great sadness. For once again future is kinda dark - for not knowing about the next visit to her. But what I do know, or more likely have decided, is that next time I will bring her with me here. I know that will more than double the budget, but that's only money, right?

So as I said before, I thought about engagement, and here I'm sitting with golden ring in my finger. But the thing that really made me happy was the look in her eyes when I popped the question. And not only that, her relatives approved me when I had something to show my affection and to-be commitment to her with.

But given that everything is fine between us, this leads me to another "problem". My parents/siblings. What the heck is the right approach to tell that I have gf in far-away country, not knowing the exact date we'll see again? Ofc I have photos (both printed and digital) to show them, but I'm quite sure still to face not only questions after questions, but maybe even some not-so-good attitudes. I think that if they would meet my gf face-to-face in the first place, it would all be okay since she's the most adorable person I've ever met, but now only thing I have is photograph of her.
While I do understand that it's "my life, my rules" I still think something as major as engagement should be shared to my own family. As a note, we live separate so none of them has seen my ring so far, not that I would be hiding it anyway.

And as I stated in my first post, I have been quite useless around girls in the past, I fear that they would just think that I've found someone in the Internet and would think she loves me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid? Making stuff up, making it all sound worse than it really is.

So as far as I can see, your problem is your family reaction.

The easiest would probably be to wait for her to come, and then present her to the family. But since you want to share your will to engage her with them (which is legitimate), you have no choice but to go ahead now.

Don't overthink it. You can think about the many ways in which it can go wrong, and it would be a waste of time. Just do it, and then deal with it. With a bit of luck, there won't be any issues at all, and you will have saved yourself a lot of trouble.