There was this guy. What we both had in common was both of us liked anime. The Primary reason we became friends.
Then, He even helped me to prepare for my exams and gave me question papers; even gave me anime series.
We had good times.
But lately I see him tensed. Because he has a lot to study.
He yells at me; not literally but sometimes the words he types don't seem soft and he seems not as friendly as before.
he seems unpredictable.
He is someone who means a lot to me;
He motivated me to study well.
But because of what's going on lately; I feel like I should keep away from him.
What do I do?
Just be honest about your concern and ask directly about the problem.
In bringing this up, reference your history,thus reminding him of trust and bonds.
Be careful and direct, do not overstate your affection, but declare your depth of love to break his walls if he is alone (e.g. brother, bff, heartache).
Be careful girl, don't let life twist him but know when to give up on him.
>>2 I would; but he seems grouchy even in normal conversation lately.
The level of Japanese he is on; he's under pressure because of that.
I think I'll just keep away from him for sometime.
Confront him, don't run away. Misunderstandings can lead to bad, bad results.
>>4 Confronting him....There are two ways to do that; either in person or over the phone;
In person- I don't think I have enough time to do it in class;
*I only see him in his 15 minute break; which he needs to eat :(
*On the phone: It looks like he doesn't want to talk to me.
Like I mentioned earlier; he's been a great friend
Apart from giving me question papers to prepare; anime series to watch;
He also called me back after a trip to Japan he made.
He even sat with me after class and spoke for a very long time about Japanese history.
Which really made me happy that there was someone who knew this much.
1) He is a nice person who is being grouchy for a month now
This change is one of the reason I don't know if I should confront him or not.
2) I don't know how he mas misunderstood me for that change to happen.
3) I don't know if he would listen. If he would understand.
Could there be a possibility he's probably misunderstood me already ?
Because he said he's not my sempai anymore.
The confrontation; How should I start?
I think you made it clear he was friend and sempai, but if sempai no longer applies, try actually treating him as an equal. ; )
Be fair, what does he treat you as? An annoying sis or a lover? He may want more or need to talk over some event; you'd be surprised how often a relationsip can be misconstrued. J/E, I know the type. ;)
BTW, be certain to tell him to talk to you sometime, but be mature about it.
Don't just leave it as is, but don't cower or obsess. After that any problem is his fault.
sorry if i'm wrong....
from what i read...
you two haven't been a lover yet... am i right?
just tell him you cared for him...
tell the truth...
and tell him sorry to bother him so much in his study...
even if you really cared for him...
ask him out dor lunch or dinner on weekend just to tell him you are more than just care for him.... tell him how are your true feelings.
for me, there is a special treat for my lover than only being a close friend~ so, sometimes when i busy, i would just ignore or block my annoying friend but i'll take my time to explain the reason why i'm busy just for my GF... and it works fine~
>>6 Equal sounds fine :)
>>7 How do I do that? How do I ask him to talk?
Lately he doesn't even respond to any kind of message; be it chat or text message.
No cowering or obsessing here. But sure; I won't leave it as it is.
The thing is he's studious and he's letting the tension of the class get the better of him...
That is the reason for this sudden change; I'm worried about him
>>8 No we aren't lovers;
We aren't the kind who could possibly be.
It's better for both of us if it were to be just friends; let time decide if it should change...
But it would be nice if he wasn't so distant as he is now.
i'm >>8 poster~
is it okay for you to be just his "friend"?
won't it hurt you for not doing your best to express how much you cared for him?
>>10 I think I'd rather remain as a friend;
It can't be anything more even if I wanted it to;
Because he ain't that kind.
If I want it to be what I want it to be;
would/wouldn't that be inconsiderate?
Yeah it hurts I can't express;
It's not like I won't; I just can't; at the moment.
>>10 When I called him yesterday; He didn't answer the phone.
Came back after watching TV an hour later; I saw 2 missed calls from him.
Did the math; he called 15 minutes after I left the phone.
hmm...
it's okay to be true about your feelings.
and i think it's better for you to tell him than hurting yourself.
i don't think he would be hurt if he knows about it.
>>12
i bothers your feelings right?
don't let it stressed you out so you can move on without hesitation and regrets.
^^ but... it's up to you... you have you own timing all i can do is just backing you up~ ^^
oops... >i bothers your feelings right?
i mean "IT bothers your feelings right?"
sorry 'bout that~
>>13 Thank you for backing me up. I'm happy you understand...
>>13 Just back me up a little while longer; atleast till I see where this is going? I'll see him on Sunday.
This is my first time with this sort of thing you see...
maybe u can gently tell him u will leave him because u rnt happy with him. he might realise how bad he was to u and become better then.
yelling at u is a big problem. probably he gets pressured by u though u dont think u havent done anything wrong to him.
whats "pressure"? well, guys usually feel they always have to be a "very nice, strong, and smart guy to u"
yelling and being nice is contradicting but it happens.
dont tell him anything like "i love u so much, give me a hug". he will get more pressure.
>>17 I've been thinking about it; and I think I'll wait...
I have a feeling everything's gonna be fine :)
>>17 Guess what? Yesterday, he said he was sorry he yelled at me :)
Stop reading into his behavior and just be supportive. He'll appreciate it.
he just have some ups and down. just understand him for a while ^_^