Quick question hear. (21)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-23 06:54 ID:40DhcQwT

Is it odd for a 26 year old male to have no experience with the opposite sex? As in no dates, kisses or anything else.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-23 08:05 ID:StMmtAik

It's not odd, it's just infrequent. Let's say you are in the minority. But then, geniuses and rich people are also a minority, and I don't think that's a problem.

Now if you tell me you have three eyes, green skin, and a horn in your forehead, then you qualify for odd ^_^

3 Name: sage : 2009-03-23 09:08 ID:3iqMGIoB

Is it odd, yes.

4 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-03-23 11:04 ID:xQex+00H

No, it just means you have no game.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-23 14:24 ID:UYSdoCKS

Not odd.

I'm on my way to that point as well. I'm just a bit behind you. I'm 19 and haven't been on a date, haven't held hands with, or kissed a girl.

It's not so much odd as it is unfortunate. Though, >>4 has a point, we have no game. It's broken. We got the relationship version of the red ring of death.

Look at the bright side, you're certainly not alone on this. Just check out this forum and you'll find you're in good company.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 06:49 ID:SyEGK33V

For what you lack in social experience, you surely make up for in some other part of your life, right?

7 Name: Otakun : 2009-03-24 07:54 ID:mymUOxJi

OP and >>5, you just have to get out there more and take more risks ^_^. All you gotta do is increase your will power more!

8 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-24 12:32 ID:iSrOuxUX

>>1

OP, me too. I'm approaching 25 this year and I have no experience in dating a girl. I nvr kiss and nvr hold hand either. I'm so dead -_-;

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 12:38 ID:cKEaA9b9

>>5

>>Look at the bright side, you're certainly not alone on this. Just check out this forum and you'll find you're in good company.

Quite. I'm 25 and also in OP's position. We'd all do well to keep in mind, though, that a site like this will probably generate skewed results on an informal poll. I don't think everyday civilians tend to flock to anonymous message boards, after all.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 16:22 ID:JtUf0h3x

>>9 great point. We're all odd. Suits me fine ^_^

11 Name: Underthecovers : 2009-03-24 23:56 ID:2vpJIGqS

no way.. i believe you guys have game. you guys just have to access it!!

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 00:57 ID:emvf5Qq9

why don't you have any now? do you like that fact or not like it? fuck our opinion. if your cool then cool. if not, then time to make some moves. you might want to change the question to "how can i...?"

>>9
true. i think the anon msg board is pretty novel concept though. just need to bring more people and get more diversity

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 14:59 ID:cKEaA9b9

>>12

>>why don't you have any now? do you like that fact or not like it?

Not the OP, but I've never been on a date because I'm scared shitless of women. Tried to get over it, but every time it feels like I'm starting to make progress, I just get beaten back even further down.

About 18 months ago, I thought I might have finally been able to ask a female out. She was a couple years younger than me, granted, but we'd been in a few classes together and she didn't seem completely repulsed by me. I started to think she might even possibly say "yes" if I asked if she wanted to get a cup of coffee with me.

Then, on the very day I had chosen to ask her out, I saw her making out with another guy. They were completely wrapped around each other. I sank like I'd been hit with a depth charge.

Within a week, I'd attempted suicide twice, and got myself so blitzed on alcohol that I started getting nightmarish hallucinations.

I've stabilized since then -- no further suicide attempts, though those two weren't the first. But now I can't even look at women as potential partners. All I see is that girl from 18 months ago. Anytime I come across a woman whom I might have been interested in, earlier in my life, all I can think of is how she'd probably cheat on me even if we ever wound up going out.

I wish, I wish I had a girlfriend, but I realize by this point that I'm pretty much fucked up beyond all hope. I know I'm going to die a dateless virgin, and that thought depresses me beyond belief, but there's nothing I can do about it except to wait patiently for the end.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 15:50 ID:StMmtAik

>>13 It seems to me that you are facing some issues deeper than not being able to date women. It's not normal to attempt suicide because of a failed date.

Are actually trying to address those issues? Otherwise, I fear that even if you found someone ready to go out with you, it would be a train wreck...

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 16:23 ID:cKEaA9b9

>>14

>>Are actually trying to address those issues?

I don't see how I can. I know that I probably ought to see a psychologist, but there's a huge stigma against that sort of thing where I live. Doctors are supposed to uphold patient confidentiality, but that doesn't mean much if your boss's friend sees you walk into the psych ward.

And in any event, my health insurance doesn't cover psychiatric care aside from pills.

As far as I can see, the only thing to do is live with it. When I'm stable, life's not too bad.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 16:42 ID:StMmtAik

>>15 So you're telling me that you have suicidal tendencies, but don't get professional help because the insurance doesn't pay and you might lose your job? Don't you have your priorities crossed?

This is something which is ruining your life, and may end up killing you. Don't you think you can devote some money to it? Also, I'm sure you can take precautions to avoid letting your boss know about it.

Anyways, your justifications are bizarre... If you had cancer, wouldn't you get treatment, even if that means spending money, or even risking losing your job?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 18:19 ID:cKEaA9b9

>>16

But the thing is, it's easier to leave things as they are. When I'm stable, it's easy to believe that perhaps this time I'm up for good, and there won't be another attack. And when I'm not stable, staying alive isn't exactly a priority.

Besides, spending money and risking the loss of my job are major risks when you consider that I don't know what it feels like to not have this problem. My first attempt was at age 9; I've lived with this all of my life. The commercials for anti-depressants talk about lifting the clouds and all that rubbish, but I don't understand what that means in actual, quality-of-life terms. What I have now is what I know.

And it's not bad all of the time. When I'm solidly up, like I am now, there's no real risk of my attempting suicide. When I'm solidly down, I don't even have the energy to lift a finger to type, much less take my own life. It's the transitional periods that are the problem, but if I enforce rigid self-discipline and avoid emotional shocks, I can usually get through those well enough.

It's when I'm in a transitional period and experience an emotional shock that I'm in trouble. 18 months ago, when I saw that girl kissing that guy, was an example. But given that these stars don't align often, and given the obstacles between me and treatment, it seems like the best course of action is to hold steady and try to stay above water.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 19:06 ID:StMmtAik

>>17 you don't need anti-depressents at the moment, since you are feeling all right. What you really need is to develop effective strategies to cope with crisis. I'm not sure you got that one. Everyone is fine in between crisis, and usually you don't commit suicide when you are feeling great. The problem is to find ways of managing the crisis, the very bad times. And perhaps this is where you could get some help.

And the problem with depression, is that it's cyclic. It will come again, you can be sure of that.

I don't think you specifically need to do anything at the moment, except if your fears block your life (girl dating, for instance). But when the next crisis comes, do get some professional help, no need to risk pain, damage or death for these kinds of things.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 21:46 ID:lTeVuEk2

Bitches aint shit. Yes, thats extreme, but so are most of the cases here. I'm trying to become more of an asshole personally, because women, strange as it may sound, like assholes. Assholes finish first. Read the Tucker Max website. Let it sink in. Yeah, he might be decrepit, but if some of that rubs off on us, what will the outcome be, averaging the two? I see a force to be reckoned with.

>>13

You saw that girl making out with someone else? Fuck her, shes a slut, and we don't want no sluts. Right? NEXT IN LINE

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 23:10 ID:4CpX0HzB

>I'm trying to become more of an asshole personally, because women, strange as it may sound, like assholes.

Cool, one competitor less to get the girls ^_^ Have fun being an asshole, you seem to have enough bitterness to fill the rest of your days.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-26 00:55 ID:cKEaA9b9

>>18

>>I don't think you specifically need to do anything at the moment, except if your fears block your life (girl dating, for instance).

How would I determine if my fears are interfering with my life?

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.