Girl likes me... but a crazy guy likes HER... (14)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 03:05 ID:1PJqY0gF

Okay, so I've got a predicament and I am not sure how to handle this... This girl- we'll call her "A"- I've known for off and on across my life (she was a friend of friends) and I have grown closer, and recently she admitted that I was "adorable" and wants to "finally get to know [me] after all these years". Shwueeeet. She likes anime, Scottish culture, gothic/industrial music, left-wing politics... fuck yeah she's awesome.

However, I have a problem: we have a mutual friend of ours who, unfortunately, suffers from schizophrenia. The thing is, my friend- we'll call him "H"- has been obsessed with A for YEARS. H is a very lonely guy (think your stereotypical pseudo-hikkikomori weeaboo) due to his illness and A has been the only woman who will usually bother to talk to him... and even though he's on medication and in psychotherapy now, he's still a little... off... and still obsessed with A.

I'm worried about how this might all go down: It's my business and her business if A and I want to get together, but I don't want our friend to go axe murderer on me and her! WTF should I do? How should I approach this?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 06:15 ID:+6zq0Vk4

Schizophrenics, like most other people with mental disorders, aren't a whole lot more dangerous than a regular person. Considering it sounds like H has had his schizophrenia for a while now and is receiving treatment I would say the chances of him doing anything are extremely low. Even if he does do something it's probably going to be more along the line of him showing up at your house at 4:00 AM babbling about you stealing A and cursing at you than him axe murdering you.

Do be on alert if he goes off his meds or stops seeing his therapists since that will most likely be the time he'll do something. At some point in the future he WILL go through a period where it gets worse and his hallucinations, delusions, ect, will increase, which will also be a time when he might do something, but it will pass with time and he'll get better again. It's a cyclic thing.

Also, keep talking with H and encourage A to keep talking to him too. Schizophrenics are usually lonely and having someone to talk to is good for them and their treatment.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 07:19 ID:RpA5gKJz

Like >>2 says. I don't think he'll be particularly dangerous, and he has no special rights over A. So I think you should do your moves, or A will end up going with Z ^_^

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 14:54 ID:kh5OLa/t

OP here

I do agree with you, 2, I myself have bipolar disorder and for the most part we mentally ill are usually harmless people as long as we're in therapy and on meds.

However, what worries me is that H has still not really learned how to approach romance and intimate relationships, and his family is in financial trouble, which has made it so that at times he cannot get to his medication, which makes him a bit unpredictable (I can sympathize, however, because my family has been in that situation in the past... with very very bad results). The reason I'm mainly worrying is that H has reacted violently to rejection in the past, and in my own past in my struggle with Bipolar Disorder I have reacted violently (or at least aggressively) to other things.

Ah well, I'm making my moves with A and it's going well. H will find out in when I feel he's ready (it would, at the end of the day, be fucked-up of me and A to hide the truth from him).

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 16:20 ID:RpA5gKJz

>>4 If H has an history of violence, it's of course a different matter. It does not change the fact that he has no special rights on A.

But the difference may be that you have to check up with his family, and/or present things in a more official way (for instance while eating with friends), so that he has little choice but to accept it, because he sees that everyone around him accepts it. Of course, first you do need to start dating A. So worry about it later.

6 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-25 07:59 ID:lhRmDzpt

>>1

U call him "H" because he's a HENTAI ? :P

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 18:15 ID:DRl6VRQK

Uh, he pretty much is. All of his favorite anime are hentai movies.

And a mutual friend of me/H/A's said to me today "So I heard something about you and A. You know that if H finds out, he'll fucking kill you. He's still saying 'She's the only one for me!' I'm tellin' you man, you're gonna have to find a way to do some heavy diplomacy."

Yeesh, the troubles I get into.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 20:35 ID:pob4qSAB

Try to get the girl and don't worry about another guy. If he gets in your way, push him out of the way. If he reacts violently after you made it clear that you and the girl are together, react in kind. He may be psycho, but violence is a language even mentally ill people can understand.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-26 01:58 ID:rlqxW/lB

>>8

(sighs) Yeah, I hate to lose my bro, but if he's too sick (or too immature) to understand it, I just might have to take a stand... Ah well...

10 Name: chewbaka : 2009-04-12 16:30 ID:o+8pkK2S

>>6
it's because his a Homophobic

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-12 21:32 ID:94ATdcEc

>>9

update?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-13 20:40 ID:Wx1ZdeJs

Well, things are going well with us now, and H knows now. He said he accepted it and that he knows "that of all of our friends, you'll will take care of her best". The best thing is, H took my advice and discuss the situation with his psychotherapist. I think we're all gonna be alright...

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-14 12:02 ID:u0c4E+gr

>I think we're all gonna be alright...

In movie terms, this is short for "Something horrible is going to happen to one of the protagonists in less than five minutes". But good luck for all of you!

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-22 00:18 ID:1Vgjdsm1

>>4
Yeah, I have a bipolar friend. When he is really bad he lies to me and is irritated, but not dangerous. He was on drugs as well, so if he's still alright after that I can't see him going crazy.

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