try reading evertything before judging
keep in mind that I'm serious, so I want serious answers.
Basically I think I'm in love with a 7 years old girl.
I can't help it, she is just too cute. and she is also smart and a very nice person. and most importantly: she likes me too.
Please don't misundersand. I don't have ANY dirty thoughts. all I want is to spend some time with her,talk with her, play with her, hold her hand and hug her.
while I realize I'm in love with her, I'm aware of the age gap and all issues involved.
What I want to know is
I like to say frankly this is very, very strange to me and never have I met anyone offline or online about this kind of situation. Sounds so surreal.
I'm kinda....hmmmmm. Well, you can wait and stay friends with her and support her all the way in many years to come. Be patient until you wait the right time.
Like I said before, don't expect anything in love.
>>all I want is to spend some time with her,talk with her, play with her, hold her hand and hug her.
This sounds like a healthy relationship for an adult to have with a 7 year old. Love does not always mean sex, and love does not always mean romance. Don't try to be her boyfriend; she's too young to know what romantic love is. Be this kid's friend. Be this kid's confidant.
And do be careful, and remind yourself that you can never, EVER, do anything to hurt or compromise her.
op here.
guess I understand.
I do expect something in love. just not now... I know she is not mature to understand such things.
I agree with >>3
but would it be acceptable (for others) if, in 10 or so years ahead I change from "friend and confidant" to boyfriend and such?
in 10 years I'll be 33 and she'll be 17
will it still be too much of a gap?
will people accept o normaly...
aaahh...this is kinda hard. don't wish anyone in this kind of situation...
I think u must reconsider Ur choice ..
it's not easy, i know that
it's like my first love, i believe she's the only
girl I love, but time make me realize that
i cannot get her, so i must move one ..
hard but still possible my friend ..
If that was my daughter, I'd kick you in the nuts.
Seriously, she has had hardly any life experience or maturity, let alone be able to comprehend what a romantic relationship is, but already you're planning to "keep this thing alive". In other words, you're asking us how to manipulate her so that her affection for you as an uncle figure, will one day turn into a romantic one.
I don't care if you say you don't have "dirty mind". The way I see it is that if you keep going on like this, you're gonna start looking at her like she's you're investment, and if she doesn't grow up to like you, it will break you.
Plus who is to say that she's going to stay sweet, and innocent forever? Quite frankly, the way that you're even thinking about a long term future with her is downright creepy.
> Love does not always mean sex, and love does not always mean romance.
This is true. I wouldn't have a problem with it if OP was simply a brother figure (there'd be no point to this thread if it was just that), but OP is looking for eventual love in the romantic sense.
OP, all I'm going to say is that this isn't going to end well, or at the very least, it isn't going to end the way you want.
I don't think it's creepy or anything, just if I were you I would not expect anything to come from this situation, she will probably only see you as an uncle figure and nothing more. She will probably grow to love you, but as family not as a spouse.
Be careful OP, you're walking a thin line.
Here's what you do:
Join a mountain monastery for ten years.
Christian, Buddhist, Secular Humanist, whatever.
Then you can go back and attempt a relationship with a little woman.
Trying to keep it 'safe' and 'healthy' and 'alive' is a disaster waiting to happen. If you don't have the self-control to remain celibate in a single-sex environment for ten years, then there's no way you have the self-control to not put yourself in prison and her in life-long counseling.
I am completely serious, but I don't believe you actually have the self-control to do the right thing.
She's 7 or 8 right now and i'm 24. I like her a lot but ummm, I can't see us being together in the future but there is a possibility. How can you be inlove with a girl that age? Anyway, do your best OP.
just don't be tempted to pop her cherry too soon or you'll be dead
Signed. If you're a troll, GTFO. If you're serious, just forget it.
I know it may be hard to forget about it especially if you really love her, but you gotta realize time. She would meet someone her age who would change her world more than you probably have now and she would probably end up going out with him. Its best to forget about it now and move on. I know its hard but try dude.
Funny, I am in the same situation as you are OP. She's 10 and probably the most beautiful thing I ever seen.
Anyway, I seriously have no advice to give you. I know (and you know too) that letting go is the best course of action, but, at least in my experience, this is a ridiculously hard thing to do. Something keeps tying me to her even when I realise that this is a hopeless and ridiculous love. Maybe it's the idea of loving someone innocent and pure who would love you unconditionally, in a way that no woman our age could. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm a hopeless loser that keeps hiding behind all these idealistic fantasies, afraid to grow up. Or maybe, perhaps, it's just simple love, like the love between a man and a woman, only this one being between a man and a child.
Shit if I know, heck I only wrote this sappy wall of text to see if I could recall something from my experience that could help you, but it's pretty much useless since we're both stuck on the same boat. I have no idea about what to do either, I have tried to let go countless times, but it's pretty much useless.
Well, I guess you could try to gradually let go of her, maybe you can do it, and I believe that would be for the best. She can't understand your feelings, and won't love you the same way as you love her. And soon she will grow up, and in time you will become gradually more insignificant to her. Walk away now and spare yourself from the painful process of gradually losing her to age.
Now if only I could follow my own advice.
I am usually a lurker but I'll offer you some advice. It is better if you don't get into such a relationship. I am not sure how honest you can be with a bunch of anon. But be honest to yourself. Are you truly in love with her and not driven by your desire of flesh? If you can answer this truthfully and you are not driven by your lust... then wait the few years and see if she still likes you. However, if your answer comes down to desiring her flesh. I recommend you back away and have a relationship that is platonic and brotherly. Overtime she will see you as a big brother... someone she is more open to than her boyfriend but will never consider dating. I base this on personal experience.