I apologize for the wall of text....
So after ready everyone else's story, I've decided to post my own troubling story. So I am a 16 year old male, a Junior in High School. (Junior year is almost over ^_^) My best friend is currently 18 and a Senior about to graduate. Well, last year a beautiful, shy girl transferred to our school from the neighboring city. I'll refer to the girl as K, I was love-struck by K the moment I saw her and I began talking to her and discovering she had all the traits I dreamed of in a girl, or so I thought. My best friend is in a popular local band, is quite attractive, and is athletic in Track and get very good grades. Well much to my dismay, Best Friend and K began dating and the three of us became close friends over that year. However, I always had her still in mind, I was going to be with her no matter what I had to do. After a year, Best Friend dumped K suddenly, I was the crutch that brought her back off her feet. I told Best Friend I would never be a rebound and I began dating K about 4 months after their breakup. It was incredible, it was like a dream I never wanted to wake up from. We we're only together for a month and she dumped me. She said she just wanted things to go back to the way they were, she was one of my closest friends, I then seen what I did wrong. I tried so hard to get back together with K but she shot me down every time...he was still on her mind for some goddamn reason. I love my best friend like a brother but I want to murder him for stealing the heart of my "dream girl" and then toying with it. It was so obvious she still cared for my Best Friend but I destroyed my only chance I would ever have with my dream girl. A while later, Best Friend and K got back together and have been dating on off for the majority of this school year. K was like a best friend to me before she dumped me, now whenever I look at her I am filled with a strange mix of Love and Hate, whenever she speaks a word to me I shoot her an evil eye and give her a one word answer. Most of my friends as Seniors that will be gone next year...including my Best Friend, I will be left with the very few friends I have left for my final year of school, K being one of them. I wish this woman would leave my life and never come back, she sees my Best Friend as this night in shining armor even though he constantly breaks her heart and then pulls her back up to push her down again. I can't take it anymore....I love her, I hate her....I wish she would just leave my life, having to see her everyday, it's killing me. Sorry for giving a life story but I need to vent and any advice would be greatly welcomed.
I’m sorry to hear about your situation break ups are always hard they are never easy but you have to realize you are still in high school and girls at that age make silly irrational decisions they don’t know what they really want yet and I’m sure the time you spent together was amazing and I’m know its hard to get yourself back on track after something like that but you should be more mature about this don’t be angry at her don’t be angry at yourself it’s just how relationships go just accept the situation and move on. You are stronger than your feelings don’t let them control you. I know talking to her might be impossible for a while but the way it ended was not as bad as it could have been she was not actively cheating on you at the time she didn’t just stop talking to you or something horrible like that she explained why she couldn’t date you anymore and went on with her life you should respect that and move on as well no amount of trying to get back with her will ever work and if you think hard about it you will realize that if by some miracle you could start dating again you still would not be happy.
I pretty much agree with >>2: It's tough luck that she felt attracted to your friend and not to you, but it's no one's fault and you should not hate anyone over it. You basically managed to go out with her because you were there when she was vulnerable after being dumped. But very quickly she realized she does not love you and did the only sensible thing to do, which is to break up with you.
Although I understand that you feel angry, you must understand that you have to actual right to behave so. If you continue to display aggressiveness to her you will just end up more alone and spiteful. Just accept that the girl is not for you, and check out other women. There are plenty to choose from, and others are probably better able to make you happy.
Imagine a girl was still chasing you and at the same time bashing you when you made it clear that you are not interested in her. Wouldn't you end up finding her behavior pathetic and be even more repelled by her?
As for what I want to say:
OP. I think it's best you stay friends with her. Also, it's high school and I think nothing is never really reach to the level of serious when it comes to relationships. I've heard this and that from people I used to know back in high school and every relationship I heard later on, dropped. I mean things are serious but life after high school and you look back, you will think that all the things that happened back then was because it was your high school days yet you cherished those good times. Forgive and forget, then move on.
Don't hate her, OP just because of something happened that was not a big of deal, really. Sometime the one you love isn't really the one you thought you mostly love.
Well, it's been a while since the actual break up and I think the best thing to do would be to avoid being friends and simply move on. (Which I have pretty much well done.) I just was feeling rather sore about it yesterday and had to see what other people would have to say on the matter. I actual believe all of you are correct, as it sounds like what I constantly have to tell a different friend of mine who claims he's "lonely." Anyways, thanks for the comments on it, I really appreciate it.
What you described is a pattern that can happen at any time in life (something a little similar happened reciently to me). I would recommend that you don't believe girls don't know what they really want when they are young! Thats a nonsense which (if believed) can have one waste their life (like I wasted mine with it). Girls KNOW what they want. You CAN change or direct what a girl wants, but, you need to be willing to be a doormat for no guarenteed reward and be able to be there with them physically just as a person to talk to for as long as it takes and you need to do that with no agenda. Also, they may STILL never fall for you and if they do they might even breifly resent you if they didn't plan to like you that way.
Secret Admirer was right though in the respect that it does though sound like you really blew it by responding negitively to her when you two split up. I learned the hard way that living in the hurt zone can terminally damage the possibility of love (even if she nearly does love you).
However, try to stress as little as possible, love makes us all a little stupid/crazy and at the end of the day the girl you loved just "wasn't that into you" (I hate that expression, but its correct) and unless your nature was "flawless" she was always going to go for someone else. Much better to just have friends until someone falls for you.
Oh, and one last, I completely relate to your situation, its hell (figuritively speaking).
Hey OP,
I just finished reading your story. I know the feeling. After all, yours is somewhat similar to mine. But I can tell you one thing;
you have life waaaaaaayyyy ahead of you and you don't need to waste your time thinking about your failed relationship. What's one girl to us, Males? We can conquer a sea of girls if we wanted to. Don't let your emotion trample on your pride. If one girl comes to you and then dump you, then call her "Bitch" and we move on. Clearly she doesn't care about your feeling, so why should you care?
now go find another girl that knows you better. let her know that you r da HEEEEEEEEEEEEE-MAAAAAAANNNN (RAWRRRR)!!!
That is high school for you. Rub some dirt in your wound, get back up and keep playing the game. Don't take what happened personally. Just move on
Hahaha....aww Highschool. I remember those days. Anyway OP, here's what I WOULD DO, I approach K telling her my feelings for her and how much it hurts me to know she'll never like me. Like...you want to continue being friends but it really hurts just being with her... and thats it. Whatever happens next is her decision. Plus its good for you. It gets you to release all your emotions and hopefully THAT'll "turn your life around" AND enjoy the Senior life my friend!
Hey OP, I'm with >>11 on this one.
And also one advice - stay close to your friend buddy (not K). It's way more probable that you'll stay close to him than to her. Don't hate him like you said for "taking the heart of your dream girl". If you really feel like you need to have a grudge, then lay it on her for not liking you in the first place. Yes, it's not really "logical", but it's the best you can do. It's the best way to heal, and the best way to strenghten the bonds with your friend. If you can forgive him that, you'll see what I mean.
I'm not talking out of nothing, almost the same situation happened to me (although in my early 20s). I forgave my friend, and one day at a party we talked about it for some reason. I told him that it was probably the best thing I could do, and was happy with my decision. He told me that he never wanted to force the subject, but that he was very happy and respectful that I took it that way.
TL;DR: Friends > Failed relationships.
"Well much to my dismay, Best Friend and K began dating"
I stopped reading there. You're in high school, you should have bitten your tongue and practiced the old bros before hoes. You probably should have told you "best friend" that you also liked this "K" and if he was acclaimed to be "best" as he is, then he should have agreed with you that you both shouldn't chase this girl. That would've saved you some pain eh?