3 months ago I started dating the love of my life (whom I had been in love with for 3 years prior) and I had 2 of the most happiest months I have ever had in my life. I made sure to do everything I could to make her happy... After those 2 months she broke up with me...
During our relationship we never had sex. That doesn't matter to me as long as I have love (ugh so corny). But I know she was very sexual with other males before our relationship. [indirect.. phone sex, cybering etc.] It did bother me slightly that she was more initmate with people whom she knew didn't care for her rather than me.
About a week ago we got back together. Yay!
I am the first real relationship she's had, I just found out that she's been sending nudes of herself to other people and it tears me inside that she would do that to me... She did apologize but thats all our relationship basically is. Her apologizing and me forgiving everything. (i'm a big push over when it comes to her, and ONLY her)
through out our relationship, i've barely gotten as far as to hold her hand...
The nudes though have gotten to me. She's more intimate with strangers than a person whom she claims to love.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you
> i'm a big push over when it comes to her, and ONLY her
This explains everything.
A pushover isn't sexy. You are doing so many things wrong OP, I don't know where to start.
First of all, when you got back together a week ago, you should have acted the man and set down some guidelines. But I suspect that you were the one who was trying to coax her back into the relationship. It's never going to work if she knows she can walk all over you. No one wants to have sex with a doormat. You need to make her work for your affection. I also think that you haven't raised the issue of her slutty behaviour with her.
But I think your most fundamental error is loving her.
She is no good for you. Open your eyes already.
Also, grow a backbone please.
You can start by dumping her ass.
If I were you, I would have dumped her ass as soon as I know she sends her nude pics to people.
Listen, get the fuck out. She's using you to get her self esteem up after she's gone and fucked up. You can do better and you deserve better. Grow a pair and break it off and find someone who will care about you!
I think the previous commenters are not completely wrong. You need to show more initiative and not just wait in awe for her.
Also, I find these forgiving and apologizing games a total waste of time. What do you actually do together? What do you want, what does she want? Do you know the answers to these questions?
I would not give up so fast, but you definitely need to start moving things in your interests, instead of waiting for things to happen to you.
We actually don't do much together. We don't see each other often, less than once a week sometimes. I want us to spend more time together, eventually getting to hand holding?
im so sorry op. u need a better gf - new gf to start with a scratch :3
Okay so lets see..
Conclusion
Obviously she's dating more than one guy.
She's either dating you out of sympathy, or you're buying her gifts/proven yourself useful to her in some way.
I'm usually a brutally honest, and frank kind of guy, but this time I'll try not to be as harsh...
If you feel that what you have for her is genuine love, then there is always hope.
But... you have to understand that a healthy relationship requires balance. Instead of being simply nice to her, you're most likely being very passive. This is my opinion, only because you are upset by her nude pictures, and her intimacy with strangers. If this were not true, and you did in fact, have genuine love for her--this would not bother you, and her happiness would be your only priority.
Apparently, you're on the 90 yard line, and she's on the 10 yard line. With the balance thing, you have to make her meet you half-way, meaning you have to communicate your parameters, tolerance, expectations, and etc. with her. If she doesn't see that it is bothering you, then I honestly don't understand how you two got into a relationship.
In either case, communication is key. Be honest, be frank, and be true to yourself. Don't think that you can only fall in love once.
> During our relationship we never had sex.
> i've barely gotten as far as to hold her hand...
How is this? Have you ever tried to make a move, or did you just expect her to mount you like a horse?
Thank you for your responses.
Yes i've tried making moves. She would push me away or just tell me no.
seeing as how i've just let a bitch like this rule my life for the past year, i'm gonna tell you this straight out...
dump her ass. I was in the EXACT same situation as you. I was "in love" with her forthe longest time, only me and her would do stuff together but she would never want to date. why? beause she was using me as a "backup" like this bitch is using you as a "backup" in case things dont go well with some other guy, she always has you to go back to.
for a whole year i let this bitch rule mylife, i would bend over backwards for her, submiting to her will (i've posted on her about it too when i was head-over-heels for her), then i finally snapped and ended things with her. it was hard at first, like it will be for youbut after a week, i felt AMAZING and FREE.
trust me man, it'll be for your own good that you rid yourself of her. I didnt listen to anyone on this board when they told me to get rid of her, and i wasted a year of my life on her. dont do what I did, learn from my mistake.
Sending nude pictures to other people would be my first clue to get out. She won't hold hands with you, but she has no problem sending explicit photos of herself to others? I have reason to doubt that sort of woman.
I would get out of that relationship, but it seems like you want to patch this up... I think 10 can sum it up a lot better than I can, but I hope somehow, whether you leave her or stay with her, it all works out...
Get a grip! If you really love her, than fight! Nothing's ever gonna change if you just keep morning over her!
Maybe things won't go well, and you'll end up broken hearted. But what if it does go well, and you finally get to understand her and be happy?
I don't think you should give up so easily. If it pains you so much as to ask us about it, then it should be worth fighting for!
Do your best! \o/