Hey everyone. Back in early February I started going out with a guy I had met back in December. We were three hours apart, and he was laid off from his job soon after we started dating, but I felt that things were going pretty well; we had lots of fun and all that. In late April, he grew very distant for about a week. I was finally able to contact him again at the start of May. He basically said that he can't really handle a relationship right now due to problems in his life -- he hadn't been able to get a job since he was laid off, despite trying nearly every day (and he still hasn't, as far as I know). He went on to say that we could maybe try again once he gets everything back together.

I don't doubt this, of course, but I can't help but feel that he was just trying to let me down gently. I was rather shy about sexual stuff since he was my first, and just shy in general too, while he was outgoing. And from how he started off his breakup-speech, it sounded like he didn't feel we were compatible. Should I go ahead and treat this the same way as a breakup, even though there is a chance that he'll get back together with me? I still don't have the slightest interest in being with anyone else at the moment and won't for a long time, but I have no idea how long I'd have to wait for him. (not to mention I shouldn't have to put myself on hold for too long!) I have hardly talked to him since then, but have seen him in person recently. (I had to get something back from him; we talked almost like usual, but it ended up being hard for me and I had to leave.) Sorry if any of this is incoherent; just wanted to get my thoughts out. Any advice would be appreciated :)

Interesting....

Well I haven't been employed for almost two years so I think I can get the feeling of the start of when he got laid off. He is depressed and I think he feels that he can't do anything now that he lost a job. He probably thought he can't do anything for you and that things just got bad after the laid off. I think you should talk about it with him and don't be afraid of what you want to say to him. After all, a relationship needs a good communication between each other to have the relationship grow strong. I think you need to help him out. I guess what I'm trying to say is be there for him?

Being a jobless guy can be really depressing....

Thanks for your input. Yeah, he did get pretty depressed and mostly still seems to be. When we were still together, I tried to comfort him as well as I could, but towards the end he was just kinda apathetic whenever I tried to cheer him up. His birthday came a couple weeks after we had broken up, so I sent him an IM (I know lol, but it was the only method I had at the time) saying happy birthday. He didn't respond in any way. :(

I would like to start talking to him again, but I'm not sure what to say to him, or if he even wants me to. He hasn't made any initiative to contact me so far; it's always me who speaks first. I guess I can see why, but he doesn't seem too interested in keeping in contact with me for now, and I'm not sure what to do. :( At least he hasn't blocked me from anything.

That idiot. He has a girl to talk with and he's not even at least making a contact with you.

Either he's hiding something unless you know everything about him but who knows? Or he's just an idiot.

Just because you got laid off from a job doesn't mean you get depressed and be seem to avoid at you.

I don't know about you but I'm getting annoyed at what he's doing to you. You make an effort of contacting him and he just brushes you off? Somehow you gotta try to get out of his system. See what's up.....=\

Err, what I mean is try to get it out of his system not you out of his system. My bad. It seems the annoyance I've received just gave me a bad typo...

OP here with an update. A few days ago he sent me an IM and we talked for a bit, but we haven't spoken since then. However, based on what I can tell from his blog and stuff over the past couple days, he seems to be very depressed again. I really want to at least try to comfort him, but should I just keep giving him space? After all, he broke up with me even though I was there to comfort him before, so maybe he just wants to endure it by himself for whatever reason. (he never really asked for much help from his other friends either, and isn't seeming to now) I'm just not sure. Maybe I should try what you suggested, Ryuuchi, and just talk to him :/

I'm not sure but if he is the type of guy things who tries to handle things himself no amount of conforting will help to much it will just make it harder for him and he might get frusterated with your kindness because he probably feels he doesn't deserve it or it is a hinderance it might agrevate things. I think if you still care about him you should leave him alone for a while but at the same time let him know you are still there and care for him and try to talk or text or I.M. once a week. just my two cents