Me and my best friend love women. We do our best every moment of every day to go out of our way to do things for them. We try to be kind, we try to be considerate, and we always try to show them that they have our full attention. When we're in a conversation with a girl, we try to assure them that what they have to say matters. We also try to assure those girls who are shy that they've got a voice too, and that their silence is just as important to us. Every now and then, me and my best friend like to "scheme" up scenarios with certain girls; we think up of countless situations for us to show them how special they are. Each moment that rolls by, we have a thought about how to make their lives better. We take every opportunity given to us, even create our opportunities on a whim, just to focus on a woman's happiness. This also means our radars are always on for those who are feeling down; we do our best to brighten their days, even before they can tell us that they even have a problem.
The biggest thing about all of this is that these women never know, nor never will know how much energy we put into them. Even when they aren't around, we still think about ways to do something for them. And just for the record, this has nothing to do with romance, nor do we intend to get to any base with them.
Now, from what I've observed--it seems like females do not think like us in general. We have yet known a girl that would go out of her way to do the same for us. It kills us, yes, every time we think about it. We always tell ourselves, "It's always 90-10 with girls... most of them don't even meet us half-way." Regardless, we still do our best to love them. However, the feeling still lingers, that most girls don't have the capacity to generate compassion on a whim like we do for them.
In conclusion, I would just like to say that it sucks. It sucks that when me or my best friend are upset, troubled, or sad, most girls will not truly "be there" for us. All they ever consider doing is listening, and even then, they're only there for us when we supposedly "have problems". This is the main thing here--the women that we know will only try to treat us well when we are on the down-side, whereas we are always there for them regardless if they're happy or not. They will try to give their attention to us, but they always fall short anyway, for it never seems to be with a full-heart. (And this is all given, that they are even aware we're feeling down.)
It sounds like you have some sort of attachment issue man, tone it down a few notches　because I don't think anyone is willing to be with someone as desperate and insecure as you sound. I don't think this is about women or men, it's about you. Women don't need to be constantly told or made to feel special any more than you do and no-one can "be there" for you all the time, do you realize how emotionally draining that would be? Go get some counseling or something because it's not the job of a potential mate to try to match your seemingly expansive needs.
Consider dating your best friend though, he sounds like he'd be a great match for you.
>>2 Bitter anon is bitter.
A point of note is that most people live in their heads, with little focus on other persons, so it's almost to be expected that they don't return the attention. I'd also like to mention that if doing something isn't satisfying to some degree, you shouldn't do it. >.> Lastly, it seems the women you give attention to (and please note you're giving, not trading or selling) have a 'bad boy' complex in that they only are there for you when you 'need fixing'. Those are just my thoughts.
>>2 I think you misunderstand something, and that is when I said, "And just for the record, this has nothing to do with romance, nor do we intend to get to any base with them."
I have no intentions of getting with anyone of them. The point of my rant was not about "relationships", it was about love. Unless you can't imagine people loving other people without being in a relationship, I don't see how you came to your conclusion. Basically, I have no attachments whatsoever, which is why I am able to generalize them.
And about your statement about, "Women don't need to be constantly told or made to feel special,"... that is exactly why we keep on doing it--because we don't HAVE to. That's where love comes in.
When all is said and done, this honestly doesn't change how I feel about them. It's not a matter of changing who I am or changing women, this is just me, venting out the downsides of being the best gentleman you could be.
Love isn't about giving and expecting something in return, it's about the pain you know you'll live with after you dedicate your life to constant giving.
>>4
I think you misunderstood me, I know relationship doesn't me love relationship, I used an example and ran with it, seeing as you can and should be able to compare and contrast the idea to fit within any construct. I suppose I was fairly unclear on re-reading, I will try to rewrite hopefully in a more wholesale sort of way.
To make it more clear: You are too stuck on people in general, and you have too many needs in your dealings with others. You disguise it as selfless giving, when in reality it simply isn't or you would have never given it a second thought, rather than giving freely, you give then brood about how others do not give back (as much as you'd like). Even if you do it without expectation of return, the problem is that you keep wishing for it. You are attached to the idea you are 'giving' but still cannot reconcile the fact other people are not as 'generous' to you. Maybe the one who you really love (more than those you feel you are 'giving' to)is yourself? which is pretty natural for a person in any case.
Secondly, love (whether between lovers, family, friends whatever)is not about trying to make the other happy or making people feel happy as though it were a favour you were doing for them. It is about mutual understanding, respect and care, this is what makes people happy. People are not pets, you don't give them treats so they will wag their tails, do you understand? (and no I'm not talking only about material things, though that's certainly an aspect of it).
>doesn't me
doesn't mean. If there are other typo's like this, I'm sorry but my computer lags up and this is the result.
>It is about mutual understanding, respect and care, this is what makes people happy
That doesn't make me happy but it makes me feel satisfied.
>>5 You may have a point here, that I am stuck on people in general, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The reason for this is an different story on its own, but again, I'll agree with you.
In any way you label what it is I'm doing, I simply don't agree with your understanding of love, how you say it is about "mutual understanding, respect and care," even though that makes a lot of sense. The reason being is that there are people in this world who can love a person without the mutuality. Take parents for example, or hippies, or soldiers, or someone we know as Jesus Christ. I don't believe that love takes more than one person to accomplish, but for a romantic relationship, it does. This is because to me, love is a choice, and as much as I know that these people can't and won't change, I'll continue to do what I can for them. I guess I should re-evaluate myself in this then, just for the sake of ranting: I do "brood", (which is the purpose for this,) but I'd be happy to keep on "brooding", given that I can still do what I do.
Just another point to add--I see what you mean about "giving," and I agree with you. But the thing you're forgetting is that, people can't disregard a totally separate emotion. There are no "qualifications" to be met in order to properly "give". This is especially true since, humans aren't perfect machines--we're flawed creatures. To make this more clear, let me just say that in the future when this will no longer be an issue for me, I'll still be "giving" just as much as I am now. The only difference is that I wouldn't have a need to vent out like this.
Mind the fact that I totally broadened "girls/women" to "people", since I apply to this everyone. It just so happens that my initial feelings stem off from women, since I do pay attention to them more in my social life.
But anyway, I appreciate your reconstructive criticism, since the first post was frankly, inappropriate and unjustified.
MOB