Worried. (2)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-22 01:28 ID:CALF0ske

I've been in my current relationship for nine months, although the most recent two have been spent long-distance, as he is overseas until September. That said, recently our conversations have gotten a little stale, and less affectionate as well. I have always felt that emotionally, we weren't as connected as other couples, and we've always maintained a certain air of detachment and etiquette around each other even when we were living in the same place. We've never argued.

Although he has been calling more frequently than before, the conversations have been shorter, about superficial subjects, and punctuated with long silences. Perhaps I am being paranoid, but the mutual compliments and "I miss you"-s seemed to end around the time that I told him that I loved him. Even though I was confident that he felt the same at the time, now I'm not so sure.

With him so far away, is it even possible to breach the subject of how he truly feels about the relationship? I want to spend more time with him, and even though we are making plans to meet up when he comes back, I'm afraid that we'll end up drifting apart before that happens.

Am I being too sensitive? Do we have a chance? Help me out, /romance/.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-22 16:38 ID:CNRuJDM3

Sure you have a chance, others have been in your situation before you, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing. Maybe what you need is to get out of your comfort zone and start to talk about what's really important to you.

If you feel that he has become more detached, then talk about that feeling to him, and ask what is his opinion about it: is he feeling less enthusiastic about the relationship? Same thing for your conversations, perhaps you could change a bit the way you talk, try different things. Those phone conversations can become very repetitive, and sometimes it's good to talk about something completely different. Do YOU know what he has been doing of interest? Perhaps you can become more curious about what he is doing, what is he interested in, etc.

Maybe you could also talk about things you could do once he returns in September. You could perhaps organize some holidays, a trip, something a bit different and that both of you would be looking forward to. I don't think you are too sensitive, although you have to avoid sounding clingy and too negative. You feel you need fresh air, so do something about it.

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