So, I've been dating an older guy (he's 26, I'm 19 and a half) for a little over 6 months now. If i ever ask him something, he answers quickly and honestly, at least, his eyes never seem to lie. He is a foreign student studying in America and I'm not sure that his English skills are good enough for him to lie effectively anyways. I'd like to say that the level of trust between us is high, however, recently i stumbled upon something that made me a little wary.
He has a homepage on the facebook-esque networking site of his native country, and occasionally, if i want to look at his picture or read his status quotes (i know enough of his native language to be able to understand what he writes), I'll visit said page. Currently, the title of his page is set as "Believe me" (in his native language). I was looking around and i glanced at his comment box. I saw a phrase that, in his native tongue, is used strictly between lovers or people who are very, very close. It translates to 'I love you' but as i said, it's more powerful than the English sense of the phrase. the full comment said "I believe you..I love you." Now this alone made my heart skip a beat, but then i glanced over at the person's name. On this website, people are allowed to put a little one word descriptor next to their friends' names that will show up each time the people comment. The descriptor that my boyfriend had put next to this woman's name made me feel as if i had been thrown into a giant ringing cathedral bell: "fiancée". At first i was panicked, my whole body shook and i felt like i couldn't breathe, but I've calmed down a little.
He's really not the cheating type...I just cannot see him being capable of such conniving behavior. I snooped around on the girl's page a bit, but she has most of her features shut off so it doesn't provide much info...I'm not sure what to do from here. Should I ask him directly about it?
You're young and being taken for a ride.
Know about all these guys who talk about "having fun" with all of these girls in foreign countries or foreign exchange students?
Well.....you're the other side of that coin.
I'd ask him directly...but he's going to lie. They always do.
Don't let it get you down, plenty of fish in the sea.
Of course I would ask him directly. The question is what to do with whatever he answers.
Another approach is just to contact the woman in question and tell her that you are interested in "boyfriend", and want to know what's her relation with him, and whether that's fine for her. Of course, if she really is his fiancée, it will take him some effort to contain the damage. If you really want to screw him, you can say that you have been going out with him for six months, and only noticed now that she may be his fiancée.
Of course, with or without revenge, the outlook is bad for you. But who knows, you should investigate before reaching a conclusion. She may have been an ex, and he never bothered to update her status. Her reply would then pretty much support whatever he answers. In any case, I do feel sorry for you, don't let yourself get trampled or embittered by this incident.
Stay away from foreign students. Seriously, this is from personal experience.
well if he had this facebook on the web its for sure many people read it, so it wouldn't be strange that you read it
i think you should ask him but not directly -he may take it as an attack or something like that-
the phrase "i love you" in web pages like facebook is very common, cuz most of the people never meet face to face is often a way to say "thanks" or "is good that i met you"
dont worry...everything is going to be alright
besides if he is as you describe it i bet he is no cheating you
good luck
foreign students aren't that bad
maybe secrert admirer got some bad luck with them but i don't
if you got trust in each other, and love there wont be any problem
besides i hag out with a foreign student for a while and it was beautifull
we end the relationship cuz she went back to his home but we ended in very good terms and sometiemes she come here and we have some dates -now as friends only-
we still chat on the web and i mus rather say she was one of the best things i had in my life