Stats
Subject No. 14
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 20
Nationality: Asian (Filipino)
Education: 3rd year in Molecular Biology and Biochemistry
Work: Yes, I work with the Aldo group
Income: Not a lot
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No and No
On Computer: A lot
Weight: 105 Ibs
Smoke: No
Drink: Yes, occasionally
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: I actually have never dated anyone before. I think a guy just held my hand once..
Style: chic-- skinny jeans, a nice top, either boots or flats
Friends: I have 3 best friends-- 2 I talk to all the time. I have a group of Filipino friends that I also hang around occasionally but not as close compared to my best friends.
Activities: School, work, go online (watch random asian movies and dramas and also active in another forum--- been on that one for almost 5 years now).
Skills: I don't really know. People say I have good people skills-- outgoing and friendly.

My story: To be honest, I have never dated anyone before (never had a boyfriend). It's not because I don't get asked out (because I do), it's just that I keep rejecting date proposals. I feel that it's wrong for me to waste someone's time especially if I'm not fully attracted to them. I think recently when my best friends were in relationships this year that I started to feel left out. It's not that they don't talk to me but I guess you can say I feel a bit jealous that they found that someone they can be with while me on the other hand, hasn't. I guess it was kind of a slap in the face which depressed me for a while. I thought of attempting suicide a lot (not only because I feel lonely but other things that I don't fully know myself). I'm sick of being alone but I know that it was my fault too. I attract guys that I don't like and having to constantly reject them is a pain. I start to think that maybe it's me-- something is wrong with me that I can't even have a decent guy to be attracted to me. I don't know what else I can do.

I guess my school is also a factor of my suicide attempt-- pressure from parents and don't fully know what I should do or what I'm doing is "right" for me. I just keep going though-- put on a fake smile and just keep moving forward but having to feel like that everyday, it's tiring. I have a dream that I really want to succeed but I feel like I'll never achieve it because school is so damn hard. I wish that I can give everything up but I can't with all these constant expectations and the feeling of quitting-- I hate it. I thought of dying a lot but I just don't have the nerve to hurt myself.