How do I discourage her? [Advice] [Crush] (5)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-09 20:10 ID:sFRZGpTW

I have this problem with girls flirting with me or trying to be more than friendly. Of course rarely will any girl verbally express themselves (whether asking for a phone number or date), but instead she'll carry on until it develops into infatuation. I used to just ignore them or play dumb, but this is problematic for the persistent ones and maybe cruel in the long run.
It's a nice problem to have, sure. But naturally I can't see them all and I hate to hurt anyone. I'd also prefer she move on and find someone that likes her in return.

So in these awkward situations:

  1. Uninvited flirting
  2. Unexpressed Crush
  3. Requesting a date (especially if she's doing so in front of others)

How can I:

  1. Remain friendly but not seem like I'm interested
  2. Get her to move on without bringing up the subject
  3. Politely decline, hopefully in such a way that she won't have anything bad to say about me

I don't want to do anything like telling her I'm gay or say or do something to make her hate me.

Looking for female advice (those on both sides of this) and any men who have had a similar problem.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-09 21:19 ID:pxtB6luH

Just enjoy it, it will come in handy later if you develop a crush on a girl yourself. Having a reputation for being popular with the ladies makes it easier to get more ladies.

As for the situations, you'll probably make things worse if you play 'hard to get.' It's somewhat paradoxical, but the more unattainable you are the more attractive you will be.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-09 21:29 ID:uNgG8r8F

>As for the situations, you'll probably make things worse if you play 'hard to get.' It's somewhat paradoxical, but the more unattainable you are the more attractive you will be.

This.

Just be straightforward. Don't be too polite and don't apologize too much - they must integrate the fact that your answer is definitive (of course, you might regret this later on). That doesn't mean you have to be mean, of course. But... maybe a little blunt.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-13 20:06 ID:tLWGkRcV

> Don't be too polite and don't apologize too much - they must integrate the fact that your answer is definitive

Perfect, thank you. I'd probably be tripping over open-ended apologies.
I suppose it's narcissistic to think anyone will break down and cry, and it comes with the territory.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-18 13:54 ID:IgJkHSNW

easiest way is to get a gf. but take it slowly

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