...so I can solve it.

I can't keep it up with a condom on. I also can't find LSD or other synthetic drugs except for online, and shipping takes forever.

I have AIDS.

>I can't keep it up with a condom on.

Buy Viagra or equivalent.

>I also can't find LSD or other synthetic drugs except for online, and shipping takes forever.

Learn to synthesize your own drugs. The Internet is your friend.

> I have AIDS.

Go see a doctor, and start a chronic antiretroviral treatment

I have no penis.

I wasnt motivated to train for this half marathon and now i already must kick it on sunday..
oh boy, just tell me if i will survive.. that's all!!!

>I have no penis.

Use your fingers and tongue.

>I wasnt motivated to train for this half marathon and now i already must kick it on sunday..
>oh boy, just tell me if i will survive.. that's all!!!

You will survive.

Failing my study but dont feel like working harder.

Dont know when the best time to confess
(im 15)

>Failing my study but dont feel like working harder.

Join or organize a study group.

>Dont know when the best time to confess (im 15)

The best time to confess is when you are certain that the other has feelings for you.

I created a miniature black hole in my backyard but instead of evaporating quickly as theorized it's growing at an exponential rate and will soon consume the earth.

>I created a miniature black hole [...] and will soon consume the earth.

Earth will not be consumed.

The function f(x) satisfies two properties:

(i) f(x + y) + f(x - y) = 2[f(x) + f(y)], and
(ii) f(1) = 1.

What is f(22/7) ?

>What is f(22/7) ?

The Oracle is not a remedial class, so ask you teacher to explain you why f(22/7) = (22/7)^2

I have lost it.

>I have lost it.

If you still need it, you will find or replace it.

I can't will myself to fix my problems.

>I can't will myself to fix my problems.

Burn the bridges, so that you have no choice but to fix them.

I burnt the bridges, but now the town is cut of from it's food supply and I'm wanted for arson, reckless endangerment and terrorism.

>I burnt the bridges, [...] I'm wanted for arson, reckless endangerment and terrorism.

Surrender to the authorities, and explain that you were following the Oracle's instructions.

O great oracle, I humbly kneel before thee to seek advice, perhaps even consolation in regards to a problem which plagues me. I have a deep need to be admired by the opposite sex, and it doth strike me much pain to not receive such affections. Moreover, it has occurred to me that I also wish to find a person suitable for me to... what would the youth call of it.., may'haps court? Though yet I wish more than courting if such a suitable person is found.

You may question my age, but does age really matter for affection, or love as it is called? What is love? Do I seek to be infatuated or loved? Do I seek to return the former or latter?

But to find a suitable person to channel such an abstract concept to, would be indeed difficult in this day and age due to the shallow culture of capitalism and what not. Or perhaps the world has grown out of its need for depth of thought. After all oracle, we are taught not to judge a book by its cover, yet the very opposite is practiced.

I have derailed from my problems into discussing the essence and roots of such items. Does the non tangible concept known as love really exist? Or did the romantic movement of the 19th century blow things out of proportion? Perhaps fools such as myself have been brainwashed into blindly believing that such an element exists. Likewise, perhaps fools such as myself are blinded by the harshness of any societal structure to realize the warmth of such concept.

O great oracle, a primitive man such as myself knows naught. Perhaps my speech resembles the ramblings of a madman, perhaps not. I draw circles as I strive to seek the truth that eludes me. Perhaps the ebbing nature of the universe proposed by Heraclitus laughs at my attempt to seek solidity in truths. On the other hand, the ebbing answers perhaps can never be grasped, only touched through the empirical nature of life as time carries me further.

Alas, I grant you my deepest gratitude for reviewing a lost man's brief thoughts, O wisest of oracles.

>Does the non tangible concept known as love really exist?

There is not a non tangible concept of love, but there are a multitude of experiences of loving.

>I [...] need to be admired by the opposite sex, and [...] wish to find a person suitable for me to [...] court

Know and accept thyself. Love grows on mutual empathy and interest, but you can only entertain interest in others if you cultivate your interests by yourself.

what is love

and what is a man

baby don't hurt me

>what is love and what is a man

The Oracle solves problems, and will only wax philosophical for the purpose of addressing them.

>baby don't hurt me

The Oracle won't hurt you.

Oh oracle oracle on the wall.. wait wut...
do i have potentail? :)

>do i have potentail?

You have potential, but won't be able to unlock it until you commit yourself to act consistently upon your interests.

Oh Oracle,
I have this problem. I actually like this girl who happens to be my neighbour back in my country. I liked her since we were young. Anyway, I had to move to another country and I've been living for 10 years, away from my home country. We didn't really communicate with each other. Only recently, we started chatting on the Internet and I realize I like her because she's pretty and that's it. I have no idea about her personality. So the question is, should I go for it or ditch it? I'm afraid long distance relationship won't work.

>I'm afraid long distance relationship won't work.

Long distance relationships only work if contact is frequent and regular, and if there is a common agreement that the long term goal is to live together.

>should I go for it or ditch it?

Go for it without necessarily assuming that you are in a relationship. If, as you get to know her, you notice that your feelings become so pressing as to affect the course of your life, then, and only then, consider the possibility of a relationship.

I'm sorry for the long post but you did ask....

I am actively blocking people off at a subconscious level despite being able to communicate fine with them. It seems my body is trying to kill me(or at least make me want to kill me) or make someone else kill me. I have felt in the past four months or so more anger and resentment towards other people than I can remember. I feel like whenever I’m behind someone sitting in front of me or passing them on the street a strong desire to strangle them or punch them in the face or push them into a moving car really just any act of unrestrained uncalled for violence even though I am not capable of doing so. This is all very contrary to how I normally act I am quiet and can’t help but be nice to people but this growing sense of violence worries me a lot. Its also being reflected in how I interact with my friends I will insult them and ignore them even when they are the only people I have to talk to(all three of them)I also have been avoiding them recently. Something in me is trying to ruin my life it’s like my flight or fight switch is stuck in flight I’m just running away in an extreme way maybe. Or I could just be blaming all my problems and failures on something that doesn’t exist to lessen the bouts of anger and sadness directed at myself for doing stupid things. Like maybe I am just throwing a pity party for myself or maybe I am throwing a pity party for throwing a pity party.

I am also becoming disconnected with reality I will sometimes look at my cell phone messages and wonder if they are really there or not. My reasoning is failing I will know the answer sometimes without thinking about it consciously. I’ll skip or confuse words in conversation and I’ll sometimes see things but not interpret them like there will be a gap in my head for some reason.

I don’t get it this feeling I don’t understand it. It’s like I’m falling apart. I want to be different and alone and yet at the same time I want to be with people. I get lonely so easy. I see too many points of view. There are too many contradictions paralyzing me I actually didn’t eat one day because I didn’t leave my dorm room I still can’t figure out why I did that. I need to fix this or at least dispel my imaginary problems. But at the same time I’m perfectly fine and am doing fine aaaargh! wtf is wrong with me. Maybe I'm just jealous of the other people maybe i just need a more effective way of unleasing frustration or maybe I'm messed up in the head i have no idea I just know I need to do something or this is only going to get worse

>I don’t get it this feeling I don’t understand it. It’s like I’m falling apart.

Dear Oracle,

I'm in my mid 20's and have no dating experience. I'm quite confident I can sweep a woman off her feet but only afterwards, and I have proof of this. This isn't a fabrication. You see, I have trouble getting past the screening process. I think I just blew it with the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful woman I have ever met. I don't want to miss out on her. I want to get to know her better. I want to make her smile. I want to be a part of her life. But I have little hope that will happen now. I'm going to tell her how I feel and be done with it.

What wisdom can the Oracle offer me?

>I'm going to tell her how I feel and be done with it.

Do that only if you want to liquidate this story: your chances are not nil, but low. A more reliable way is to get to know her better, so that you can find ways of spending time together having fun. Once you get her to spend time with you, it's a matter of doing more and more things that couples do, until gradually you become a couple.

>Should I just contact her then to see how she's doing, pretend that nothing's wrong?

No. The girl you are interested in is shy, insecure, and with a compulsive need to be in control. She uses the phone, mail and internet to firewall herself against others. Insisting to use those means when she's blocking you will at best inconvenience her, or worse make her panic. Never leave more than one unanswered mail or voicemail. Better yet, realize that she's not using those channels in a normal way, so rely less on them.

The best approach with her is live contact. This is complicated by the fact that you don't live in the same town, and don't go to the same school as her. So you need to make sure to know about (or create) social events with common friends in which she will be present, so that you can meet her. You also need to find a good reason to go often to her town (move, work, join a sports club there), so that you can justify casual meetings with her (for instance to bring her a book you discussed about, etc). Be interested in her, but undemanding, not to scare her off. Only when she gets used to seeing you frequently, and you get familiar with her quirks, can you consider pushing things further. To sum it up, no live contact, no girl.

>>37
Shy, yes. Insecure, probably. Controlling, well she doesn't seem like the control freak type, but what do I know? I dislike control freaks, but I need more confirmation than just this.

Yes, I learned about messages the hard way. I should've known this by now though, shouldn't have I? I just hope I don't pay the price for that, as it would be a heavy one.

My friend doesn't live too far from her, and we only met because of her actions. I had asked about meeting up, which she agreed to at first, but then expressed hesitation. Arranging an event requires her input, does it not? You can't expect her to show up for something she doesn't know she's supposed to. Showing up to something without her knowing would be crossing that stalker line, no? Moving is of course, is an unfeasible and ludicrous option, which would surely cross that line. A job is reasonable, if I could find one. Maybe I could find out about a school event, but once again, this requires contacting her. I have been going up and hanging out with my friend recently, but I don't really want to involve her any further in this. Is there any other way, or is going about having her as a intermediary the best way?

And thank you for your counsel Oracle.

>...without her knowing would be crossing that stalker line

The boundary between courting and stalking is blurry, but make sure not to come off the wrong side of the line. Your intuition is correct, however you must not lazily stop at the first conclusion, but react to it: if you're joining an event to which she takes part, it's because you have a reason to be there, so it's your job to find out which one it is, or engineer it. Same goes for an event that you organize. You organize an event to which she takes place because you did your homework and know that she comes to this type of meet ups, or has a reason to do so (hint: birthday parties). No live contact, no girl: this is where the buck stops, hence the beginning of your thinking.

>I don't really want to involve [my friend] further in this. Is there any other way, or is [...] having her as a intermediary the best way?

Don't overuse your friend, limit yourself to information gathering or critical stuff. Having more common friends is a good idea. Keep it subtle.

>>39
We had our first meeting at my friend's party. She invited her. It was very convenient and non-threatening. I saw her again at an event she participated in over the summer, and I had told her I was coming, but she didn't get the message, so she was surprised to see me but didn't seem creeped out or frightened. She told me to come to the next one and I did. I brought a flower each time, which she received well. The second time was around her birthday, so cause she took the flower well, I got a card, the most non-threating, non-intimidating card I could find, with the most neutral message inside. I haven't seen her since though. That was about two months ago. I guess I'll need to find an event at her school, but there's no way to tell if she's going to be going to anything other than asking her, and you said not to contact her. Do you see my dilemma Oracle? That is why I have sought you out. My friend has seen her once on campus, and I don't know anyone the girl may associate with at school.

>Do you see my dilemma Oracle?

The Oracle has spoken. Barring new developments, it has nothing further to add.

I understand, thank you for your wisdom Oracle.

I have contacted her friend to find out how long she isolates herself and to see if the girl has shared anything with her friend about me. Maybe this will give me a better idea of my next course of action, or maybe she can help me out, since she actually associates with her. I understand the risks of discussing things with the friend. It is always dangerous territory. Although, it's possible I insulted the friend, as I expressed hesitation when she wanted to add me on Facebook, citing stalker territory. I did however eventually add her and apologized for my rudeness.

By the way, I am a college graduate. The girl I am pursuing goes to my alma mater.

Hey Oracle:

My boyfriend is very insecure about his own abilities. He keeps insisting that we shouldn't be together because I'm smarter than him, etc. (and he refuses to believe me or anyone else when they tell him he's very talented himself). He says that he's born that way and that he won't change, even if he's wrong. Is there anything I can do to help him?

Is there anything I can do to help him?

[Continued]
Besides discussing with your boyfriend about the causes and misconceptions behind his problems, the best way to help him is to accompany him and discuss on the subjects where he feels insecure.

While discussing with him, show and train him how to properly evaluate his performance: If he does something well, don't tell him he's "good", or "smart", but explain to him why you think that what he achieved is good (and get his opinion), and be specific, no generalities. If he fails or under-performs, get him to explain and discuss what did not work and why, and force him to give up on explanations based on his lack of worth by concentrating on the concrete causes of failure. (BTW, if one day you have kids, never compliment them on their worth, but on the worth of what they did. Same goes for the bad things).

Get him to speak out his thought process, when he discusses his abilities, and correct him as you go. Ideas like "I'm good", "I'm not good" or "I'm not good enough" should be banned from his thought process. He should think "this was good because of [this specific reason]", "this was not good because of [that specific reason]". If you think like that you know what to change when you fail, and what to keep when you succeed.

Also, never again accept that he tells of him that he's stupid or you smart; he should always give context: I did this poorly because of this and that, or you did better than me at that because of etc...

Beware: you will push him out of his comfort zone (otherwise he would not change), so it's likely that he'll turn his discomfort against you. Don't take it personally, and don't let it escalate. When it happens, give him some slack, and try a different approach. Otherwise he'll develop the habit of attacking you as a new defense mechanism.

>>45
Thank you for your advice. But just one thing: could you give an example of a "different approach"?

(Note: Unfortunately, he's already started the habit of attacking me. Fun times.)

>could [the Oracle] give an example of a "different approach"?

What is your current approach? Also, by different approach the Oracle means communication approaches. The general strategy remains the same, as long as the problem does not change.

>he's already started the habit of attacking me

Describe how this happens. How the conversation starts, and how it leads to the attacks.

Oracle the game has changed. Should i start killing people instead of beating the shit of out of them. The system doesn't work even moon knight has become a pussy me rip off. What do i do?

What do i do?

Oracle, I'm 25, single, handsome and tall. I want to get rid of my singlehood, but I am attracted to women much older or much younger: 35 and 16. What do?

>>47

and what do you do when the source of this self deception is a defense mechanism to someONE in their life?

you can't very well convince someone of the toxicity someone represents, especially if they're family because they represent the normal, and Secret Admirer >>43 represents the anomaly to be rejected.

>I want to get rid of my singlehood, but I am attracted to women much older or much younger: 35 and 16. What do?

Unless you want to father ten kids, you are much better off going for older women: sex is better, since women's libido increases in their thirties, not to mention that they are more casual and experienced. It could take years for a teen to feel comfortable doing stuff that older women will immediately accept or even suggest. Courtship is also easier, since you don't have to deal with curfews or overbearing parents.

But more important reasons to prefer older women are that they are in the process of realizing or have realized their potential, whereas teens are limited to a sea of potentials. When dealing with a woman in her thirties, you know immediately whether she is able to keep fit, what is the breadth of her world experience, what are her tastes, personality, and how far she has developed her interests and career. With a teen you place a bet and hope for the best, with a mature woman it's just a matter of choosing what you want, based on what you see.

Furthermore, because mature women have experience with previous romantic relationships, and perhaps even a divorce under the belt, you can benefit from a more stable and grounded in reality set of expectations. For instance, you won't have to deal with the issue that your teen girl partner wants to know how it is to go out with other guys when she reaches her twenties (not that mature women are more faithful, but they are more stable in their long term choices).

Going for older women also has disadvantages. Women will have a harder time to take your interest seriously, but that's nothing that a bit of persistence can't overcome. More problematic, for biological reasons you need to decide quite soon whether you want to have kids with your new partner. Still, at least the good point of older women is that they know pretty well whether they want to have kids or not, whereas for teens their current opinion is meaningless.

As for where to find candidates, just remember that because of the realized potential issue, finding appropriate older women is more context dependent than teens. So it pretty much depends on your tastes and interests.

>what do you do when the source of this self deception is a defense mechanism to someONE in their life[...], especially if they're family

What you really want to avoid is to have a conflict with your partner about his family. If it comes to chose between you and the family, you're likely to lose. So you should not antagonize this person in the family as a whole, but counter specifically the aspect of her influence that annoys you, while displaying acceptance of the person herself.

A good way to counter the influence of an elder family member is to expose your partner to role models of the same age and status, and which follow successfully the values and ideals you profess.

This guy I like is quite tall. He keeps making fun of my height affectionately, but nonetheless making me feel like a kid.
Is being too short unattractive? I'm probably a good 30cm shorter..

>Is being too short unattractive?

There are no rules, some men actually prefer shorter partners, others not.

Since he teases your height in a friendly way, it probably means that he does not really consider it a flaw, perhaps he even likes it. People usually don't joke in a casual way about what they see as serious flaws.

Orcale, this is >>40. I contacted her friend asking about the hiding and she sent me a response. I might've irked her a little bit, implying games were being played with me, as her tone seemed a little defensive, but this could be easily misinterpreted, as it's just text. She said don't misunderstand her, the girl doesn't play games. She's not like that. She's not mean. I sent a response apologizing if I offended her and attempted to normalize relations by starting general conversation.

I also contacted the girl. Her status messages have become increasingly disturbing, so I felt like I should contact her and see how she's doing. I explained I didn't contact her in a while to give her space and expressed my concern without citing any particular reason, just that I suspect something is going on and offered some encouragement. I told her I think she's a strong person. I'm not going to get into details, but I have learned things about her that make me think so, I like strong women. I can't be dealing with the damsel in distress all the time. It's OK once in a while though. I also said I know she'll get through this and if she wants to talk, I'm willing to listen. I'm aware this puts me at risk for the friend zone, but I'm worried about her, which really makes no sense this early on, but when does romance make sense?

There is an event going on at school this Friday that my friend wants to go to. She suggested I call the girl and see if she wants to go, cause I had a valid reason to call. Well, no surprise, she didn't answer, so I left a message, telling her about the event. I hope she'll show up, but I'm not holding my breath for a response of any kind about this or the message I sent.

My friend says she had a good dream about me and the girl. We were spending time together, enjoying ourselves. I fully believe in dreams as premonitions and so does she, but I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything. I guess only time will tell.

>>55
Thanks Oracle. I'm not entirely convinced that he sees me as even a potential candidate, but I have a little more hope.

>I also contacted the girl.

Did you actually speak with her? From your report, sounds like it was a monolog.

>There is an event going on at school this Friday that my friend wants to go to.

Unless she comes, there seems to be no progress so far. It's still no live contact, no girl.

>>58
Sorry, I wasn't specific, Oracle. No I didn't speak to her. I sent her a Facebook message. That might actually get through though. The content of the message starts with this in my previous post.

>I also contacted the girl. Her status messages have become increasingly disturbing, so I felt like I should contact her and see how she's doing.

Unfortunately, when I called her about the event, she didn't answer, and I had to leave a message. Yes, I understand no real, physical contact = no chance. I'm not counting on her actually showing up tonight. But either way, getting out is good for me, and I get to spend time with my friend.

Oh Great Oracle, I have come from the projects to seek your advice. I’m 21 and have been single my whole life. Every time I showed interest in a girl I got shot down. This semester I figured it would be more of the same shit so I was planning to avoid romance all together and level up some. To my surprise though there was one girl that I could not seem to ignore. She sat in the corner by herself doing whatever things she was doing behind her computer screen. She spent most of the class with head phones on and talked to no body. This class we have meets only once a week so I have only seen her for about five days now. For the first two days my interest in her was only a mild curiosity with no real intentions behind it. However on the third day I decided for whatever reasons to great her when she entered the room. To my surprise she returned the greeting with a smile. After this I became more intrigued. The next class I managed to make small asides and jokes with her during class and she laughed and seemed happy. When class ended we left at about the same time so I struck up a small conversation about the completed work and we went our separate ways. Yesterday was day five and by then I had realized that I was interested in her. I decided to get bold and changed my seat to sit next to her. To my luck she was not put off. Throughout the class we talked about our ambitions, made small talk, and consulted each other on the work we were doing. When class ended we once again walked to the parking lot together talking about jobs. As we parted ways I confirmed that I knew her name and she told me to just use the shortened version.

And here comes the hard part. I don’t know where to go from here. She is perhaps the most interesting girl I’ve ever met. To be clear I don’t mean that she is beautiful and kind and perfect in every way. I’ve had that feeling before and it’s the most foolish and shallow kind of attraction. This is something new. While she is attractive it’s more in the “nice girl” kind of way, like the kind of girl your parents would be happy to see you with. What I think I’m attracted to is the feeling she gives off. She’s the kind of girl I’d like to cuddle with on the couch and watch movies with. To put it simply she feels right. I really don’t want to get Friendzoned here because I think I might actually have a chance. At the same time I don’t want to scare her off by acting to soon. What should I do?

>I don’t know where to go from here.

Your priority now should be to get to know her as well as possible, and create good times together. You should learn what are her activities, hobbies, centers of interest and values. As you get to know her better, turn this info into new ways of meeting her, doing things with her. Does she like a certain style of music/film/book? Lend her something of yours that you think she would like, or go to a concert or jazz-bar, etc.

Shared enjoyable experiences are a powerful way of bonding. What you do depends not only on her tastes, but also on yours. Simply concentrate on those interests of her that also motivate you, so that both of you enjoy the ride and want more of it. Motivate her to wish to spend more time with you.

As you learn more about her, share also info about you. It will be enjoyable for her, and is a good way to show that she matters to you, since you find her worthy of sharing those topics. Just avoid talking too long about you. A good way to know if you should proceed is to notice if she keeps asking you questions. As long as she asks you stuff, it's safe to continue.

>I really don’t want to get Friendzoned

Nobody gets friendzoned. What happens is that people retreat into friendzone for fear of rejection. Everyone who claims to have been friendzoned is simply lying and not taking responsibility for his actions.

The way to avoid ending up in Friendzone is simple: you just avoid behaving like a friend, and instead you behave like a suitor. You don't want to befriend this girl, you want to date her. The behaviors leading to friendship and dating are different, and it's only if you mix both that you will end up in Friendzone.

As someone who wants to date the girl, you will prefer to spend time with her alone, and not with other people. It's ok to get to know her friends, but that's about it. She is the point of interest, not the other people. So just make sure you are meeting her mostly alone.

Friends have common interests. For a suitor, the girl IS the interest, so show it. Pay attention to her, and note things about her. Probably things that you like about her, but not only. Show that you are watching her (for instance, failing to notice her new haircut would be bad). Since you are attracted to her, praise her for what pleases you. But don't flatter her, she'll understand and hate it: just say what you like about her, without overbearing her. It can be clothes, some interest or trait of character she has, whatever. You are basically conveying the idea that you mind her and like stuff about her.

Touch her. Regardless of whether you live in a culture where people touch each other a lot, or very little, DO touch her. It can be subdued, like helping her enter somewhere, or giving/taking and object, or even unfolding some torn piece of clothing, to the more obvious like touching her hair (to make a comment on it or to settle it), or kissing good-byes. Use your judgment, but make sure you are touching her in a different way than how friends would touch each other. And remember it can stay subtle, but still be efficient.

BTW: if she likes to dance, then don't miss an opportunity to dance with her, even if you are terrible at it. If she enjoys dancing, then it will really be a good investment lo learn to dance. In any case, to be able to dance is always a good investment, as far as women are concerned.

>>59 here.

I went to the event with my friend, and while we were getting a bite to eat, she saw the girl and told her I was with her and to go say hi. We only got to talk for about 5 minutes, cause she was going somewhere, but it was worth it. I was kind of nervous around her. She made an observation that I'm a little OCD, as I spilled my drink when I went to hug her and reacted like I just spilled hers. She says she's doing OK, and when she asked about me, she mocked my answer but in a flirty sort of way, so then I elaborated that I'm looking for a better job.

I feel a lot better about things. I also feel like an idiot for not waiting a little longer to send out that message to her friend, so my only concern is with any moments of weakness I've displayed through my actions so far. Our hugs are long, so this is a good sign. She told me to let her know when I was around again, another good sign.

My friend told me she's in another show. She must've forgotten to tell me this. I'll have to find out when it is so I can go see it, preferably through herself.

What does the Oracle think?

>>61
For a project in one of my classes I am Planing to take a trip to To DC for the day to take some pictures. She is not in this class, but I thought I might invite her to come with me. Do you think its to soon to try something like this. I think it would show that I'm interested in her but I'm afraid its a bit to soon for a move like this. I figured i would take some pictures of the mall and visit some museums.

>What does the Oracle think?

She seems to be in a good disposition, so turn that goodwill into more opportunities to meet her. The show seems to be a good lead.

As usual, nothing moves as long as you don't meet her face to face, but so far the only way to get there seems to be through friends. Take good care of your common friends.

>For a project in one of my classes I am Planing to take a trip to To DC for the day to take some pictures. [...] I thought I might invite her to come with me. [Does the Oracle] think its to soon to try something like this.

Definitely give it a shot. Don't be disappointed or discouraged if she refuses, no harm will come out of that. While discussing the trip, be open to her explicit or implicit opinions about what to see or to do.

so i have a girlfriend. she is shaped like a real woman not a poster woman. by which i mean she has normal and very real curves that drive me nuts while at the same time not being the unattainable model of perfection the media assaults us with.

my cry for help is this, oh mighty oracle:

my girlfriend absolutely refuses to come to bed naked unless we are having a round of slap and tickle. she has a little bit of a tummy but not enough to disturb her aesthetically pleasing form.

she has never had anyone attracted to her before me so i can kind of understand where she is coming from but i have tried for two solid years to help her gain the confidence she so sorely needs and i do not think it is at all working.

all i am looking for is some advice or some tips i can use to further my trying to get her enough confidence to finally believe that A) i love to see her naked and B)finally believe that she is very good looking.

Hey Oracle, good to see you could take a break from helping me get the Amulet of Yendor to help people out with their relationship troubles. You may not recognize me, I was the last fifty-seven guys to come by your place and offer varying amounts of money for bits of advice.

Well, I've still got a few remnants of doubt about a situation going on with me. About a week ago I met and became a bit enamored with a very cool girl. But the problem is that a good friend of mine also likes her. But, he's got a girlfriend he's not willing to leave, he keeps risking his relationship to do things with this girl, and I'm not really doing much besides making the situation more aggrevating for him.

On top of that, some stuff happened during the weekend and I ended up having sex with one of her friends. She's understanding about it, but I can't help think I couldn't be taken seriously at all after all that. Plus it threw my head in kind of a loop, since the girl wasn't looking for anything but a one-night thing and I've been a strict romantic/virgin type most of my life.

I guess if I have to formulate any sort of question it'd be this: what the hell kind of ridiculous webcomic have I suddenly become the cast of?

>all i am looking for is some advice or some tips i can use to further my trying to get her enough confidence to finally believe that A) i love to see her naked and B)finally believe that she is very good looking.

>Hey Oracle, good to see you could take a break from helping me get the Amulet of Yendor to help people out with their relationship troubles. You may not recognize me, I was the last fifty-seven guys to come by your place and offer varying amounts of money for bits of advice

>what the hell kind of ridiculous webcomic have I suddenly become the cast of?

>>65
Oh Oracle. Due to her having to work on weekends the DC trip was a no go. She did not seem put off buy the invitation so I am planing to ask her to do something smaller. With regards to this I have a few questions.

Firstly, Should I invite her out the next time I see her next week or would that be to soon?

Also what kind of thing would make a good getting to know you date?

>Firstly, Should I invite her out the next time I see her next week or would that be to soon?

Go ahead, it won't be too soon.

>Also what kind of thing would make a good getting to know you date?

The Oracle advised you to get info on her: time to use that info. Depending on what you have learned, pick an activity that shows that you have been paying attention to her and that you understand her well. So what did you learn?

i've had feelings for a friend of mine for about two years, he found this out last weekiend. he said he's always had a soft spot for me and thinks about me a lot but he has been all hung up on this other girl for a couple months now, so typical love triangle situation...
what i want to know is, is this going anywhere? and if not, how can i move on? because i've tried distancing myself from him and rebound but it hasnt worked!

>he said he's always had a soft spot for me and thinks about me a lot but he has been all hung up on this other girl for a couple months now, so typical love triangle situation...

What has prevented him from making a move on her?

>what i want to know is, is this going anywhere? and if not, how can i move on? because i've tried distancing myself from him and rebound but it hasnt worked!

Give it a honest try with this guy, two years of crush deserve that much. Don't worry, if it doesn't work, it will be much easier for you to move on without regrets. Better to fail than not to try.
However take care not to end up in a permanently unbalanced situation. It's normal that initially you put more effort at seducing him, but if at the end of the day you don't feel that he's pushing for you, scrap the relationship.

I'm in love with this girl, A. Things been going smoothly until recently there's this female friend, B, had a personal problem. As a good friend i went to console her. After the incident, our relationship became better.
The problem is when i'm alone, i think of B. However when both of them is around, i totally focus on A. I'm totally confuse by myself. Oh great one, please give me your guidance.

>Oh great one, please give me your guidance.

Contrary to common belief, to love a person is no antidote against falling in love with someone else. Unless you are in an open relationship, this will put you in a tough spot and bring you to make some difficult choices. If you ambition to entertain a long term and stable relationship, you might as well learn to deal efficiently with these type of situations, because they will present themselves to you more than once.

The trick to solve this conundrum is to let yourself be guided by your confusion, instead of feeling lost and perplexed by it: accept that you have feelings for B, befriend and get to know her better, but continue to remain true to A and never make a move or behave ambiguously towards B as long as you are confused. Trying to avoid B or denying your feelings for her will only cause you to fall deeper in love with her. On the other hand, if during the next weeks and months you get to know B better and frequent her more as a friend, you will either realize that as time passes your infatuation for her decreases, so that she becomes simply a good friend of yours, or that the feelings you have for her become so imperative that it's obvious that you should break up with A and go with B. The idea is to let time sort out your feelings, instead of prematurely trying to reach a decision in a state of confusion. In this way, and whatever decision you reach in the end, you will have at all times remained loyal to A, B and yourself.

>>73
he did, and there was an intimate situation between them under the influence of alcohol, but she didn't want anything to do with him after that

i never really noticed if i was seducing him or not because i dont really think of myself as that and i wanted him to see me as i am than something im not.
but thanks oracle, i'll try to pluck up the courage and talk to him properly =]

If a guy likes you, would they talk about breasts and bikini babes to/in front of you? Is this the female version of friendzonage?

Just to clarify; I am a girl. Although I suppose that doesn't really matter.

>Is this the female version of friendzonage?

Pretty much so. It suggests that at the moment he's not trying to seduce you (unless he has a very clumsy way of attempting it). However, it does not mean that he does not like you, or that he could not develop an interest for you. But unless you take some form of initiative, probably nothing will happen in the near future.

>Is this the female version of friendzonage?

The advantage with the female version of friendzonage is that it is in 99% of the cases NOT definitive. Guys can almost always be swayed around at some point.

ever since a bad rejection a few months ago, i cant seem to stable my feelings, why is that?

>ever since a bad rejection a few months ago, i cant seem to stable my feelings, why is that?

Probably because you have not yet resolved some lingering issues resulting from that rejection.

A rejection is a blow for two main reasons: it questions you as an individual, and it induces feelings of loss of the person you were interested in as a lover. These two issues have very different consequences.

When a rejection attacks your identity, you may become frightened and insecure. You may become more inward, or waver, and be partially confused. Hence the instability. However you must realize that a rejection does not really inform you on your worth. No one alive today is so good that he or she would never be rejected by some other people. This is because accepting or rejecting someone is not so much linked to worth but to tastes, and tastes differ a lot. In this sense, a rejection is mostly a learning experience. With time, you will learn what kind of people like the type of person you are. It goes both ways. In time you'll learn what kind of person you are really interested in. Learning both things can sometimes be a long and difficult process, but still a necessary one to be able to establish a rewarding relationship. So don't come off a rejection thinking you are bad, but that at this moment this type of person does not fit with you, and you need to look further. That's why more experienced people will shrug off a disinterested party and move on, whereas more naive ones will agonize about their worthiness over the same episode.
This also holds true if you realize you were rejected for some mistake you did. You had to go through that to realize you should do things differently. This is how people learn about anything in life. One thing is certain, if you were rejected, it means that you tried, and trying is the most important condition to achieve something, so respect yourself for doing it.

A rejection also entails a form of mourning: the pain coming from the loss of a relationship that will never be. It's a paradoxical mourning, since the person is still there, but unattainable. Like other mournings, you have to go through different steps of coping such as denial, anger, despair and sadness. And like other mournings, the key is to accept your feelings so as not to retain them inside yourself, and allow your normal life, friends and time to gradually fade the pain. Otherwise you can become obsessed about your grief and stall in some form or another of mourning, leading to prolonged despair and bitterness.

>>62 here.

>With time, you will learn what kind of people like the type of person you are. It goes both ways. In time you'll learn what kind of person you are really interested in.

And that's why I'm 26 and never even kissed a woman, huh?

Forgive me for my outburst Oracle. It's just very frustrating for me to hear such things.
Shortly after a saw the girl, she responded to the message I had sent to her some time before. In it she said it was nice seeing me and admitted she had been being distant and voiced disapproval of her own behavior. She also said she was busy with school and got involved in some drama, said it was sweet of me to offer support, and thanked me.

I responded, advising her not to let the drama consume her and asked her what she does to unwind. Trying to keep the conversation going, I also asked if she's taking a lot of credits. I also made no big deal out of the tea I spilled, as it wasn't good, and complimented her hair, because I forgot to do this when I saw her. She had dyed it and trimmed it, but since then, she had added a new color, so I complimented this new look as well. I brought up the Halloween ball and said I might be around for that and closed saying I'd hope we'd see each other again soon. Looking, back I probably just should've asked her to the Halloween ball, instead of seeing if she expressed interest, since she's not the best with correspondence.

A few days later, I received a response from her friend. She accepted my apology. She said she was just looking out for her "sister." I can understand that. I probably would've reacted the same way. So I started a regular conversation with her.

We're just going to refer to the girl as M now. This is getting confusing. I wrote on M's wall, asking if she was in any upcoming shows, but I have yet to receive a response. The event is now posted and I've not received an invite. Maybe she just forgot or expects me to find out myself, since she told my friend she was in one. I would feel more comfortable knowing she wanted me to come than to have to guess. I don't want to creep her out. Even though she's been nothing but receptive so far, I need to know she would like me to come see the show and support her performance. I will bring a flower, of course. Should I decide to go, which I probably will. I'll probably go next week. It opens this weekend and closes next. The Halloween ball is next week, so she can't go to that, but I'm not even sure if I'm going to bother with the ball. My friend can't go either.

I felt like I should step up the comments on her Facebook, in order to show I'm still interested. I've been holding back, afraid of overwhelming her. My friend said it was OK, as long as I didn't spam her. I commented on her then most recent status about her discovering a new anime she liked, saying it was adorable. She responded with a smiley as a comment under her own status.

Then she posted a very revealing note on love and her fears of it. She dreads sharing secrets with someone she deeply cares for, and when she does click with someone, she becomes totally numb. This really bothers her, and she doesn't think a relationship with anyone would go well.

I too am terrified of sharing secrets with someone I truly care for. But there is a key difference between us. She's a beautiful girl, and I'm just an ordinary guy. That's how I feel at least. I've been told otherwise, but what proof do I have? Women will get approached. Guys have to do the approaching, so someone will eventually approach her and she'll find someone. And hopefully, that someone will be me.

I don't know if it was aimed at anyone in particular, but if I don't interpret it as a general cry for help, I will go crazy. I've had to partially numb myself to certain things in order to stay sane.

Continued

I asked my friend what I should do, and she said, "do what you feel is right," so I wrote a comment, saying that even though I couldn't understand what she's going through, cause I'm not her, I had been there before and have an idea what she's going through. I also said to please find someone to talk to, and I would listen if that person was me. Yes, this leaves me open to friendzonage, and it also reveals some of my insecurities/vulnerabilities, but I had to say something. I probably should've said something like love involves risk and no one is ever truly ready, no matter how they feel, but it's too late to say this now. It'll look weird if I post another comment on that note. Ugh, I'm always coming up with something good after the fact.

One of her more recent statuses involved being annoyed with people saying things over and over, running them into the ground. This might be about the responses she got to her note, not sure. Since then, I've backed off on the comments. I don't know what's too much or too little with her.

My friend's band is playing a show next month near her and it's all ages, so as long as everything with the show goes fine, I'm going to invite her. I really like their music, and I think she'd like it too, and we've yet to do anything alone.

>Forgive me for my outburst Oracle.

The Oracle forgives you, and will reformulate the sentence in a manner that makes sense to you. The rest of your post lacking a clearly formulated question, it will be considered a status report.

>And that's why I'm 26 and never even kissed a woman, huh?

By trial and error, you will learn what kind of people like the type of person you are. It goes both ways. With experience you'll learn what kind of person you are really interested in.

Sorry, I did not know my post had to contain a question, Oracle. I guess my question is, how dｏ　I know what's too much with the comments and what's too little? And should I go to the show even if she hasn't told me about it directly? It's on her wall to from other people mentioning it.

Oracle,

I, a male, am in love with my best friend. We met freshman year of college and she just graduated, while I am finishing my 5th year of school. She has moved to a town about 5 hours away from where I will be once I graduate. We keep in touch (about once or twice a month) and she recently visited town for my birthday, and paid the bill for the birthday dinner ($120). She only recently broke up with her boyfriend a couple of months ago but they are still talking and she isn't sure about the whole situation with them ("a break up is never a break up"). We have been good friends for such a long time too that I feel guilty for developing romantic feelings for her recently. But I feel, right or not, that she is perfect, and as a result I barely make an effort when it comes to other girls. Moreover, over the course of the 5 years we have known each other, I have changed a lot and gained more confidence, but lately I have been wondering if I have been changing myself in order to meet her expectations or if I am really doing it for myself, and I'm confused.

My two questions:
1) Using your future telling powers, is there ever a chance that we end up together? Is there a situation where later in life, she realizes that I'm the one and returns my reciprocated love? Or is even having that mindset ruinous and dangerous to my person?
2) A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life?

>1) Using your future telling powers, is there ever a chance that we end up together?

Yes. And my powers suggest that this chance involves you getting rid of your guilt and starting to actively seduce her.

>Is there a situation where later in life, she realizes that I'm the one and returns my reciprocated love? Or is even having that mindset ruinous and dangerous to my person?

That mindset is ruinous: if you go to sit at the bottom of a cave, and expect that a passer by will hire you to a good paying job, and another one will confess to you, you will live a very lonesome and sad life. By waiting, you forsake your ability to shape your life, and get what you want. Since in this case you know what you want, you should be in your active mode and doing everything you can to get it.

>2) A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life?

Yes. And people are hit by lightening, win lotteries, and flipped coins can fall in an upright position. Romance movies are entertainment, not documentaries. But since they operate by titillating the fantasies and wishes of the audience, you can use them as inspiration for your dates, if you know that the girl you are interested in likes this or that movie. But have some common sense and don't use them as references for your life. Your feelings and those of your partner should shape your life, not some random movie which has a completely different agenda.

i has cold.. tell me if i get awesome gain for tomorrow?

Dear Oracle,

Bitches and whores. What do?

> Bitches and whores. What do?

In the immortal words of one Doctor Dre: "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"
Go for the whores.

>i has cold.. tell me if i get awesome gain for tomorrow?

This is Oracle's romance problem-solving department, for forecasts please contact Oracle's Delphic services.

Oracle,

I'm a 21 year old guy, currently in university. About two years ago I started hanging out with a group of friends that I now think of as my closest friends.

A few months ago I found myself developing feelings for a girl in this group, but I tried to shrug it off in favor of keeping the friendship, which I value very highly. However I soon found myself unable to stop thinking of her and realized I was in love with her.

I'm going with her to a series of films in the next week or so, since there's a film festival going on here and we thought it sounded like a fun idea. After that is over I'm going to tell her how I feel about her.

I don't want to try and repress this anymore, because it just hurts since I see her a lot these days.

So my question is if this is a good idea? I'm not sure if she even suspects that I might have feelings for her so it might come as a shock to her.

I apologize for any bad english, as it is not my primary language.

>So my question is if this is a good idea? I'm not sure if she even suspects that I might have feelings for her so it might come as a shock to her.

In general confessions should only be made when you are quite confident about the outcome. Before that you should rather build intimacy with her. So going to a film festival is a good idea (as long as it's only the two of you, not with other friends). Learn as much as possible about her, and get her to do things alone with you. If you see that she spends time with you and that the feeling is good, don't hesitate to raise the stakes (doing activities that couples usually do).

It's good that you have feelings for the girl, and wish to confess, but it's better if you give her the chance to get used to the idea that she likes to spend time with youbefore having to make a decision when you confess to her.

This guy used to be friends with me before; he helped me with studying Japanese and he was good at it so I looked up to him. Then, He began to be mean to me after wards and yesterday he said this:

"let me be straight with you
i dont mind talking with you
but you just go on yapping
you dont know when to stop
it really gets on my nerves"

I barely even spoke to him this whole goddamn year and I only see him on chat. And every chat had bitter words and endings. I can't even say a decent 'hi, how are you?'

" YOU YAP
there is a difference between
talking too much
and yapping
your pointless chatter is just that.. POINTLESS
5:46 PM is what people called YAPPING
talking is different on the other hand
so frankly... i am scared to talk with you... because i dont know when you will stop..."

Yapping? When was there yapping if I couldn't even TALK?!
Also Oracle I don't talk like the way he describing me to,
he's exaggerating.

Now, this is the guy who also helped me in my studying and stuff, But he's real nasty now. And I hate myself because I just can't stop looking back to what once was. I want you yell at him but I can't do it. But I want to.

Help me, Oracle

(Also please stay here. You're advice on the other posts is good)

>Help me, Oracle

Regardless of whether you talk too much or in a pointless way, his behavior indicates that he's not feeling well, and for some reason is probably under stress. You might want to know what's wrong with him, perhaps he's used to be a listener, and now needs someone who will listen to him.

You can also tell him that you respect him, and that he's welcome to be frank with you, and let you know if something upsets him or if he wants to do or talk about something different. You are ready for a fresh start with mutual respect, but if he continues to behave aggressively and show disrespect for you, you'll have no choice but to give up on him.

Hey, Oracle, lemme ask you something.

I dropped out of college about a year ago. Maybe I didn't have the motivation to go on in a field like IT; maybe I just had the same problem I've always had, which is that I'm really bad at following deadlines. Either way, I've been considering going back to school for something different, with several reasons in mind: it's something to get me out of the house, it's another chance to get a good head start on doing something with my life, it's an excellent way of meeting a girl.

Regardless of all that, I know this: I cannot stand school, and I cannot easily convince myself to submit to another 4 years of bullshit, no matter how much of it is important bullshit. Yet, I find that this remains the best option right now-- there's little chance of me finding a meaningful (or even satisfying) job with my minimal experience, and I seem to spend more and more time indoors instead of going out and DOING things.

I am left with a dilemma. On one hand, a few years of hardships in exchange for rejuvenating my possibilities: on the other, a life of little personal advancement but all the time in the world for self discovery and reflection. It's in my nature to sit back and think instead of "just doing it," although I'd like to think that it's not a terrible thing to be able to be rational about things.

Anyway, Oracle. Tell me, because I can't tell for myself. How hard should I be pushing myself to go back to school?

Also, can you please suggest a better idea for meeting a girl aside from school-related activities? Because it's really depressing to think that that's my only real option, and I'm not exactly the bar/pub kind of guy.

Oh yeah, and when's your next stable release?

>Tell me, because I can't tell for myself. How hard should I be pushing myself to go back to school?

Being faced with two unpalatable options is often the sign that one is ignoring a third possibility. The Oracle suggests that since you lack motivation and self-management skills, you should opt for an apprenticeship based education, instead of the classic ex-cathedra one.

Having a mentor that closely monitors you - instead of being an anonymous student in a class - is probably what you need, at least at the beginning of your education, until you develop enough self discipline and working habits to carry on by yourself. Check the internet, the local social and educational services for guidance on what's available in your region that best fits your needs.

Besides, IT is not your only (or best) option. Maybe there is something less obvious or "glamorous" that actually suits you better on a day to day basis. Doing some short term internship/voluntary work may widen your perspectives, and make things more concrete and less abstract to you.

>Also, can you please suggest a better idea for meeting a girl aside from school-related activities? Because it's really depressing to think that that's my only real option, and I'm not exactly the bar/pub kind of guy.

Your difficulties in meeting girls stem from similar problems that prevent you from engaging professionally in active life. What are your interests? Define them and turn them into group activities. Don't agonize over this subject. Just think about it for five minutes, and act upon it. Learn to ruminate less and try more. As you try things, unsuspected opportunities will present themselves to you. Mortal brains are too small to encompass the reality they live in, so their best strategy is to try stuff in order to discover what they cannot understand from the beginning. Doing nothing will bring you nothing except depression, contempt and self-pity.

>Oh yeah, and when's your next stable release?

Oracle's release cycles revolve around mortal generation times, instead of annual or quarterly releases. Check back when you have grand-kids.

i recently like this girl in my college, we've been pretty close latley and people sometimes get the idea we're together, the problem is that she say she treats me like a brother but we're always flirting around on msn. i know i prob dont have a high chance if im being treated like a brother but i get the feeling that she feels something more as well, just the way she looks at me. she also just recently changed her hair style to a style i like and she knows about it, what do i do now?

>what do i do now?

Treat her like she is your girlfriend, and not just a simple friend or a sister.

This means do things with her that you would do with your girlfriend: go out, eat, drink or stroll with her, spend time just the two of you. Also make sure you often touch her in a way that is still acceptable in your culture but unusual between friends.

If you do this and she plays along, people will not be wrong about their assumptions, and when both of you are comfortable and used to it just make it official to her that you are dating in a way that you find appropriate (confession, asking to date her, etc).

>>95

Oracle it's me >>94

I'd try talking to him but mother says he's far too arrogant to listen and it's futile. I think it's just fine as long as I get the point across...and if he still is mean; I'd give up on him like you tell me. What do you think?

I am curious Oracle, what are your qualifications for your position.

>I'd try [...] but mother says [...]. I think [...]. What do you think?

The Oracle has spoken. What you do with it is up to you.

>Oracle, what are your qualifications for your position.

Basic requirements include being clairvoyant and immortal.

Field experience with mortals' affairs is a plus.

What should i consider when i'm getting christmas for the girl i like.

christmas present*

>What should i consider when i'm getting a christmas present for the girl i like.

There are two approaches that convey different meanings:

To show that you are thoughtful and pay attention to her: think about her interests, hobbies and needs, and what could complement them: if she has some hobby that requires some gear, offer her some piece of equipment. If she likes music, consider concert tickets (so both of you can go), or some music player. If she likes to read, offer some less obvious book of an author, genre she likes, etc.

To show that you are attracted to her: buy her something to wear. The easy way is to buy some earrings (saves you the trouble of figuring out which size of clothing fits her). But if you feel confident, you can offer her a stylish dress, or another piece of clothing if she does not like dresses. In any case, pick up something you think will look really good on her, that's part of the statement you are making.

Hi Oracle,

I've been reading all of your responses and I'm impressed with your balance of wit and rationality. I feel comfortable enough to have a reasonable, guided answer from you.

Five years ago, I laid my eyes on a complete stranger--a stranger in terms of communication of any kind, but not a stranger to my sentiments. She was viscerally, the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I was actually alone in church when this happened, and she was alone when she walked into the pews in front of me. Absolutely nothing happened on this day, and I never saw her again.

Until this year.

I saw her twice already in church this year. Once was with her parents, grandparents, sister, and her sister's partner; the other time was when she was with just her mother. I'm aware that she has made eye contact with me at least once during both occasions, and has shaken my hand during the first occasion, (a result of "the sign of peace"). I know she'll be back again.

I'm usually comfortable approaching strangers I'm not attracted to but, I can't seem to approach this woman, for I don't have any purpose to speak with her. The only thing I'm certain of is the trait inside me that is compelled to make something happen. I've already decided that something needs to be done. My intuition tells me that I would be overwhelmed with joy sharing my happiness with her for the rest of my life. Based on knowing nothing about her, I've chosen to love her; a statement with usually profound connotations, yet... I find nothing profound about it.

If it helps to describe what I've observed as for a more suitable approach: Five years ago she wore a white turtleneck sweater, a mid-length green, floral dress and heels. Her hair was parted in the middle, and came straight down. With her family she wore a green tank top and jeans. Her hair was casually fixed. With just her mother, she wore a purple pea-coat, jeans, heels, and she had black, plastic-rimmed glasses on. Her hair was intentionally curled. She has always carried a regal, elegant demeanor, for she always holds her body up in a firm, almost assertive way. Her posture is always straight, and she walks with a purposeful step. When praying, she remains deep in prayer and doesn't interrupt herself for anything; she keeps her eyes closed, and her fists clenched together, even while everyone else has finished praying. She treats her family with sincere respect and affection--she physically displays her affection with a hug or a kiss on the cheek with each of her family members during the "sign of peace." She holds her grandmother's arm while walking out of the church, and she holds her mother's arm as well. She is a woman who evidently, knows exactly what she values, and cherishes it.

If at all possible, please advise me in becoming that certain someone that can give her the same endearing love she gives to her family. I will approach her this Sunday, and I ask for some guidance.

>[Oracle], please advise me in becoming that certain someone that can give her the same endearing love she gives to her family. I will approach her this Sunday, and I ask for some guidance.

What was the outcome of last Sunday's initiative? Was she there at all?

In any case, your first steps are simple enough: learn as much as possible about her, and provide yourself an opportunity to speak to her regularly.

If you approach her in church you could remark that recently you've seen her attending more regularly, and whether she has moved into town. Whatever her answer is, you can learn more about whether she's living in your town, what's her name, the family context (you should also learn as much as possible about her family), etc.

Depending on the information you get, your strategy will be different. For instance, if she's living in another town, you can tell her that you would like from time to time to ask her advice or tips on that town, and exchange e-mails. If she's living in town you can discuss about her neighborhood, her activities there, etc. Also sprinkle some info on you from time to time to make it a more balanced exchange, and provide hooks for further contact. Anything you hear or tell may be used later to talk to her again in church.

If you did not see her last Sunday, and have reasons to fear that she won't be around for a while, then you have no choice but to approach and get to know her sister, so that you can get more info on the girl. Just use the same strategy, some mild curiosity and then develop the conversation.

As for the shallowness of your feelings, worry not, at the moment it is enough that they exist: that alone is sufficient reason to act.

Hey Oracle
Why?

>Why?

Because it was fated so.

Oracle, Merry Christmas!
P.S. Good to know there will always be someone out there to answer my question.

Hey Oracle.
There is someone who harasses me through the internet in a way that is not against the law but it still scares the shit out of me.
What should I do?

>What should I do?

You should clear up the situation so that any further harassment can be exposed as such. This means two things:

• that you should tell this person that from now on you do not wish him/her to contact you in any way. Keep it brief and to the point.
• that from now on you will under no circumstances contact or answer this person.

This strategy has two benefits: most trolls get tired of not getting any reaction and just give up, and any further contact from this person can be unambiguously classified as harassment.

Although unpleasant, the good point of online harassment is that it's very easy to gather evidence of the deed. So save all messages (mail, chat, etc) that this person has or will send you, plus your own messages. Once you have accumulated enough evidence, you can start using it: if the critter is annoying you via mail, contact his/her service provider. If the problem occurs via chat/forum/social network, contact the people responsible for the service. If you know who is doing this, or if the situation is getting threatening, you should contact the appropriate police services. In any case, if things are not working for you, just contact who@ (http://www.haltabuse.org/help/respond.shtml), they will be able to support you with specific and non anonymous help.

Oracle, I'm kind of stupid with things.
What counts as a date?

Its stupid to tell anyone my problem, the answer is simple,

However, I love her, she hates me, we used to talk, then one day she just vanished off the face of the earth.

I still waste all my time waiting thinking she will come back.

Hey Oracle.
What I must to to made some people understand such concepts as 'The Right to be Left Alone' or 'privacy'?

The concept of the right to be left alone dates back to a 1928 Supreme Court wiretapping decision called Olmstead vs. the United States in which the Supreme Court Justice Brandeis said "the protection guaranteed by the amendments (of the Constitution) is much broader in scope. The makers of our Constitution undertook to secure conditions favorable to the pursuit of happiness. They recognized the significance of man's spiritual nature, of his feelings and of his intellect . . . They sought to protect Americans in their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions, and their sensations. They conferred as against the government the right to be left alone -- the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men."

oracle, why do you give up your time to help people over the internet?

there's something that's been bothering me lately and won't seem to go away. is it just me, or is everyone into asian chicks these days? maybe it's because i majored in asian studies in college and am now living in japan, but it seems like every white guy i've met in the past 4 years has had yellow fever. nowadays i can't even visit a website without having to read about how asian girls are sooo hot and non-asian women are for the birds. is this mentality really that prevalent, or am i just hanging out with the wrong crowds/visiting the wrong blogs and websites? i don't remember guys being this obsessed when i was growing up, but (in my life at least) it seems to be becoming the normP

I want to get in touch with a person, but don't know how
what if that person just kidding around?

Dear Oracle
I thought I was over my ex but last night I dreamt i saw her with someone else and I got really upset and angry. Waking up I realized maybe I'm not as over her as I thought. How do I move on?

>>117

I love asions so much ohmmmmm

Because of some unexpected circumstances today only http://genki-genki.com/ turns me on.
HALP

Oracle is on holidays?!