Commuter Advice? (4)

1 Name: Naruhodo : 2009-09-13 01:52 ID:Ebz54ltS

Hello everyone,

     I am here for a little advice, maybe people who have had similar experiences can share. Here is some background info about me:

I've never kissed a girl or even held hands with one, had a handful(4-7? under 10 for sure) of crushes since middle to high school. I've never really felt the need to have a girlfriend, and I guess was affected by a history teacher once telling about his son's dating and jokingly saying "it'll probably end in tears like most teenage relationships(laugh)". So I played basketball my first 2 years of HS then my friends moved away and I moved indoors and played cards in the cafeteria with some other friends(I didn't mind that I looked somewhat nerdy, I was self aware about it and was doing something I enjoy and if I wasn't looking for a girlfriend I didn't have to worry about my image). I learned to socialize and not be afraid to meet new people through a trip to Taiwan which forced me to interact with complete strangers because they were my team members(but I can't find it being too applicable to the situation I am in now, or I just haven't found that connection). Only confessed once through text message, she said she liked me back but I lost contact with her for about 6 months. Happens that she got a boyfriend during that time and totally forgot about me(her loss amirite?). My interests are watching anime(not hardcore fanboi, just some and I like to avoid mainstream ones), and gaming. I'm not a full on otaku, but you could say I'm more knowledgeable in most things than your average casual anime/mecha fan(weeaboo? maybe). I prefer to wear jeans and a "regular" t-shirt, ones that don't have hipster designs and just be a "guy"[hard to explain](I prefer to not find myself looking like your average west coast college guy who wears either flip flops/plaid/tight jeans or tight shirt/dark baggy jeans/fat skater shoes) I don't want to fit into any trends and am not angsty or rebellious, hmm mental pause. Whew that was a long background, fast forward to NOW.

I'm a college student. I decided to change my image and start working out since I had the free time to do so, I look fit/lean now. Don't smoke or drink("aw dude you're missing out"[I don't think so, I'm under 21 btw]) I lived in dorms during the early part of my college life, mostly hanging out in my guy friend's dorm daily playing video games and watching shows together. I've been told I am quiet when I hang out in mixed groups(mostly because I can't connect with some people making cheesy jokes[lol numbed by 4chan and the internets?] or don't feel like there's anything to say, although I do laugh and joke myself and very often with my guy friends. I like the concept of chivalry. One of my guy friends told me I'd be totally cool if I acted that way if I could find a social outlet for it(but I have trouble being that casual gamer "me" when I'm with mixed groups). I met one girl through the school facebook group who at first seemed like my type but she had a different sense of humor than I did, as well as beliefs no big deal. I think I had a chance at something when a girl asked for stats help and she came to my dorm/sat close to me while she did her stuff, dunno. Wasn't my type since she was a texting machine and had bad(?) friends(in class one of the her guys friend sat next to me and he reeked of weed). At the end of the first year a girl(probably a one to four years older than me) asks for my phone number and email address so I can send her my art history lecture notes I took with my laptop(there were other girls with laptops and she had waited until the study session ended/empty room before asking me(another missed opportunity methinks).

Sorry about this incredibly long life story.

2 Name: Naruhodo : 2009-09-13 01:52 ID:Ebz54ltS

My mindset has changed over the summer and with the encouragement of my friends, I've decided I'm willing to try to get some experience. I try to feel confident and show it outwardly too(straight back, confident smile etc). This past August was the start of a new year and now I commute to school three days a week for about an hour each trip(bus and rail, I always doze off). So social life is virtually non-exsistant because of commuting(my classes are mostly lectures). It's hard to meet people in general. I would think asking a girl for her contact info to be study buddies might be a bit obvious. And initiating conversation in class is slightly awkward if she doesn't sit close to you. Another problem is that I'm concerned about what if the girl I meet doesn't like anime or have any common interests? Sure I've read about opposites attract/not having any similarities isn't a bad thing while lurking the internets, but I guess I still haven't found an answer to my worry. Short Story: I met a girl in an /r9k/ chatroom that liked smart/uncanny anime/had great taste in music/playing ds/recently tried building gundam models and enjoyed it, basically ideal(I could totally hang out with her, too bad she's on the other side of the country). HOW DO I FIND A GIRL LIKE THAT close to me? It seems like an impossible task to bump into, or to find a girl like that in any of my classes, or clubs(some of you might suggest, and I've considered).

Shed some light on this please!

3 Name: Naruhodo : 2009-09-13 04:55 ID:Ebz54ltS

Hmm I forgot to ask, I've heard people say never date in college, what are your opinions on that? I think I'd be fine with going through college without a date, but wouldn't avoid it, it sounds fun.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-13 05:29 ID:C364U7BB

Some people date in college, others not. I see no reason not to.

You definitely need to increase your social exposure to girls, if you want one day to meet a girl that fits your interests. Also, spending more time with girls will help you behave more naturally => find ways of getting to socialize more, and not less as you seem to be doing. This includes going to parties, having lunch together, etc.

The best way for you to meet people with similar interests is to join groups/clubs centered on stuff you like (anime, in this case). Also go to events centered on those interests. Finally, don't stress too much about a fit. The girl does not need to be your carbon copy, and the compatibility parameters are way too complex for you to hope to analyze them consciously (and don't forget that on top of it people change, relationships are very dynamic processes). Here is a shortcut into that: as long as you're interested in the girl, you're doing fine.

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