These situations are probably pretty common, so I apologize, still, at the risk of sounding egotistic, I want to at least believe my situation is somewhat unique
I, a male, am in love with my best friend. We met freshman year of college and she just graduated, while I am finishing my 5th year of school. She has moved to a town about 5 hours away from where I will be once I graduate. We keep in touch (about once or twice a month) and she recently visited town for my birthday, and paid the bill for the birthday dinner ($120). She only recently broke up with her boyfriend a couple of months ago but they are still talking and she isn't sure about the whole situation with them ("a break up is never a break up"). We have been good friends for such a long time too that I feel guilty for developing romantic feelings for her recently. But I feel, right or not, that she is perfect, and as a result I barely make an effort when it comes to other girls. Moreover, over the course of the 5 years we have known each other, I have changed a lot and gained more confidence, but lately I have been wondering if I have been changing myself in order to meet her expectations or if I am really doing it for myself, and I'm confused.
My two questions:
1) Do you guys ever see there being a chance that we end up together? Is there a situation where later in life, she realizes that I'm the one and returns my reciprocated love? Or is even having that mindset ruinous and dangerous to my person?
2) A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life? (After all, I came to this board because of Densha Otoko and because I'm in a serious mood right now, versus my normally light hearted thought process)
> Do you guys ever see there being a chance that we end up together?
> Is there a situation where later in life, she realizes that I'm the one and returns my reciprocated love?
> Or is even having that mindset ruinous and dangerous to my person?
All of the above.
> A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life?
No. In real life there are no end credits, so the picture keeps going on until the relationship falls apart. Or if you're one of the very wise and very lucky you'll die in each other's arms.
> A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life?
No, they are written by losers like us who have no concept of the workings of reality. Romance stories in media are all a load of crap that should be ignored. They give men the wrong message on relating to, attracting, and staying together with women.
>1) Do you guys ever see there being a chance that we end up together?
There is a very real chance, but it involves you deciding to go for it and actively seducing her, instead of waiting that she falls into your hand like an apple from the tree.
>Is there a situation where later in life, she realizes that I'm the one and returns my reciprocated love? Or is even having that mindset ruinous and dangerous to my person?
That mindset is dangerous because it's very passive. You are leaving everything up to her. You love her, so YOU should be much more active and make her reciprocate your love. You would be much more attractive to her if you actively displayed your attraction to her.
>2) A general sort of question, do Hollywood romance movies and fairy tale stories ever happen in real life?
The world is such a diverse place that even hollywood fairy tales can happen. More seriously these kind of stories exist to meet an emotional need, they are not sociological reports of what actually happens. They reflect some aspects of reality, but have their own goals than just to depict reality. In any case don't try to emulate the stories. The best way they can be useful to you is if you notice that the girl you want likes certain movies, this can give you inspiration for common activities, but should certainly not mold your life or relationship with her.
you have to be prepared to lose the friendship. good luck.