I think it's over... (7)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-05 02:16 ID:moP6Snw6

So as of late, my girlfriend of over a year now has kept on having "doubts" about if our relationship is going to work out or not. I love her deeply, and she says she loves me, but it always seems like she doesn't put forth the effort to deal with problems in the relationship. I myself try my hardest to fix the little things and all, but it never seems the be enough. Everything goes fine for a while, then she just goes into some kind of "phase".

Anyway, I personally am feeling really bad about the situation, it seems worse than any other episode. I'm wondering, what should I be doing, while she's in her "leave me alone" state? And then, if everything really does go to shit...what then? Right now I'm already hurting, I just know that if the relationship ends, I'm fucked...

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-05 16:09 ID:0BoHYckL

it's counter intuitive, but you leave her alone.

don't contact her and get on with your own hobbies or whatever it is that you do in your life. hang out with your friends.

soon enough she'll get back to you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-05 21:57 ID:moP6Snw6

OP here, thanks...yeah, I'm using this time to myself. Still hoping that everything ends well.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-06 03:35 ID:wfcX1Ei4

I hope it does turn out alright for you too OP these kind of situations are terrible. I've never been in a relationship for over a year but the last one I was in ended in similar conditions as yours I let her alone for a couple days and then when I called her she was with some other guy. This actually happened to me twice with different girls. I don't know what to do in these situations either I wrote a really emotional letter once and it worked well but it depends on the girl. I wish I could help.

5 Name: Darkaura : 2009-12-06 06:56 ID:6dWibwfe

OP, it sounds like you need to get out of the relationship. I'm sorry to say this but you need to move on if you are truely trying to fix the relationship and she isn't trying then you have to say goodbye. The relationship is not a healthy one, for either of you. If you feel you need to stay with her, then sit down with her and talk again.

Honestly though that's just my two cents worth, I don't have any relationship experience myself but I've witnessed enough to be able to give advice.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-06 18:32 ID:EVSQIRg1

I agree with >>5.

People never improve, and usually get worse as time goes on. If things aren't working out now, just wait.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-06 19:03 ID:sXAjr9gq



Seconded. I tried to fix my last relationship but it was a one man effort. She didn't give a damn and I thoroughly regret grovelling in front of her.

Ironically by letting go now you stand a higher, if still minute, chance of salvaging something...be it the relationship or your self esteem or her respect for you.

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